To not understand how people have an evening.

[Littlebittiredoflife]

My children are 8 and 12 and we've not had an evening for basically that long. 8 year old is in bed by half 8 and older one up later but sorts themselves out. We're always washing up, prepping lunches, putting washing on, unloading dishwasher, until at least 10pm at night. I mean at least one of us is (obviously not me tonight as I'm writing this). I saw someone who said they watch TV together then one of them goes and reads and the other plays video games- are they getting in bed at midnight? Obviously when they were younger and needed more help with sleep and eating I accepted we wouldn't have much time to ourselves, either together or apart but we still don't seem to be getting any.

Also I'm aware we do have an evening but it seems to be spent on routine and never pleasure!

Pasta is quick, cheap, filling and versatile. I do at least one pasta dish a week. Tonight it was creamy sausage pasta which I did with broccoli. Used just one pot and one frying pan.
The good thing about pasta is that if you make enough, you can often have the leftovers cold in a lunchbox, so that's the lunch for tomorrow sorted too. Just bung it in a Tupperware and put a bit of fruit and a yoghurt with it.

So you manage to wash all the bedding for all the beds in one load? All the towels for the whole house as well? Then darks, lights, etc...they all go in one of two loads with the bedding and towels?

We have dog towels as well, and in this kind of weather they need washing every day or so, so even with a few in rotation there's a lot of washing.

Get yourself some baking paper sheets for the baking trays then there’s no soaking and scrubbing.

I'd focus on doing what you can to get dinner earlier where possible, so if you are home first you start dinner ready for a soon as your husband comes home and vice versa. Easy meals or slow cooker for the nights neither is home early. Possibly even something in the oven the 12 year old can switch on easily after a bit of practice? Younger dc would probably eat quicker earlier if they are not as tired.

Towels fit easily in one load for the house 4x shower towels and 3x hand towels.

Bedding I can get both kids singles in one load.

I do about 4 loads a week for 4 of us.

I don’t wash ALL bedding every week. There is no need. Unless anyone has been sick or sweaty etc. I wash them in rotation. But I can fit the DCs in one wash with clothing yeah.
I have all light grey towels so they can go with lights or darks.
I do one whites/lights and one dark wash.

I batch cook by just cooking double now and again so I can freeze it.

Do your kids/you do any sports?

16-18 years old aren’t children!

Anyway, last time I looked, bringing up children didn’t mean being their servant. It’s about teaching them life skills that prepare them for adulthood, not doing everything for them.

All teens should absolutely be doing chores.

Our kids are 8 and 14, we both work full-time and we have an evening and have done for years.

I got home with youngest at 5.30. DH was wfh and finished at 6. We both cooked dinner, ready at 6.30. Dishwasher was already filled with stuff from the day. Wash load was put on in the morning so I just had to put it in the dryer. Ate by 7, cleaned up by 7.30. At 7.30 our youngest will do spellings, times table rock stars and piano practice while older one does homework. Youngest will have a quick shower at 8, read with us and in bed by 8.30. Oldest will stay in her room until bed at 10. Me and DH will chill and watch TV firm 8.30 til 10.

Yes, definitely this. Just get a roll of cheap baking paper and tear some off every time. This is what I do. Cleaner and makes your chips crispier

I wash the bedding once in a blue moon when I think it needs doing. It doesn’t seem to be doing us any harm. I do a wash load every other day. We have a cleaner once per fortnight.

I go to yoga once a week so not particularly sweaty to be fair. They just go in the laundry basket. Dc play sports but have multiple kits and the timing of their sports (one on a Friday and one on a Wednesday) means they are not sitting there all week.

They are not particularly muddy/smelly kits though. Ds plays rugby so after a match it can be messy enough so I will wash them straight away then yes. So it’s never too pressing.

Everyone has a laundry basket. DS’s is in his bedroom, DD’s is in her en-suite. Ours is in our bedroom. They get brought down on a Friday night or Saturday morning.

This is utterly bizarre. I have a 12 and 4 year old and do all of this every evening and they are both sorted by 6:30pm. Do the dishes as you go along when cooking so all you have left is the plates to chuck in the dishwasher. And I do literally nothing in the morning as I leave for work at 5am.

It sounds like you hoover once a week, why not just do it at the weekend and top up where needed on week nights?

I have three kids and work full time and I wouldn’t spend my evenings doing this. I think it’s so important to have wind down time and time for yourself or as a couple. The person not putting the kids to bed does straightening up, dishwasher etc. Washing gets done on the weekend or a quick load put on in the morning. Yes my house isnt immaculate but i’d say it’s pretty clean and tidy most of the time. OP you need to claim back your time!!

I have 3 children (7, 5 and 2), I do the lions share of parenting/housework, and I’d say I’m wrapping up by 8pm for the evening most nights of the week so I get a couple of hours to myself before bed.

I stack the dishwasher as dishes are used, so it takes a couple of minutes max after dinner to add those dishes. Dishwasher goes on overnight and I unstack it in the morning while DC have breakfast. Then I prep lunches for the next day while DH plays with the DC and gets them bathed. Once I’m done, I help DH. Bedtime is 7pm for the 2 year old (which I usually handle - takes about half an hour), older 2 usually go to bed between 7pm and 7:30pm. Once I’m done putting the toddler down, I’ll usually wash any non-dishwasher dishes; this takes me 30mins max (and only that long if there are also dishes from breakfast/lunch that I haven’t been able to wash earlier in the day). I do laundry during the day, usually put it on first thing and hang up in the afternoon after school.

I will say that I only work part time (3 days per week), but on my “days off” I have my 2 and 5 year old home as well (my 5yo is starting school this year so it’ll only be the 2yo now). I also run my own business, so I do often end up working a little on my non-work days. I’m hoping I’ll get more time for housework on those days now that I’ll only have 1 DC at home.

My husband is autistic. It takes him 10x longer to do many domestic tasks than it takes me. Changing the bed, I do it with the grandchildren on a Monday morning. They like to 'help'. Even with a nearly 4 year old and a 2 year old it takes a matter of minutes. The old sheets are thrown down the stairs and put in the machine.My husband wouldn't be able to cope with doing it with children and I can go in the shower, blow dry my short hair , get dressed and he'll still be doing it. Chopping a punnet of strawberries is so unbelievably and impossibly slow that I have to go and do a job in another room. Some people are fast , some are slow. Perhaps you are slow people. My house is very large. It doesn't take an hour and a half to hoover it and I am a meticulous hooverer.

Mine is out on the line majority of the year (except a rainy day). Air or tumble dry for a few mins in the evening and put away. Hardly ever use the tumble dryer. If I saved it for the weekend and the whole weekend is rainy, i’d have the tumble dryer going all day (you should never leave the house with a dryer on either so i’d be stuck at home instead of enjoying the weekend).

Its been sunny for the past week, had towels in my load today and they were straight onto the towel rail in the bathroom and nice fresh line dried towels tonight. Got it on the line before work/school run. No overloaded washing basket, definately no washing everywhere and no giant pile for the weekend. Its works great for us.

DC make their own packed lunches (have done since Y3).
I put washing on before work, DH folds the dry stuff and hangs up the wet stuff to dry when he gets in
I meal plan at weekends and try and get a couple of meals ready.
We rely a lot on fresh pasta, jacket spuds and casseroles (prep in the evening or first thing, put in the oven on a timer before we go to work)
DH does the cleaning on Saturday mornings when I’m out with the kids. We’ll do wipe rounds etc during the week. Ok so cleaning could be better.

You’re doing too much. Your house must be a show home! Are cooking a 4 course meal from scratch every night and dusting the skirting boards?

I don’t think so, if you read it carefully she did 90 mins when she got home inc w break, she did nothing between 6 snd 7.15 when she had dinner, her husband then did the clearing up between 8 snd 9.30,

I think they don’t just get things done, they take breaks, then because they finish at 9.30 they say whol evening gone, but count breaks and eating dinner as part of the chores,

they do a normal amount they just spread it out, take ages, take breaks, instead of just rolling their sleeves up, and getting it done together,

I use deodorant. It’s excellent and preventing sweating and body odour. Why not give it a try?

Nope still not doing it!

My point was that the daily washers end up doing more because they are looking for stuff to wash.
Mine is done on a Friday pm, on the airers in the utility out of sight finished and away by the time everyone stirs Saturday am
No huge baskets or laundry everywhere.
I love that time actually ,quietly folding with a coffee , Bliss 😊

Wow, never heard of it, thanks! 🙄