To not understand how people have an evening.

[Littlebittiredoflife]

My children are 8 and 12 and we've not had an evening for basically that long. 8 year old is in bed by half 8 and older one up later but sorts themselves out. We're always washing up, prepping lunches, putting washing on, unloading dishwasher, until at least 10pm at night. I mean at least one of us is (obviously not me tonight as I'm writing this). I saw someone who said they watch TV together then one of them goes and reads and the other plays video games- are they getting in bed at midnight? Obviously when they were younger and needed more help with sleep and eating I accepted we wouldn't have much time to ourselves, either together or apart but we still don't seem to be getting any.

Also I'm aware we do have an evening but it seems to be spent on routine and never pleasure!

Don't wash tops daily, unnecessary washing. Same with weekly sheets, no need. That'll cut your loads down.

I don't think you're a naturally efficient person OP. You left jobs for the evening when you'd been home all day, that's crazy!

Swimwear can go on a rinse and spin, don't hand-wash. Does your machine not have a delicates cycle?

When are you batch cooking? That doesn’t just magically happen. Time is being used at a whole other time to do that unless you are buying it in.

I know!
Pp should just get a bigger machine
Can't bear laundry constantly being done, hung everywhere etc
Then people put piles of it around the house and moan the house is messy
Unless you need to wear something just do it at the weekend , I wash Friday night and ghang up , finish and put away Sat am usually before the others are up .

I just couldn’t create seven loads a week if I tried. Family of four. I’m baffled. I do two loads every Saturday I have an 11 kg machine so it does fit a lot, but like I said, I couldn’t create seven loads if I tried. 😂

I wash tops daily and definately the most organised person I know. I guess this thread highlights we all have different standards (and thats ok) but I wouldn’t wear a top ive worn from early morning till late at night even with a daily shower. Neither would my DH or kids (jumpers/hoodies will try and get a couple of wears if clean).

You don't wear a top from morning til night? That's genuinely bonkers.

I think she meant she wouldn’t wear it again without washing it if she’d already worn it from morning until night.
I’m with her to be honest!

You don't wear a top from morning til night? That's genuinely bonkers.

If I roast then I will do 2 chickens , extra pots , yorkshire, box for next day.
2nd Roast becomes a curry and a stir fry
Thats Mon, Tues, weds
Thursday is swimming so egg on toast, beans on toast and a pudding, crumbles from the freezer
Friday fish and chips

If no roast
Prep one sausage and one chicken traybake , cover in foil bung in fridge.

If I make bolognese, curry,meatballs shepherds pie,mash then I do enough for extra.
Freeze

Just pull out what I need.

Its not magic, I just cook double

Ah I see.

Nah I'd weer it if it wasn't smelly or dirty.

Sorry if I wrote it wrong - I get dressed before 7am, in the shower after the kids are in bed (9pm). No way am I putting that top on the next day when ive been busy and on my feet all day. To me, thats basic standards. Yes I would rewear a jumper thats been over the top and clean but tshirts are washed after one wear same as underwear (ofcourse!).

So you have 4 people in the house. That's four tops, two to four bottoms, four pairs of underwear and socks. That's not a full load. I am sure you could get away with doing it once every three days.

Agree
What happens is people just go round scooping up things to make a load, instead of checking and hanging .

We do a wash load a day as a family of 4 and we have an 11kg machine! I take the blame for it as I have a thing about only wearing a pair of pyjamas once before washing and now the kids do the same out of habit. And the rest of their clothes definitely need washed every day. Then just stuff like towels, clothes, bedding once a week, the dog bed, I work out pretty much every day so exercise clothes in there daily, coats and puddle suits at this time of year, etc.

Sorry! I am very mindful of the environment the rest of the time, honest! And I do use the eco cycle and a heat pump dryer!

Dinner sounds quite late. We are normally all done by 1830 and that's even the days when I don't get home til nearly 1800. Then it's clearing up and then bedtime starts at 1900.
I don't do a huge amount of washing but then we aren't a clean towels every day family. Normally only do about 3/4 loads per week.

Plus any sports kits that have been worn (DD1 had a netball match today, DD2 is currently at football training and DS had Forest School this morning and that stuff got absolutely ditched!)

We have 4 kids under 6 and we have everything done by 9pm and no later. And that’s 4 kids to bed. Dinner, lunch prep, laundry, dishwasher, cup of tea made, bathing and getting 4 kids to bed and hoovering downstairs and lighting a fire. Unless you aRe going at stuff really slowly or you get home very late I can’t see how anything you mentioned is taking so long

I kindly suggest op that there is more faffing going on than you realise and that you don’t encourage your dc to get involved enough. Fair enough re homework but I am sure they have a few mins in the evening to make their lunches, set/clear the table, load unload the dishwasher and fold any laundry. Just doing that would barely take them 20mins in total.

Sorry, I have committed the mumsnet crime of not RTFT as it's so long, so this is probably repeating what others have said but my kids are the exact same ages as yours and my 8yo is already n her PJs with teeth brushed and ready to go to bed and it's only 6:45pm. She's having her 15 minutes playtime right now and will be sent upstairs at 7pm sharp. Some nights, if I can get away with it, she goes at 6:40ish. I could not be doing with an 8:30pm bedtime, but she is a particularly full-on child and needs a lot of attention so we need that time apart.

I would suggest dinner time a lot earlier. Ours is 5-5:30. Starting cooking dinner at 6:30 fills me with dread for a school night!

It sounds like you are frittering your time away on useless stuff, like posting on MN, worrying about stuff like To not understand how people have an evening.

When you posted this at 22.29. This was your evening.

I have evenings because I have a second job and have to work them.

Single mom to a son with complex special needs.

Here are my tips as someone with adhd who is at the hospital with her son everyday.

1. Clean while you cook. If somethings in the oven you vacuum, wipe cabinets, clean up then. Wash the pots the second you are done cooking. It should take less than 5 minutes. I do it before we sit down to eat.
2. I put the washer on in the morning. Dry when I come home. Fold and away after dinner. Takes about 10 minutes max. I do a load a day because I have extra laundry due to his needs.
3. I wipe down my bathroom while I brush my teeth in the morning and the main bathroom while I brush my teeth at night. I deep clean it once a week but it’s always in good shape.
4. kitchen gets wiped down after dishes are in the dishwasher and garbage emptied when I take the dog for a walk.
5. I have a bath or shower right away after laundry is away and put on pajamas and get ready for the night. It helps me settle in and feel like I have more time to myself. Phone goes away, yoga mat out, I stretch and read and decompress. I find being intentional with my free time makes me feel more rested.
6. Make a check list of your daily and weekly cleaning. I pick a task each day that takes roughly 20 minutes. I am too tired at night to do too much cleaning so I wake up 30 minutes earlier each day and dust, or clean windows, mirrors, bathroom, floors. Whatever is on my list that day. I find it gives me a boost in the morning and I listen to an audiobook so it’s relaxing and feels mediative. I also workout and do other morning routine things but I have found adding 20 minutes to my morning of cleaning means I relax more at night and on the weekend.

Oh no, both of ours are in bed by 7pm and we’re in front of the tv. I put laundry in the machine very last thing at night and put it on a delay to be finished when I wake ups so I can then put it in the dryer before I head out on school run. Put it all away when I come home. Dishwasher is unpacked while making breakfast, washing up is done as we are cooking so all that needs doing once we sit down is put plates in dishwasher. Packed lunches are made in the morning as a team effort. It sounds like you’re trying to load to much into the evenings… just spread it out throughout the day. It does mean you’re sort of slowly always doing stuff but it does give you the evening off. And once you’re in the habit of doing those things, it hardly feels like work at all, just sort of the routine.

Plus DH has gym kit, work uniform - no judgement of others but this thread highlights that everyone has a different idea of what is essential every day e.g. I give the bathrooms a wipe over every day (not a full clean) but sink and toilet (boys!). Others might do that once a week. We all have our different ‘every day jobs’ we cant go to bed without doing.

I dont mind not having evenings sat down as always enjoy the weekends and make the most of them (still have to do some boring jobs ofcourse). I aim for as much house stuff done as possible in the week. When our kids go to uni (scary not that many years left), will just have to catch up on the last 18 years of tv 🤣

I batch cook whenever I'm cooking something that can be frozen. I just do double/triple amounts and pot up the bits for the freezer while I'm clearing up.

So in a sense, it does kind of magically happen here. I make a curry on a day I have time, two or three boxes go in the freezer. I make pasta sauce or lasagne on a WFH day (I slow cook the sauce, takes 15 minutes to put together then simmers all afternoon), two or three boxes go in the freezer. And so on.