Dd17 holiday been turned down from work

[AmusedLemonFatball]

I know I am being unreasonable but I’m hormonal and emotional.

dd is 18 soon, shes my eldest of three.

she has requested our usual dates off for work for our family holidays and all have been rejected apart from one that is for when she is going away with a friend and their family.

im really upset, I can’t imagine going on every holiday without her this year. It’s not big holidays, just to Cornwall etc but the thought makes me feel sick. There’s no chance of her getting any time off in the summer holidays and it has to work around school holidays for my other dc.

On the other hand it’s not fair that the other two don’t get a holiday?

I have autism so the unexpected change has really thrown me off :(

2 scenarios - either she is not as bothered about the family holiday as you think and would rather not rock the boat at work / save the leave for other things. She is worried to tell you hence “can’t get the time off”

OR she is actually bothered. If so, can she get advice from the union or ACAS? It seems very restrictive if she can’t get any time over a 6 week period in summer, or October half term. Hard to know without knowing her profession.

What if annual leave request from other staff had already been submitted? Surely then a business need refusal is because there is no other stuff to cover so they are required?

The OP’s daughter put in her request 90 minutes after the calendar opened. It just seems very suspicious and like the employer are saving the dates for parents. Which they can’t do.

Either way you need to accept it and not let us make you spiral.

What was the reason that all her holiday requests were denied? Especially when she submitted them the second the holiday book opened.

My old work were very clear from day 1, do not book to go on holiday until your annual leave is approved as they cannot guarantee it. It is first come, first served and we all knew when booking was open, I would go on the system the day it became live and request what I wanted for the whole year in one hit. Even then i didn't always get it all. Your daughter has a job and if she is needed to work then she has to work, that's being an adult. She should have booked her annual leave asap and you shouldn't have booked your family holiday until you knew when she was off.

I agree that isn't fair. I also don't think first-come-first-served is fair, especially if it means that you can get all the best leave by putting in your request at 1.30am. In practice, the only fair outcomes are going to mean no one gets all of what they want, which means no one will be fully happy.

February is our best favourite time to go away. Accommodation is miles cheaper. Everything is less busy. Comfortable temperature for sightseeing. As soon as Christmas and New Year are done you have something to look forward to in the grimdark. By the time you get back, spring is on it's way.

Or that the manager approving was trying to balance up different requests and so everyone got some of their leave approved and some not, just like the DD.

You feel sick at the suggestion she’s not going on holiday with you? That overreaction means this is the perfect time for her not to be going on holiday with you for the first time. It’s not a big deal.

Sounds like discrimination and ageism against the young.

Parents need to sort their own bloody childcare, not rely on teenage colleagues to prop them up.

No, parents do not take priority. It should be fair to ALL.

I'm not sure it's true that it is something employer's 'cannot' do, though I agree it's crap and unfair practice. Being a parent isn't a protected characteristic but nor is not being a parent, so it isn't discrimination to treat either group worse - unless you can argue it's indirect discrimination, but you could make that argument in lots of different ways (e.g. yes you could say prioritising parents was indirect age discrimination - but you could also say that not prioritising childcare needs was indirect discrimination against women as they would disproportionately be impacted. I think both are quite tenuous). Ultimately only a tribunal could decide but there is nothing inherently unlawful about not being given holiday you want. If the DD's employer told her she had to take her holiday at the exact times of their choosing no matter how undesirable the timing then that's perfectly lawful, though it wouldn't do much for employee goodwill.

OP, someone's prob said already but take the younger ones away during term time, just for the next few years?

If not, they will be older soon and you won't be limited to the school holidays which are so competitive in terms of AL.

You are being unreasonable, you said it yourself in the first line so not sure what else we can do for you.
Be thankful that your daughter has a job. Have you been paying attention to the news about the labour market recently ? It's a bloody disaster.
However "hormonal and emotional" you are, you must understand that missing a trip to Cornwall is a first world problem. I sincerely hope you are not making a drama scene out of this. There were will be more opportunities in the future to spend more time with your children.
Learn how to look at the positive side when being delivered bad news. It is a crucial skill to master.

Sounds a bit off if the leave is already booked in for 26/27, we haven't even had our new forms for it yet! What kind of job is it?!

Yanbu.
Your dd needs to push this at work. Of course a business has to manage annual leave sensibly, everyone can't be off at the same time . But she has had every single annual leave rejected that falls in school holidays. She should have been given at least one of them. There's an unfairness at play here and it's not somewhere I'd want to work.

Many people take holidays in February, including skiers obviously, but also those who want to visit Southern European destinations before the temperatures start to climb.

Stop making stuff up

What and where does your daughter work ? I thank the Lord I don't work somewhere like that. my holidays are sometimes booked last minute. our company is very understanding about it. we have a week to keep for Xmas and a week for a summer shutdown. yes it's in July and I am childless but actually like taking time off that time of year even if its in the middle of summer holidays- we go away somewhere at home or I just enjoy being off same time as my young nieces and newphews. some of us childless people want to go on hols during school holidays 🤷‍♀️ we should be allowed the choice. I understand you are upset op and I would be questioning why on earth every single one of her requests are rejected ? I would quietly be looking for a new job - if she lucky she could time the new job to start after coming back from some hols 😉 also if they are booked and she tells at start of new job there is nothing they can do.

If they allocate leave by seniority then it might just be that all the school holiday leave is booked up by people who have been there longer than her.

How about booking a term time holiday just with her and making the most of the lower prices?

How committed is she to the job? How easily can she get another?

if it’s a cafe or pub job that is easy to find then if I were her I’d be tempted to just hand in my notice and go on the holidays

if it’s a major job related to her future career, or where she’d struggle to find similar in the future, then it’s different. Although having said this, if it’s going to be a consistent issue where she can never have school holidays due to them instantly being full and therefore can never go away with family again, she may want to weigh up if it’s worth it or if she wants to seek a new job anyway.

i left my last job due to holidays being impossible to book due to the whole area being taken into account (so no one off in my office but because someone 50 miles away is off it’s full) and I was being forced to use holidays on random empty days in January to even be able to take them. There’s more to life than work at the end of the day

Actually lots of places are much more fair and it’s first come first served. All staff have as much right to holidays etc, not just parents.

So do I understand it, she asked for three school holiday dates, and one non-school holiday date? She’s also a newer employer. It may be considered a little cheeky to want several school holiday dates and/or HR made sure everyone got one of their first choice dates, in your dd’s case, May dates .

She is 18 and single. Employers will usually give parents of school-age children preference for those dates.

she has requested our usual I dates off for work for our family holidays and all have been rejected apart from one

It’s full time, she qualified last year, 8am -5pm Monday to fridayb

Did this job start as an apprenticeship OP? Has she been at this company since she was 16? If so, she’s obviously got those dates off previously since this is the first year it’s a problem so it’s possible her company gives out holiday on a rotation basis for popular dates rather than first come, first serve i.e. if you get it one year then someone else gets preference the next year which in my opinion, is the fairest way to do it.