DUMB SHIT People say

[OneDearFawn]

I eat in a local restaurant weekly after work, so I typically go in with no makeup on. I am 35 and suffering with really painful cystic acne. Tried everything, my face is a mess.

Anyway, I go in on New Year’s Eve fully made up in makeup. The owners wife turns to me and says, wow, I didn’t even recognise you with makeup on, you look so much better with makeup on. After seeing I was embarassed and me mumbling ahh I suffer with my skin she stands and lists all the things allergy, hormones, everything as though to help. Yet making me feel worse and more of a spectacle. What she was saying is. God you look dog rough when I see you in the week. You should continue to paint your face to hide the offensive marks. I didn’t fucking appreciate it. Not one bit.

So got me thinking. What dumb shit have people said to you that ruined your day?

He's ugly in both, isn't he!? Some people get attractive when they lose weight. He ain't one of them!

Ha ha! My neighbour's grandson asked if my other cat was 'a spare one'. But he was only four.

You obviously don't suffer from uncontrollable worry but some people do. You, of course, could choose to understand that not everybody is the same as you, but for some reason, you chose not to.

No way! Omg!!!

Agree - ginger hair is absolutely beautiful. I wish I had flame-coloured hair! I'd grow it down to my bum if I did.

After being diagnosed with breast cancer, my SIL told me to be careful because people die from that. Thanks SIL,that hadn't occurred to me at all!

Not as serious as many posts but it did somewhat upset me. A friend said I wasn't smiling on a photo she took "because of your teeth". I have got crooked teeth but I tend not to give a fuck. It really made me wonder if my teeth are more ugly than I realise. Yeah they probably are but at least I'm not a thoughtless, shallow cow who would say something like that.

They probably mean't they thought they would be dead before then!

A bloke once told me that he ‘understands statistics’ and there are only 3 million single fathers in America versus 12 million single mums which means single mums are the problem as they are basically all sleeping with the same men.

Oh that made me laugh out loud.

You wonder sometimes if people hear themselves.

People do look better with makeup, that’s the point of it but yes rude to say. So many of these have no bad intentions but are clumsy compliments. It’s just better to not say anything!
I told someone they look amazing last year, she is the type who posts her photo lots and likes getting likes. I was told later she has an ED and I felt bad I’d conplimented her when she was in the thick of it. I just avoid it now

Yeah, the older I get, the more I realise it's just better not to say anything about people's appearance. The person who's lost weight might have cancer, for example. If you want to say something nice and give someone a boost, it's best to compliment their clothes or accessories or say how such-and-such a colour looks good on them.

When I was a teenager I wore natural looking make up most days. One day I went make up free and went to the local shop, the kind older woman at the till gasped and asked me if I was ok, she thought I looked really unwell 😂 this was genuine concern though I really don’t think she’d noticed it was make-up vs no make-up.

you have my sympathy with adult cystic acne, I had it for years. I tried everything (but roacutane), just seemed to get worse. The thing that fixed it for me was stopping almost every treatment. I only wash my face every other day in the shower, gentle exfoliate with a flannel, hyloronic acid, basic moisturiser, otherwise I just don’t touch it. Sorry for more unsolicited advice, I often want to give unsolicited advice to strangers but of course bite my tongue because it’s incredibly rude, only doing so here because it’s all anon and hopefully not embarrassing like it would be in public. I had been reading about products damaging the skin barrier and skin microbiome, but some exfoliating helps remove dead skin cells. Been clear for about 6 years and recently tried to drop the hyloronic acid and the cysts were back after few weeks 🙄

I have one objectively stunning child and one still good looking but not as stunning child. The amount of times people comment on it in front of them BOTH is incredible. ‘Oh wow child a, you’re stunning aren’t you? You wouldn’t think she was your sister would you child b?’ Or ‘isn’t child an amazing looking Pisco?’ When child b is standing next to me. It’s affected them both very badly in different ways. People have no tact at all.

I’ve got a huge gap between my front teeth (not fixable) and I hate it. I hear comments about other people’s teeth and it makes me wince as I wonder what people are saying about mine! That said at 46 they aren’t changing any time soon so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Definitely! Avoid anything body and face related and compliment on clothes, style etc
It’s hard as on the weight loss threads SO many people feel sad that no-one is saying anything to them about their losses. I say they will definitely be noticing but don’t want to say anything.

The dictionary definition: Dumb: stupid. : showing a lack of intelligence. asking dumb questions.

It's not offensive It's accurate..was it you that asked her the offensive dumb questions?

People can be thoughtless pricks. I'm so sorry for your loss 💐💐

When having a moisture mask applied at a spa I was told I had a "very three dimensional face". Which I think is code for "you've got a massive conk"

I get the definite impression that a gap between the front teeth is seen as a sign of beauty in France.

Red hair runs in my family and I'm absolutely gutted that a)I don't have it and b) neither of my children have it. Ginger hair is gorgeous!

Ugh this is awful! And as you say, it’s not good for either of them.

I may have a similar situation with mine (too early to tell with youngest), first child inherited mine and DH’s best features. He has my husband’s gorgeous hair and it gets commented on all the time, a family friend even said, “it’s such a shame, that hair is wasted on a boy” 🙄. Too early to tell yet with second but I am worried they’ll inherit my boring hair, I’m not fussed myself but I know people will make comments/comparisons.

It’s awful isn’t it? Different thing but I was consistently told how charming and what good company my sister was. By family friends and other family members. It’s hard to shake off and it’s made me paranoid about my personality.

Whatever the issue making the comparison of one child over the other or favouring one is so terribly harmful. I would say it’s worse for the one being unfavourably compared but that’s probably because it’s my experience! It destroys your self confidence.

I think I’d have to take them aside and have a stern word really.

Even my husband is constantly telling me one of our adult children is such a laugh and everyone tells him what great company he is. I know it’s because he’s basking in the reflected glory but I always push back on it. My other son may not be as charismatic but he absolutely blossoms when someone praises him or shows an interest in him. He also works incredibly hard at things.

Incidentally my charming, gorgeous older sister has glided through life in many ways and people have always looked after her. But eventually many people get fed up with her because she doesn’t make the effort with them as she’s never had to.

I couldn’t give two hoots either way about Chris Moyles but saying some people ‘get attractive’ when they lose weight is really not a nice thing to say.

I don't think it is unfair to say that being of normal size is more attractive than being obese. Would 'more attractive' be better wording? FYI would say the same about someone who was underweight gaining weight.