My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Do you know all the details op? Was it an elderly dog who died quietly after an illness? Was it a sudden traumatic thing? Does she have young children who need support to handle it? If you don't know all the details then YABU. Even if it was a perfectly standard pts situation, ya still bu, everyone handles things differently.

I don't see a problem with someone taking an unplanned annual leave day. Purpose is irrelevant unless it's to avoid something specific and the reason is a piss take.

I don't agree with breavement leave for pets but if someone wants to take it as annual leave, no issue with that.

Wow, you are an unsympathic, uncompassionate person. I hope I don't work with you in real life.

Managers are human beings with feelings as well. If anyone, manager, CEO or otherwise wants to use their annual leave to grieve the passing of a beloved pet why shouldn't they?

It's not "slacking off"! Taking a paid sick day when hungover / because kids are sick / car broken down, aka not actually sick is slacking off. You manager is perfectly entitled to use their annual leave as they see fit so that when they are in work they can concentrate on their job.

Where does one draw the line? What about a pet guinea pig? And does it depend on one’s job? Can’t imagine many people would be happy to have their surgery rearranged because the surgeon’s dog had died a couple of days beforehand.

Then you deserve some compassion and some time off too. Do you think maybe that’s why you find her taking leave annoying?

I just couldn't feel any empathy for this. I have no issue with people taking time off for whatever reason. If they need it they need it. But feeling empathy for them is a whole different thing. If something truly horrific happened to someone I know and I felt true empathy towards them I would likely think about them a lot, feel that sick feeling in my stomach, lose sleep, possibly cry etc I would really struggle to feel that over a rabbit or any pet to be honest.

As an animal person I do find it ridiculous. Where does it end? I've had staff say they're not coming in because their rabbit died.
I've lost many pets from hamsters to horses and, yes, I was heartbroken but have enough of a work ethic to not take time off.

I wouldn’t want a surgeon operating on me if they were feeling so upset and crying etc, I’d rather it was rearranged.

Then why the lack of empathy?

By the same token, you probably wouldn’t be overly thrilled at being operated on by a surgeon to distraught to differentiate one end of a scalpel from another.

In terms of where to draw the line, that can be a bit of a puzzler when it comes to humans too: aunts, uncles, cousins, great grandmas, etc, etc?

Are you really that naive?

She had the day-off. We have no idea whether she felt she needed the day off, she might be a piss-taker for all you and me know.

YABU.
The dog is her child.

I'm not sure I'd want to be operated on by a surgeon who (because they too are human beings) was too upset to focus 100% on what they were doing.

A dog is not a child not even comparable

This.

As a society, to flourish, we need as many people as possible to have a work ethic as well as the mental health and resilience to back it up.

We need to try to show empathy and sympathy, but we cannot encourage time off for pet death, as, along with things like transgender ideology and unlimited immigration, the more we go down these routes the nastier and more damaging the far right backlash (which will inevitably one day come) will be.

You would get 5 days in my public sector organisation, of special leave. Then you’d be expected to be signed off. It doesn’t sound very compassionate but special leave for bereavement is for sorting the admin etc of a funeral, not to grieve as such. No-one would be expecting a bereaved parent back, they’d be signed off by their GP as unfit for work.

The dog was her pet. We all love our pets of course.

YABVU. Pets are family. When she goes, I will miss my cat more than I will some of my human relatives.

If you feel you need time off for your cats and it's offered, then take it. If you don't, then don't. But stop holding other people to your own experiences and feelings.

A friend of mine took 3 months off when his dog died.

He works for the civil service...he still has a job.

Suffering often makes people more callous, not more empathetic.

We don't all love our pets in the same way though. Some people have a closer bond with animals than others do. Some pet owners can function after loss, others cannot.

Both my son’s dogs were put to sleep this year and we were all heartbroken. They were both 13.
The children were really affected as he had always been there so they didn’t know life without him.
It’s heartless to not understand it’s a loss of a member of the family. YABU.

Apologies duplicate post

Why not a pet guinea pig? I’ve had one of mine 8 years, longer than some dogs live