My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Losing a dog is not the same as losing a family member (assuming close family or the not have taken time off).

Assuming she didn’t get bereavement leave, it would be emergency annual leave and would come out of her annual leave allowance. I would accept that, people should be afforded a bit of leeway and compassion for how they want to use their annual leave.

Not remotely ridiculous to have a day off when you're grieving, whether that be for an animal or a person.

Why wouldn't you take a day off for your cats' death if you were upset?

What does her being the manager have to do with it? Everyone has the same rights at work whether or not they manage.

I’ve been upset for years, my mum is dying very slowly and I have two children who are in and out of hospital. I also got a divorce last year. If I was off every time I was upset I’d never be at work

Did they get paid bereavement leave? Seems unlikely, but if so I assume the same applies to all staff.
Look out kitties!

Or, did they take their own time off that they are entitled to (holiday or unpaid) the same way anyone could for whatever reason as long as their manager agreed? In which case, why do you even care?

I think it depends on why she needed the day. I don’t think one day will make any difference to how upset she might be feeling but when our dog passed I had to book in at the pet crematorium 20 miles away and take him there so needed to do that during normal working hours. It was classed as emergency annual leave so came out of my holiday entitlement

Yeah I do think you're being a bit of an asshole actually. You did ask!
Peoples pets are their companions, by their side for many years, of course it's upsetting when they die, especially if it was not a nice death or unexpected.
If you're so upset you're not going to be concentrating on work.
If it doesn't affect you why post about it? You should try having some compassion, you might be in need of it someday.
Bit risky too given your boss could be on here.

It's not a competition.

If you don't feel well enough to be at work then you can always get yourself signed off.

I just tho k that if she isn’t bothered about trying to make it in then the rest of us will start slacking too. She works from home ffs

You sound horrible.

The poor woman obviously felt unable to work, which is completely understandable.

You lack empathy. Shame as one day you may need some yourself.

I remember when my darling wonderful Dad died and I came back after breavement leave (think I had a week ish). My colleague told me her dog died and she was also feeling sad.

And in that moment you know what I felt?

Compassion. Because I am not an arsehole.

Wow that’s pretty amazing!

Okay I am being unreasonable! I have got my answers! Thank you all, I will try to be more compassionate now. I am an arsehole!

I didn't take time off when my dog died as I preferred to keep busy, but I could understand someone who did. I haven't for my cats either; my dog and one cat died at weekends, when I had to have a cat PTS on a work day I was at my desk in floods of tears not much use to anyone, so I have every sympathy for OP's manager.

I can see that if it was part of a pattern of leave-of-absence for reasons that wouldn't automatically demand it, it might give cause for concern, but if someone's attendance is otherwise good, I would not have a problem with it.

If refused, there would be nothing to stop them self-certifying sickness for the period anyway.

I love my dog more than most relatives. I would need tiem off when he dies but not when family members die. Why do you need everyone to feel the same way you do?

By all means take a day off but for it to be treated as bereavement leave is ridiculous.

Well aren't you lovely? Jesus 🙄

You say this but I’ve been through more than most people go through in a life time

The key question is whether it was taken as annual leave?

You are. Well done for realising

Ive taken days off work for losing pets. It can be so devastating.

I’m on the fence. I’m a pet owner (2 dogs, 2 cats). I’ve never taken a day off work when one of them has died but it’s highly questionable whether I was any good at work on that particular day. I remember one day when I lost one of my much-loved cats and I was on a professional blue light driving course. I was taken off a drive because of it because my concentration was so bad.

I’ve had pets that have outlived my marriage and seen me through very difficult times. It’s difficult to explain to non-pet people that a long relationship with a pet can mean as much to some people as a relationship with a person. Many people see their pets and spend more 1-2-1 time with them than they do adult siblings! I would, and have, allowed an employee to take a day off at discretion because of the loss of their dog.

However, even I consider it exceptional and would not expect to give a day off from work apart from immediately on the day of the loss (or maybe the following day if it was the previous evening).

I’ve lost both parents, both sets of grandparents, and multiple aunts/uncles in my lifetime (I’m 50), including my adored mum when I was 18. I’m no fragile walkover and only ever used a couple of days compassionate leave to sort out logistics for funerals, etc.

It’s all about balance. Someone who needs a week off because their hamster died probably needs some professional help! I can have empathy for someone over their dog though. As long as people don’t take the piss, the world is a nicer place with empathy in it.