My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

If someone is so badly affected by their pet's death that it's a clinical condition, they should get a fit note from their GP and would then get sick pay (statutory and maybe contractual). I think statutory sick pay only kicks in after 3 days though. I appreciate that this is difficult to do when GPS are not available. I'd assume that very few people are actually ill in this kind of situation though. I do know someone who took months off on the basis that she was suffering from a grief-related illness when her parents (both in their 90s) died.

I think that a short period of time off should be allowed for the death of close family members, and that employers should try to be flexible if additional holiday or unpaid leave is requested. Personally I used to work for an employer who unless you were one of their favourites didn't pay for many of the extras. I remember that they didn't pay sick leave when I had a serious illness and didn't yet qualify for statutory or contractual sick pay, and they were very unhappy when I had to take a half day off to be a witness in a criminal trial (they didn't want to allow the time off even on an unpaid basis). They also didn't pay any pension. This was a professional firm. That was too hard core and the lack of a policy does mean that some people are likely to be treated differently from others. But there's a balance to be had - time off costs money and overloads other staff members, and some people do push it too far.

All this debate about what's 'bad enough' to warrant paid special/personal/sickness/bereavement leave but it's as likely that the manager is using her A/L.

In which case it's completely irrelevant what she's using it for or how 'worthy' it is- if anything I would say it shows her well as a manager if she's using her AL to cover times when she technically could work but might not be giving 100% rather than to go on holiday or relax and do nothing.

At our work, when my last dog was getting very ill, she said if I needed time to “get him to the vets and then have a good cry the following day whilst he was crossing the rainbow bridge” she would fully understand.

He passed away on the big bedroom floor surrounded by his toys - he didn’t need to go to the vet, but she did get the delivery driver to help me put him in the back of the works van, and take him to the local final pet resting place, stay with me to fill out the forms and take me home.

She has done that a few times with my collegues, to my knowledge, which is an exceptionally nice thing to do in my opinion.

Everyone in my team is an animal lover, and no one has batted an eye lid if we took time off for loss of a pet. Would be annual/flexi leave though

I think that a short period of time off should be allowed for the death of close family members, and that employers should try to be flexible if additional holiday or unpaid leave is requested.

Wow, aren't you generous to allow a 'short period of time off'! I was signed off for a month when my Dad died and two weeks (on top of compassionate leave) when my Mum died. With Dad it was because my manager was a bitch who asked me the morning he died whether I'd be going back to my customer facing job the following day. With Mum it was because I fell apart at work when I went back after compassionate leave and had to be sent home.

Everyone grieves differently and while a 'short period of time' may be OK for some, it's not for others.

Trust me - you really are not. I completely agree with you , but I think we knew where this was going from the start.

Surely a short period of compassionate leave as a contractual entitlement (I can tell you that my company didn't offer that), and then sick pay if you are actually ill and signed off by your GP, with statutory or contractual sick pay accordingly.

Today's Grauniad: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/jan/15/grief-pet-death-family-member-survey

I am glad this is getting the recognition is deserves. Prolonged grief from pet loss is real, and should not be dismissed.

Sadly, this will be my reality on Sunday. Vet is booked, and my dog will be gaining her wings. I am distraught, and have no idea how I am going to get through this.

So very sorry. It’s a horrible place to be. 💐

I’m very sorry to hear this, losing them is so hard 💐

So sorry to hear this. They really do hold a special place in our hearts .

I didn’t take a single minute off when my best friend dropped dead of a brain aneurysm. I found out and that same day stood up and presented to a room of 300 people without missing a beat, came home and qualified for a national competition that weekend. One of my junior teams friends died of the same thing on Monday and she’s been off all week because of it.

Same colleague’s family dog died last year- she didn’t any take time off. If my dog died, I would be absolutely distraught. He is my closest companion, he is a ‘working’ dog so we have an exceptional partnership, and he means the world and beyond to me. I would most likely need a couple of days off to deal with it, I know I’d be broken.

Emotionally and logistically, if the horses die I’ll need circa a week or so off - but I’d take that as annual leave past any emergency parts.

Everyone is different, no one is right no one is wrong. Grief affects us all differently.

I’m so sorry. We’ve spoken across numerous threads and I know this has been on your mind for a while. I’ll be thinking of you Sunday and my DMs are open if you want to talk. I’ve suffered the same. X

Oh darling.

I’m so very sorry to hear this. We’ve spoken on multiple threads in the past and I know how much you love her. I can understand how hard this is. 💐

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. She’s clearly surrounded by so much love and care. 💐

Thinking of you, that’s really hard. I hope you can have a lovely day with her today, remember that you gave her a lovely life and you’re making this decision to protect her from pain and suffering.

Thanks for those who commented about the impending loss of my beautiful greyhound tomorrow.
It is going to be so hard. I will be alone, but I have the number for the Blue Cross pet loss line ready.
Do vets give hugs? Can they euthanise me at the same time?

I feel your pain. I will be in your position before long and I cry even now at the thought of going through it and how bereft i will feel afterwards. I have no words but please know you're not alone. I'm sure the vet will be very kind. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

My thoughts are with you today @YeOldeGreyhound. Sending love. 💐

Thinking of you @YeOldeGreyhound 🧡

Thank you to the people who have been so kind about my dear Olde Greyhound.

I used an at home euthanasia service for my dear girl. The vet who came was a lovely gent past retirement age, but felt this was his calling. He was lovely and gentle.
My girl was poorly when he came, and did not need sedation. She was gone a few seconds after the injection. I was warned about reflexes but there was none. It was like she was just switched off. She went to his car in her blankets, straight to the pet crematorium. Her ashes will be coming to me at the end of the week.

A shitty thing was that my usual vet text me 20 min before her appointment about coming in for her vaccinations. They were not to know though. The service I used does all the admin like that for you.

I am ok. I thought I was going to be wailing and bawling, but because it was the right thing to do, I think that is why I was stoic about it.
My house is horribly quiet, but I am still talking to her like she is still there.

Up you get, rise off the floor. On your feet, and out the door.
The clock has stopped, The pain abates.
Run fast, run free, The sky awaits.
Go join the race with setting suns.
The hound is slipped!
The hound now runs!