My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Really. I'm sad for you. When we lost our dog, suddenly and traumatically, my partner's boss told him to take a few days off.

It is ultimately up to her what she does with her annual leave. I know someone who took a weeks sick leave though (public sector) and that seemed a bit…much

Wow you're a true AH

You’ve no idea what anyone, including your boss has been through. It could be that this was the last straw for her after a difficult time and she just needs the day. Who knows. None of your business. YATA

To some people a dog is their sole companion. They may have no family, or NC with them, live alone.
To some people a much loved pet is their whole life and not to be mocked by others who don't know the full picture

I have lost dogs previously and just taken that specific day off and been to work the next day - albeit sad but cracked on. My dogs are family (i have kids they are second to my children but!!).
No way I would take more time off after a day or two after.

I didn’t have the day off when my 19 year old cat died or my beloved 12 year old dog died…. But I also didn’t take any leave when my mother died so I’m not quite sure what that says about me tbh xxx

I wouldn’t be able to have meetings, I’d be in bits. But I might just call in sick.

you don't know weather she used annual leave etc for the day and also have stated it doesn't affect your work so am not too sure how it affects you really. in my place today majority only back after 2 weeks off so today was like a catch up ease in day
the past two dogs we have lost died over the Xmas holidays so we had time to deal with it before work which helped as we were devastated. I also lost my cat of 18 years last year and couldn't stop crying all weekend lucky was working from home a few days after as wasn't really presentable. I do remember loosing both a cat and dog shortly after loosing my father in law and lord it floored me especially as the cat died while I was away for work. I was doing my best to hold back tears in work.
what I have learned is no one goes on in people's lives and how things affect them. if they need the time off and can take it let them. compassion and understanding goes a long way

I didn’t take time off when my dog was put to sleep. But yes I do think you’re being an arsehole. Looks like you’re not alone tho 😂

I’d think it was pathetic but I’d never voice that.

This is actually really interesting i struggle a lot with empathy its very hard when you're dealing with the loss of a child a rape a murder a serious medical condition etc and you're going through court and in and out of hospital but you are still trying to cope with life as best you can and someone is falling apart because there hamster died its hard to understand and feel empathy for them. You look at them like come back to me when you have an actual problem. This may not be right but im glad you wrote what you wrote as it does explain a lot

I adore my dog, and whilst I might not take the day off, i’d certainly be very upset and if one of my team members was off sick as their pet had died, I wouldn’t think it was ridiculous at all. Guess you’ve never loved a dog? I know my teen DD would be absolutely devastated. Thankfully there are lots of people around who do understand how hard it is.

How do you know what impact the dog's death had on the manager?

YANBU. When I had my 17 yo cat put to sleep, I went to work the next day, but then I wasn't a manager and my actual manager would not have considered this a suitable reason for being off work.

If she took it as annual leave it’s no one else’s business.

Surely you just go sick? That’s what I would do….then you don’t need anyone’s permission….glad I’m nhs ….we get bereavement leave …then sick as needed….no one would tell me I wasn’t allowed a day off for a parents funeral

My colleague had to be sent home early and then had 2 extra days off because one of our students’ mum died unexpectedly from cancer.

She had lost her DH 2 years previously to cancer and it re-triggered her grief.

Not one person slated her for having time off, even though no one she personally knew had died recently.

We were all compassionate enough to understand that grief has no rule book and if someone is that upset then they should not be at work.

@IwishIwasacaterpillar Did it severely impact you? Is she the time to swing the lead?

if not, I’d assume she does need the time. If she WFH, it’s not as if she’s getting away from the environment deceased where doggo used to live. Its bowl and toys are probably still scattered on the floor.

On another note, maybe this is a wake up call for you to take a sick day when you really feel under the cosh.

I used to work at a veterinary practice and it was common for people to be so completely bereft at losing a dog. One bloke sticks in my mind as he sat on the floor holding his dog sobbing after we had had to euthanise it.
Afterwards he said he had cried more at that appointment than at any humans funeral. His dog was his best friend and had been with him through all his major life events so far, I would have been surprised if had been in the right frame of mind to go to work the next day.
I’ve always worked the day after losing a one of our dogs/cats but equally I have friends that haven’t. No one knows what is going on in someone else’s life, the death of a dog sounds like a reasonable reason to be off work for a day.

Absolutely ridiculous and I would not be approving bereavement leave for any of my staff for a bloody pet

I took some flexi leave to have my cat put to sleep at home so I could spend her last few hours fussing her and then an hour or so afterwards to pull myself together 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know of someone who was given two weeks paid compassionate leave when her dog died. A public sector employee.

Yes. You are a total arsehole. HTH

Well it obviously had enough impact that she felt she needed the day off - it’s literally what the thread is about.