My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Oh yeah how unfair she is not to be able to control her emotions. I also don't believe some of these cold posts are coming from dog owners or animal lovers.

Yes, they were not a topic of public conversation, or workplace leave etc. Just something you were expected to get over because it was just life. Toughen up, be more resilient etc. All things you supported earlier.

I think you have misunderstood what ‘slave’ means. Babies are dependent on their parents, that’s also an unequal relationship but that doesn’t make them less than you. Animals and children and any vulnerable human who depends on others should be cared for. Slavery is the complete opposite.

Why do things need to be compared, and one worse than the other. People experience pain from a miscarriage and people experience pain from losing a dog. Maybe if people could just be a bit more compassionate of others when they are in pain, regardless of the situation, we'd all be in a better place.

A crap friend would be someone who thinks their friend is pathetic for tearing up over a cat they lost.

Babies are humans and we are biologically disposed to have them. They grow into people who have equal and complex relationships with. Nothing like dogs or pets

A year later - yes I would.

If only that were reliably true. Plenty of unequal, damaging, dangerous and terrible human relationships. Your lack of imagination in being able to see why people have strong attachments to animals - even if you don’t yourself - is a shame. How dull if we were all the same.

Then I really hope you are not friends with anyone who is ever going to experience any sort of loss, human or animal. There is no timeline for grief, and someone having the involuntary reaction of crying is not doing it on purpose and monopolising a conversation.

Crying constantly a year after a pet had died is not someone I’d be friends with. I do like friendships to be a bit about me.

For human deaths, indefinite time, of course. Because they’re different.

They are different to you.

Because I’m normal.

Are we policing the type of pet? Someone could have an incredibly strong bond with a cat, or a rabbit. My Labrador was like my first child but I would still say my closest bonds with animals have been with horses. Should companies have compassionate leave for dogs written into peoples contracts? What about someone who is devastated about their cat? That would be unfair. If someone is too upset to do their job then they can use their holiday or have unpaid leave. It’s a choice to keep animals.

I am also curious as to how you would know any friends you have would be someone who would still be crying a year after their cat died.
Do you interview any potential friends about what previous pets they have had and how they have reacted to their passing?

Many people are surprised by how hard pet loss can be when it happens to them and have been shocked by their own reactions, which can not be helped.

My mum’s favourite pet was a goose! It was a beautiful one with curly feathers, a special breed she paid a small fortune for, used to follow her around and she’d bath it and watch TV with it 😂 she’d clobber anyone who told her dogs were better at bonds

That is a setting on a washing machine and does not pertain to the complexities of human emotions.

I am uncomfortable when we are not about me? As the young people say 😆

Normal to you. To me you’re rather obstreperous and cold.

It took me two years to even be able to look at a photo of my dog without crying. I still cry over him now, 5 years after his death. I also still cry over my Dad who I had lost 6 months earlier.
And no, you would not want me as a friend any more than I would want you in my life.

Well if you're normal, then I'm very glad that I'm not.

What?? I was given only one day compassionate leave to attend my nan's funeral. And I had to use annual leave to attend the funeral of DR'S best friend (at age 33 very sad)

I have only had one dog , he sadly passed in March 2025.

Prior to him I would have been laughing at people taking time off and thinking it is ridiculous. However I grieve my boy everyday, my older kids miss him and we were all with him when he passed, he was part of my family and if there is an afterlife I would hope to have him run to see me, so please don’t dismiss people’s relationships with there pets. Some who have been part of their family for over 15years. I have grieved more for my boy than I have done for some wider family members

My brother in law was similar to you. Never had a dog before up until he met my sister, and was a bit sneery about people who get upset about losing their dogs. They lost their dog last year and he had to take time off of work as he was utterly devastated. They had had the dog for over 16 years. She was several years older than their children, who had never not had their dog in their life.

Sorry for your loss

Mental strength and resilience doesn’t make someone cold hearted. The way you have written ‘beloved’ pet does not sit well with me at all. This is an opinion post on whether time off work should be given to someone who has lost a pet, and I gave mine. It’s a shame you chose to respond in the way you did.

🤣 We have geese, I’ll have to start getting them in to watch some tv 😀

Compassionate leave is not only about admin and funerals; not everyone who takes bereavement leave needs to organise these. Sometimes people simply need time to console loved ones or process what’s happened. Grief affects concentration and judgement whether the loss is human or animal, and one discretionary day off can be far more productive than expecting someone to work when they’re clearly not fit to do so.

You’re also conflating policy minimums with managerial discretion. Policies set the floor, not the ceiling, they don’t prevent managers from approving discretionary leave. I’ve seen plenty of managers give discretionary time off or flexible work arrangements for their team’s personal matters, including pets. Last year, my manager gave a colleague a discretionary day off when her dog passed away after sleepless and stressful night at the animal hospital. One day of compassion can reduce burnout and unnecessary turnover.