My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

You were being incredibly patronising so deserve all the PagAgg.

No no one ‘deserves’ passive aggressive. Super lazy way to argue a point by taking a shot.

Not sure a pet goat is the same as a dog?

Why not?

Dogs are domesticated to bond deeply with humans, seek approval, and read human emotions. Goats are social and affectionate in their own way, but they bond more with other goats than with people- that’s literally from google.

I dunno.. each to their own obviously but I think a bond between a human and a dog is much different from a bond between a goat and a human.

People obviously handle things differently but in my opinion grieving the death of a goat may be somewhat different that grieving the death of a dog, which is why the pp may be arguing that nobody should have the day off for the death of a pet.

But there are people on this thread who say they are dog owners, but who still cannot comprehend the level of grief that some of us experience when we lose a dog.
Perhaps it's down to personality type or the strength of the bond with a specific animal. I don't, in any case, believe that we all experience or process loss in the same way.

I was incapable of doing anything for weeks after my last dog died. It completely floored me - I've never felt grief like it. I've lost both my parents plus numerous other people and animals, but this was so much more immediate, and very complex because it was illness rather than old age, so I'd had to make the decision myself and was haunted by what-ifs, plus my very sensitive son was in absolute pieces and I was trying to hold him together. I'm self-employed so I was able to take as much time as I could afford. I don't think I got back to a full workload for about a month.

Equally someone could say your husband was cold-hearted for being able to return to work so quickly after losing a ‘beloved’ pet. But that would ignore the fact that people are different and deal with death differently.

‘Literally from google’ eh? Well that’s settled then.

You were being exactly the same - or did you think the person you were replying to didn’t actually know that’s dogs are not people?

Well if I was heartbroken and couldn't stop crying, then yes I would take unpaid leave

And as it's got nothing to do with you anyway...

as someone who has owned dogs, it’s a “bind” based on the fact you’re the person who feeds and walks it. It doesn’t form a bond with owners because of their sparkling personalities. Like all pets they are effectively slaves to their masters, and the bond is a power imbalance - whether you’re a goat or a dog. Dogs owners don’t have a superior relationship to their pet than anyone else does.

The only difference between grieving a dog and a goat is that for some reason we’ve humanised dogs in recent times and some owners tell themselves it’s a relationship that’s on another level. It really isnt

Maybe because I’ve lost people very close to me in my life who died well before their time, as though I loved my dogs, losing them was absolutely nothing compared to losing people I loved

There are posters on this thread that have recently lost their beloved dogs.
Your comment is unhelpful and comes across as spiteful. Let people grieve their pets. It makes no difference to you whatsoever.

Im responding to someone who claims the loss of a goat isn’t the same as the loss of a pet.

I don’t spend my life tiptoeing around oversensitive dog owners who think the rest of the world should see their fur babies as humans just because they do

Yeah, but I think a pet is a pet. 🤷‍♀️

I am so sorry for your losses.

I've lost my parents (in their 70s) and my best friend (who died suddenly, with no warning, of a heart attack in her early thirties). I loved them with all my heart, was bereft when they died and horribly shocked at the sudden early loss of my friend.

The worst grief I ever felt was when my last dog died. She was my shadow, with me every minute for over ten years - holidays, work, home, walking for hours every day, asleep on the sofa beside me in the evening. She was the most loving, intelligent girl and I loved looking after her and being responsible for her.

She wasn't a 'fur baby' as some people say to belittle dog owners, she was my pal and constant companion in a way no other human ever has been. Other humans have their own lives and do their own things. Dogs have only you.

That closeness, the bond you have with a dog can be more than that with a human. Perhaps not for you, but for some people.

Dog owners know their dogs are not human.

No two pets are the same.
No two relationships with pets are the same.

If a pet was a pet then I would go out tomorrow and get another dog.
I don't want another dog. I would do anything to have the dog I lost back, young, healthy and full of life.
If I can't have her then it'll be a while before I think about another pet.

…for some reason we’ve humanised dogs in recent times and some owners tell themselves it’s a relationship that’s on another level. It really isnt

Or, over time we’ve come to understand that the bounds of human experience, connection and emotion are more elastic than we onde thought. We didn’t used to grieve miscarriage, or allow fathers paternity leave, or understand the impact of menopause or cancer treatment or myriad other things that affect people and are now - rightly - taken seriously.

I think it’s a bit creepy to keep a dog and think it your ‘slave’, but to each their own.

It can be worse. I was more distraught when my cat died than when my Dad died. & my relationship with my Dad was fine!

Grief isn’t black and white. My Dad had dementia so his death was a “relief” in many ways. My cat died in a horrendous accident suddenly and I was so distraught my hair fell out. I didn’t choose those reactions. That’s just how I felt.

Why don't you tell her to her face. That way she can let you know you're being an arsehole.

What a nice friend you are.

Pardon me but women have always grieved miscarriages, they just weren’t a topic of public conversation. Comparing this with loving a dog is quite offensive.

Dogs are your slaves though - they rely entirely on you every day to survive. Not just dogs, but all pets. It’s not a relationship of equal power. It’s not odd to say this at all.

Surely the friend who monopolises the conversations with tears is the crap friend?