My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

My beloved dog had to be pts week before Xmas was an early appointment then I had to go to work, it didn't hit me for a few days once my usual routines of feeding her, walking her started to be messed up as no longer there to do

I’m a 63 year old man and when I lost my beloved cocker spaniel I was absolutely devastated,she was 15 years old so was on the cards.Ive lost both parents 10 cats 2 other dogs,aunts,grandparents ect.None of which compared to the grief I felt losing her.So although I went to work(self employed) I can understand a few days off and would give an employee a bit off time to recover.

You have completely misunderstood/ misread my post.

you can take annual leave for anything surely? If someone wants to take four days annual leave because their goldfish died why does that make you so angry? As long as their employer is okay with the notice? OP has no indication that this is anything other than annual leave. People are leaping to that conclusion and seeing red.

I am on annual leave this week to read a book by the fire and sleep in! What mayhem will ensue! Where will they draw the line? Annual Leave to watch TV - should that be allowed???

I assume you didn’t take it with 1 day’s notice?

I didn’t - but I have taken a days leave with very little notice - and I have allowed loads of my team to as well. Things come up - I am okay as long as there is no big meetings that day or deadlines. My team are brilliant and sensible. I am flexible with them and in return they are flexible with me. I manage about forty people and it works really well.

so it’s not the leave that makes you angry - it’s the notice?

I'm not a pet person. I'd never own a pet. But I understand fir some people their pets are like family and ut can gave a real impact when they die.
I work in mental health and I've even seen some people accessing our services which are NHS front line services, due to the death if a pet causing a mental health crisis
It can trigger a lot if things for people. Raise old grief, add to current life stresses.
It's important to take time to address this rather than try and plough through.
My only wish here is that the general staff get shown as much compassion as the manager, and when they need to take days off for mental health that's also respected

YABU people handle things in different ways. Things can hit you in a way you never expect. I had a really rough year of losing three close family members and separating from my now ex husband as I found out he was having an affair. Continued to work through it all. Around four months later a distant relative of mine died I probably only saw once every three years and didn’t really keep in touch inbetween. It completely floored me and I needed time off work. It was the straw that broke the camels back. You don’t know what other people are doing through but I would trust that they know when they need time off.

I’ve often thought about this, since reading another thread about time off for a pet dying.
You know how you go through scenarios in your head? Well, I thought about my dog dying in the night, and what I would do if I discovered the body in the morning (sorry, I have an overactive imagination). I just don’t see how I could leave for my work at 7.30am as normal. Like, how would that even work? Not only with the sheer sadness, but I’m a single parent too, so there would be no one else to deal with the body 😳
Obviously if he died on a weekend, I’d be in on the Monday.
So all the ‘I was devastated when my dog died but I didn’t have time off’ brigade, you must have had time - or help - on your side.

I'm gonna get me an ant farm.

I think the Venn diagram of 'people who prefer animals to human beings' and 'people who think benefit claimants should be left to starve and small boats should be sunk in the Channel' would make interesting viewing.

I think the word traumatic is thrown around very easily on here

All the people on here who are saying they was more upset about there pet dying then there family. Would you not be hurt if your partner, children, parents where more upset about a pet dying then you. I couldn't imagine dying of cancer and my partner being like well at least the hamsters ok because that will be devastating when he passes

If I died, I hope my family would take comfort in the love of our pets.

Poor lady. Of course she should have as much time off as she needs, her dog is as much a part of her family as a human. Shame on you for thinking otherwise 😡

Is your manager usually good? If so then I would suggest that this event has been significant and you should have a bit of empathy. If your manager takes time off regularly for manageable events then YANBU. These things are seldom black and white but you’ve written a really basic post because you are looking for the internet to tell you your manager is daft.

I’m not angry about anything. I just find it odd and actually frustrating that people equate the loss of an animal with an actual human, and are telling others they’re lucky to have dying mums and sick kids. Always the “animal people” who show very little compassion to fellow humans. I think a lot of people also need to ask themselves why they have good connections with dogs (who can’t answer back and “love” whoever feeds and walks them, and are unable to have a complex relationship) but poor ones with fellow humans.

IME there’s a reason they don’t seem to have good relationships with humans but love having the power imbalance of owning a pet.

Something has gone very wrong in a person’s life if a dog is as much value as a human.

For some people it is.
My dogs are my family, and I'm not alone in that.

It really isn’t the same as losing a human, and most organisational policies reflect that reality.

I know what is wrong with people?! Someone's mum is dying and they've had a divorce and two ill children and yet told they are "lucky" by a person and that when a dog dies it will be so much worse for them.

I've had had dogs and yes it's sad when they die but they are not people. You cannot possibly compare a dog dying to someone's mother dying. Unbelievable.

Maybe it is but not in this case. Jesus there's some unfeeling arseholes on this thread.

What would it matter if she did providing her manager agreed it?

Someone says something. It is naive to assume it is true. It is less naive to consider that it might be true and it might not.

Yes, now you’re being an arsehole