My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Very apt name Plankton,!

That’s very understandable, must have been an awful shock and no way should you be expected to function properly mentally and just carry on and go to work like nothing happened.
. Pets are family and to some people all they have. If they need time off to mourn then let them . Whether they go suddenly or after illness or old age .

Seems I'm a bit late to the thread, by the page count but yes you are being an arsehole (your words).

When the dreadful day comes that my dog passes who has got me through one of the worst situations that could happen to anyone and saved me from suicide then yeah I'll be grieving and the job I have can fuck right off! And anyone else with shitty comments about it.

Nasty

Arsehole is understatement. I am now curious if you’re one of those people who thought Covid lockdown was ridiculous?

Yes you are being an .....

it had NO impact on you. It obviously upset her a great deal. You're being really nasty saying it's ridiculous.

shes a manager. She's still a uman being. with feelings. Not a robot.

This is an odd exchange of messages

firstly the poor poster who dropped the bomb that they took their deceased dog to work, and OP replying just casually ignoring that bombshell!

I think it’s good your manager was honest about her situation (she didn’t need to share any details at all if she used annual leave).

Your response is the exact reason why I instead rang in sick when I found my gentle faithful cat dead in horrific circumstances. I just knew certain people would mock me so I opted to lie. I felt sad that I couldn’t be honest.

I once had a manager (quite laddish blokey type too) who had a day off when his mouse died. He'd already paid £150 for an operation (this was about 15 years ago too, so worth even more) and it croaked it a couple of days later!

& you walk amongst us.

Totally agree but that doesn’t give people free reign to do whatever they feel like.

On a practical note I seriously doubt any HR policy on bereavement would cover pets.

I have had dogs all my life and yeah I was sad when they died but it isn’t like when a person dies. It just isn’t. People will want to justify and say it but it isn’t.

My friend took a day off years ago when her pet rat passed. It was written on her HR transcript: 'Unauthorised Absence - rat died.'

In your opinion, which does not make it fact. My youngest daughter's dog has just died suddenly and she is distraught. She rescued him around the time she found out that she would never be able to have children and he did a wonderful job of helping to fill that gap, giving her several years of love and companionship. We all loved him dearly and will miss him terribly.

I mostly agree but nowadays a lot of companies are sympathetic to general stress and mental health issues so I'm not sure how much the 'root cause' matters. If you were having a bad time already and then your cat was hit by a car and left to die slowly I can see how this might be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back.

Oh my, I'm probs going to hell but I'm struggling to keep a straight face at that! I wonder if it was buried in a mouseoleum. 🤔

I've also been upset for years due to a chronic severe health problem of an immediate family member amongst other things. Separately I would be inconsolable if my dog died.

Individuals have different relationships with their pets. Some will be okay and some will be completely crushed. If it were their best friend would it be different? What is it you're upset about - the fact that they didn't just man up and come to work or the fact that they're so upset about a pet dying?

It's one day.

It is a bit ridiculous, I agree. It's not as though she has to be spending time phoning relatives and friends to let them know and then discussing funeral arrangements with a funeral director.

I grew up with dogs and was always attached to them but I remind myself that they'd likely forget about me pretty quickly given enough pork chops. And a cat would probs sit and watch its owner stabbed to death without batting much of an eyelid.

I don’t think your know what grief is. It’s an emotion not an admin duty.

its never ridiculous to take leave. We all have a legal right to leave - we have no idea if this lady took sick or special leave - it was possibly, even likely, annual leave. Or if this is a flexible working environment she just used hours owed to her. We have no idea.

Can I just say my dog literally won't eat if I'm not around, she will refuse off people and she waits for me to eat before she eats. I never taught her this.
Just aswell I'm not keen on holidays or she would go on hunger strike! I do honestly believe dogs have loyalty that can be more than some humans - which is why some people really do grieve for them when they go!

I agree with you OP, it’s ridiculous. I wish people would start treating pets like pets again.
When my dad died I got 5 days off as per company policy. It wasn’t nearly enough because I was his next of kin and had to not only organise a funeral but also clear his house out, tell relatives, organise his finances and of course, grieve.
I thought my manager at the time would have exercised a little kindness and let me take longer (I had no holidays left as it was just before the end of year cycle). She didn’t.

She did however take 3 days off when her dog died a few months later.

lol so true about cats. This is why I prefer cats, I like that they have higher standards and make their humans work for their very basic love (I say love - I mean lack of contempt 🤣)

But most organisations have policies right down to “immediately family” so parents and children. Otherwise where do you draw the line? 4 days off when the goldfish dies? Dogs aren’t some superior pet and despite what many dog owners think, they don’t have a superior love for their dog than other people have for different pets.

You’re lucky to have a Mum, children and (until last year) a partner. I have none of these. My dog is all I have and I will be devastated when she dies. Everyone is different and please have some compassion for people who don’t think like you.

FGS can we not get into the “My life is shitter than yours” Olympics. To tell a woman whose mum is dying that she’s lucky, is absolutely disgraceful. I don’t have a dad anymore, but I’d rather die than tell people whose dads are dying that they’re lucky.