My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

In my work this wouldn’t be an issue. I have more than once told members of my team to just log off & go do what they need to do for this and other issues that pop up. No need to book leave, just agreed between us. We are not robots, life happens.

I have had similar flexibility & accommodation from any line manager I have worked with too.

in my experience people (at least where I work) put in enough hours & are dedicated, so this type of accommodating approach works, so long as not abused obviously. Respect goes a long way

I hate those policies. Parents are not always the ones that have the biggest impact 😔

My lovely dog was chosen by my late fiance who passed away very suddenly.. she’s the only connection I now have to him and without her I wouldn’t have got through his death. I often worry about when she goes as I think I’ll be a complete mess. Everyone is different and experiences grief differently.

It’s a paid benefit everyone gets in my company! As a vet myself I’ve referred a lot of people to grief counselling after the loss of their pet. I hope you never say that to someone struggling you horrible piece of work

Am sorry for your situation, OP, but this isn't grief Top Trumps! It's possible for more than one person to be having a difficult time. If you have a kind energy that's likely what you'll get back.

Yes you’re being a bit of a cow sorry.

what are her circumstances? Does she have a family? She might only have the dog.

its one day, not one month. Stop being so judgmental and negative. Too much hate and bad feeling in the world, toxic.

This was me 6 weeks ago with my cat who I’d had since he was 6wks old and very suddenly over the space of the weekend deteriorated, I’d not slept since Sun morn as all throughout Sun night we thought we were losing him (we’d already been in and out of vets Fri afternoon and most of Saturday. I didn’t want him to die alone, or die and one of my children find him so stayed close throughout the night, so I took Monday as a flexi day (using my own built up hours) as I couldn’t function due to being so tired, he was back in the vets and we were waiting for a call, which we got at gone 5pm that eve, picked him up and it was clear he wasn’t going to make it, so we brought him home and then Tues morning we took him back to allow the vets to help him on his way, and honestly it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt (I’ve had other traumas in my life but this was indescribable) so I took leave for Tues and went back to work the next day.

I could not have worked and luckily my colleagues were very understanding, my unexpected leave put nobody out and no work was missed. Losing a pet who you’ve had for so long is so painful, for me I’ve been wfh for over 5 yrs with only 1 day a wk in office, so I’ve spent more time with him than anyone ever. Just to put into perspective, he was around before all my children, helped me mentally get through all my miscarriages, successful pregnancies, husbands deployments (military family), moved around the country with us, even came on holiday when we couldn’t get someone to feed him when we went away, I woke up every morning with him curled up on my legs, he was a huge presence and his decline was so sudden that I felt like I was in shock for a good while. So taking time off work, whilst I know not everyone can (and my previous role I probably may have struggled to take leave so last minute) was essential and your manager may have felt the same. I would never ever judge anyone for how they grieve, particularly when taking time off isn’t affecting anyone.

So sorry for your loss.

try not to worry about what happens after your dog. You will worry yourself sick and ruin your peace of mind x

Wow this is quite an uncompassionate response.

I feel this a little. I am close to my Mum, but that's it. I do not have children, a partner or siblings/cousins etc and me and my Dad have never got along. In day-to-day life, it is me and my dog and that's it.

If I didn't have my Mum (which I know is a position a lot of people are actually in) I wouldn't have any other family I can call close.

My dog absolutely is my family, we're a package deal. There's only me to look after her and there's only her with me in the house. There'd have to be something quite wrong with me if I didn't have a strong attachment to her.

Some people really are blinkered to the plight of others' worlds.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some joy again soon x

Yep, you are being an arsehole.

HTH.

I worked with a lady once (in her 40’s) who had a day off when her rabbit died. She didn’t have any children so was very childlike anyway. Wonder now if it was the different kind of ‘rabbit’ 😂😂

So sorry for your loss, pets have a huge impact on us and are important. Has your vet mentioned any grief counselling if you feel like it is something that may help?

In which case I would have thought you’d have more empathy. She was clearly very upset, it had no impact on you so you are just being a judgemental arsehole. Let’s hope you never need her to be sympathetic to you eh?

Is she taking bereavement leave? Annual leave? Sick day? Paid personal day? Unpaid personal day? That information is relevant on wether is is ridiculous and if it will set a president

Far out! What is it about "animal" people that make them so horrible to other humans?

I would take a day off and have in the past, I’ve also allowed time off for staff for pet loss and animal emergencies. You have to be a bit of an arsehole to think they are being unreasonable - you might not care but they are a huge part of your life. Roll your eyes if you must but most people will agree with me.

I share a dog with my exH (she lives with him and I go round every week), she's almost 14 and having some mobility/pain issues, so at some point this year we might have to make a hard decision. Depending on the circumstances I'll be taking the day off for when it happens, but I'll take AL or flexi time for it. As much as I do think dogs are a part of the family, our Special Leave policy sadly doesn't apply to canine family members. I don't expect I'll take any more time off than that, but if I feel I need it, I will. And I'd never judge anyone who felt they needed time off after losing their dog.

I'm NHS but have a lovely manager

Well it obviously depends on whether they are fit for work - if they aren't, they need to stay off.
I had one day off when I had to take my dog to get put to sleep. It was during lockdown, I had to go alone, and it wasn't how I would of wished it to be for him. My 9yo and DP were distraught, I couldn't share with them how it really was(awful) and I just needed the rest of the day off 🤷
Edited to say yes I was NHS. Manager was understanding. By contrast, however, as 19yo student nurse (1980's so employed by the hospital) ,I was asked if I could work a half day on the day if my father's funeral. Yes really - I didn't!

That’s beautiful and compassionate .Grief is grief.. I am so sorry for the loss of your Father.

Not imo. Pet deaths can be pretty awful, especially if they’re unexpected or something bad happened. One of my animals had a horrendous fit before having to be put to sleep and it really impacted me seeing it. Each to their own but honestly, I’d mind my own business. It’s only a day off, I’m sure the business won’t fall apart

A colleague of mine took a WEEK off sick because her Dad’s dog died. She didn’t even live with her Dad.

Not like it will happen often.. I'd be terribly upset if my dog died 1-2 days before... mean response I think!