My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

I took a days AL when 13 year old dog was PTS
Kids (13/15 ) were sent to school after they said their goodbyes but had to pick up DD as she was bereft

Im a dog lover but I agree it sets the wrong standard
Most companies have compassionate leave policies and cite which family members it includes (sure pets wouldn’t be on it )

It is awful. I know a lady who spent sometime with her dog in the animal ICU, and she saw a lot of families there come out after saying bye to their pets. One lady lost the ability to walk, she was so distraught. She had someone on each side of her to get her to her car.

If it was taken as annual leave, and not just a sick day, I don’t see anything wrong with it, because it would come under ‘no-one else’s business’. We’re all different. What you might think is reasonable to take time off for might be ridiculous to some of us on here.

It's tough to lose a long time pet. I was incredibly weepy for a couple of days when my last dog died but luckily it was Friday so by Monday I almost had my act together.

My manager took a day off when she had to put her cat to sleep. She had had it for well over a decade and was distraught. I understood.

But what here sets the wrong standard? All we know is a lady took a day off work beciase her dog died. Just like you did.

why was it okay for you but when a stranger does it it sets the wrong standard?

Depends on the situation, the person, the dog.

My old dog died on the 27th of Dec, I worked the 28th as scheduled, I needed to keep busy and whilst my job is talking to people about their dogs, I am ok with that. His death had been expected for some time - some considerable time in fact as he was just turned 17. It was not a traumatic death either, he woke up, vomited blood, we knew that wasn't something that could be ignored nor would we investigate so he was put to sleep later that morning.

However in the past we have had traumatic deaths both of young and old dogs which have hit far far harder.

I've had lots of dogs and therefore lost a fair number of dogs - two of them left me absolutely in bits for weeks, barely able to trundle on and function never mind work. One of those was a sudden traumatic death, the other was not and I was shocked at my own response, but no more able to control it for that.

We can't know in advance how we will feel about events in our lives - some people will be more than capable of going to work and trundling on and being useful and productive... and some people just won't be. For those, they're better off staying at home than trying to work.

Whether thats AL, unpaid leave, paid leave - thats between them and the employer. Maybe if you have a sympathetic employer, you'll be grateful for that compassion at some point in the future. Or perhaps you'll be lucky enough never to need it.

My colleague got a week off work when her cat died...

You are being unreasonable, pets are family and I wouldn’t have been able to be face to face with people immediately after my dog passed as I was a complete mess, I would have been on the edge all day and likely burst into tears. Afford her a lack of judgment, you aren’t paying her wages ffs, one probably very day in her career. You sound incredibly selfish to have even made this petty post.

I know someone who came to work the day she was told her son had died unexpectedly and only had one afternoon off for death related admin in the months following his passing. I know other people who took bereavement days for elderly grandparents and in one job a colleague took a week for a dog death. I think we all respond differently to grief and for many people pets are closer companions than family. A day or two seems reasonable - and honestly if she needs longer there may be circumstances surrounding this that you are not aware of making it hit harder.

Oh yes it is for some people. For some people, animals are as important as any other family member. They are often with us more than any other family member too.

You are BVVU and ATA.

People can be very attached to their pets. They are family. For some, they are all they have. Pet loss can be devastating. The Blue Cross even have a help line so people can call up and talk things through.

I don't blame your manager for wanting a day off, especially if she works from home. Her dog would have been a constant presence there.

My BiL lost his dog last year and he had some time off. He was totally taken aback by how much the grief hit him.
DM owns her own company and has let her employees have time off when a pet has died. She has been there herself, she could cover their work, and they would have been useless at that time anyway.

I remember a poster on here who said she had to be prescribed artificial tears as she did damage to her eyes from crying so much after her horse was PTS.

I just hate that people will say "it is just a dog". No, they were a dog, but they were never just a dog.

How utterly ridiculous

I’m a manager. I also have children and a dog who has been by my side for 8 years, he has been my constant throughout those 8 years. When he passes (which is hopefully a while off) I might need a day or so off work and I would expect people to be compassionate even if they don’t fully understand it. Not all people grieve the same and go through experiences in the same way.

A few people have posted about very recent pet loss

www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support

How utterly lacking in compassion.

My dog means the absolute world to me.
It's just me and her, I am childless, single and have always found difficulties in relationships, just fallen for the wrong people I guess. I almost lost my life at the hands of an ex and then I dated someone who was totally emotionally inept and made my life hell but I won't go further into those things.

The point is, my dog kept me going. She got me out for walks. She made me talk to people. She meant I could go out at night and be safe. She meant that I felt safe being alone in the world and in my house (she's huge). When she goes, I know I will feel a devastation like I never have before. I have raised her from a neonate (she was a dam reject) and she's been with me always, my only constant, the only one who'd never leave.

I do not want this to sound like a sob story, I acknowledge that I am lucky in lots of ways. I have my health, I have several properties, I have good friends and a decent life overall. But she's everything to me and if something happened to her you can dam well know I will not be fit to be at work.

I genuinely cannot imagine going to work for weeks after I lose one of my beloved dogs, they’re part of our nuclear family.

Actually I can categorically tell you I won’t be when the time comes. And I’d be very surprised if my husband doesn’t have a few days off at least too. We will be heartbroken.

If people think we are strange, I don’t really care.

Daughter had time off when one of her ponies died, she was heartbroken. We see our animals as part of our family.

Fortunately for mankind, not everyone is quite as unfeeling in this matter as you. You obviously think your logical conclusion will be judged so why ask when you already know the answer. Compassion for others costs nothing even if you can't understand why the death of a pet is unsettling for a lot of people. Just accept that other people are very different to you and leave it at that.

What a nasty post. I still cry about my dog who died 14 years ago and don't need an idiot like you to tell me whether that's ok.

In fact I did go into work and my manager asked me why I was quiet. I told her my dog had died and she said "oh is that all, get another one". I just turned round, walked out of the workplace and went home. Silly uncaring bitch (rather like you)

To some people, the dog IS their only family, so the loss will be felt significantly. The fact you can't understand that is neither here nor there.

I used to think like that until we got our wonderful dog ( that I actually didn’t really want to begin with) and lost him after 13 years of unconditional love, laughter and yes support.Who knew it would hurt so much? I cried for weeks on and off.

Grieving is different for different people. I grieved more for the loss of my dog who had been by my side for 15 years than I did for some human relatives. You really cannot predict how you will respond to death. Sometimes the death of a friend can hit you harder than a relative. It can depend on what is going on in your life at the time and the role that the person, or animal, played in your life. For many people, their pets are their closest companion. Who am I to make a judgement on that?

If its within her leave entitlements i.e. she takes a sick day then how she uses that entitlement is up to her.

As compassionate as I am to people with pets, it is always going to be a point of contention if you treat relationships with your pets on the same level as the relationships with other humans, especially if it affects other peoples workload.

Our office was trying to get people back in the office after COVID and had a WFH 2day a week (which I think is generous), unless you live elsewhere. My boss was really struggling with my colleague who just wouldn't show up. She finally got her in , and then someone else in a different department gave permission for someone to WFH for 6 weeks as they had a new cat and then it all kicked off again.

Yep my family still get emotional two years on after loosing ours