My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

It depends on several things. Is the job one where her absemce for one day will cause major disruption to other staff or the public? Is her absence because of her own personal grief, or did she have to get urgent veterinary help for the dog or be with him while he was PTS? Is the day off taken as one of her days of AL, or an unauthorizesd extra?

Where do you draw the line though? Someone could have a dozen goldfish, can they claim time off when each one dies?

I don’t own a dog, but if someone took a day off when their pet had died only a couple of days before, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I would hope they felt a bit better soon. Everyone is different. Just because one person goes straight into work in these circumstances, doesn’t mean someone else feels able to.

What a delight you are. And I bet you wonder why some people prefer animals to humans.

I think if they take personal leave it's fine. Sine people are as attached to pets as family.

One of the oartners' wives claimed the three days paid grievance leave (not UK) when her dog died. It's legally for immediate family,. I think that's ridiculous.

Not a pet person, but I can see how a person might be sufficiently affected that they're not going to be able to work properly.

Wow. Tons of awful people commenting here but also sounds very American. I've worked in plenty of places short staffed and we get over it because it’s nobody’s business why someone takes a day off.

It's not up to you to dictate how someones grief should feel. I didn't know my Grandparents but I can understand some people are sad when their Grandparents die. Get some imagination.

Their follow up post explains they are (presumably) a vet and had to try to save and then put their own dog to sleep. Pretty difficult to do.

YANBU op. Sorry you’ve got so much worry with what is going on with the humans in your life. Can’t believe the dog people on this thread have called you all the names under the sun and claim you are the one without empathy! Ironic. It is galling when managers take the piss like this and I’d be silently questioning the integrity too. Hopefully she’ll have done the right thing and taken annual leave.

@Birdy1994
Totally agree.
People here sounding judgemental, jealous and as if they’re trying to be ‘hard as nails’. Very Puritanical.

She needs to grow up and get on with work

I'm in the US and no one begrudged me time off when my poor dog died. I can't believe how lacking in compassion some of these posters are.

I do.

I’m a manager. I will need time off when my dog dies. My manager above will likely understand

^This. Mumsnet seems to be full of people with no feelings and/or no understanding of anything at all (or pretending they don’t so they can just put the boot in).

I don’t have a pet but I can understand how you’d be devastated by the death of a family pet!

Do you manage people?

first of all we don’t know if this lady took annual leave or not.

secondly, most people can use their judgement when managing people. If someone rang in sick because their goldfish died, most competent managers would know where the line was. They would know not to give compassionate leave, would be able to judge whether to offer annual leave at short notice or to insist the person came into work.

The line is usually clearly drawn in the HR guidance. Good managers can apply this in a balanced, fair and compassionate way. Bad managers ask the sort of question you did.

@Horrorscope
yes - and a lot of thinly disguised professional jealousy of managers.

I think pets can mean an awful lot to people. If she’s otherwise a good manager and effective and present for her job then it’s none of your concern.

Well that’s where discretion comes in. Some employers offer one paid day off for this sort of thing and if they person needs more, they can be seen by a medical professional for a sick note?

Your pet can mean a lot to you and you can be sad, but you can also go to work

This has been eye opening reading this thread because I have never worked somewhere where colleagues/managers would be ok with time off for pet bereavement (5 hospitals - never worked in another sector).

It’s nice to read that most of you would be compassionate and understanding. Are there any NHS clinical workers here? NHS is such a toxic work environment

Where I work we get vacation leave, personal leave, sick leave that you can use as needed. Obviously, you would only use sick leave if you our your child was sick. We have bereavement leave, but it's limited to how you can use it. I don't think she should get bereavement leave for a pet, but if she wanted to take vacation time or unpaid leave, I think it's fine.

I told my manager I wouldn't be in the office the day after my cat was put to sleep. I was the only keyholder due in that day so it meant the others couldn't go in either. I worked from home but there was no way I was in a fit state to go into the office, I'd hardly slept and my face was swollen through crying. I felt no guilt about it whatsoever.

It’s interesting that you can use sick leave for a child being sick. In my workplace you have to personally be sick. You can take special leave for a family emergency which would include a sick immediate family member if for example you needed to accompany them to hospital. You could take a weeks sick leave if your child had chicken pox for example.