My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

Am I being an arsehole

Yes

I can comment here. My darling cat was pts this morning and I’m devastated. However she was elderly, it was the right decision and she is no longer suffering. I work three days a week, I will be back in on Wednesday which is the first of my three days.

If my work day was tomorrow I might have been tempted to book an emergency AL day….mostly as I have had several glasses of wine this evening.

an AL day which does not affect you is hardly an issue that you need to be weird about so YABU,

Any company that doesn’t allow someone to attend their parent’s funeral is run by absolute cunts and deserves to fail spectacularly.

Aye, you're right there. That's why so many of us choose not to have children and would rather have a dog.

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

I lost two close relatives within ten months. My dog also died. My dog was a main support for me during a really shit time.
I called in sick for one day. My manager was very understanding and compassionate.

With respect OP it is none of your business what your manager's boss decides to do about giving her time off work after the loss of her dog. And you have no idea what else is going on in your manager's life.
You are being an ass.
FWIW I would give anyone I was managing a day off after the loss of a pet, including you for each time one of your cats dies

You're mean for posting about it on here.

how unprofessional and unkind, whatever you think. Have some empathy.

Same.

YABU. I have always taken half a day off (compassionate leave) to spend it with my cats on the day they are being put to sleep (and been told I can take more off in need).

Maybe it makes a difference that am already senior and a top 1% performer at my firm, but it has never stood in the way of my being promoted / being given high-profile projects.

And I offer the same for anyone in my team dealing with the loss of a pet (take as much time as they need). No-one has ever taken the piss and they continue to perform superbly.

Christ, if my cancer surgery had been postponed because the surgeon was that upset by the death of a family pet several days earlier I’d have asked for another surgeon. I wouldn’t have wanted someone that emotionally fragile performing lifesaving surgery on me!

Cant get too worked up about a non key worker taking a Monday cos they’re feeling shitty about their dog dying though.

I'll be honest, I used to think the same as you. I'd gone back to work quickly after the death of close family members and thought anyone having the day off for a pet was ridiculous. I then lost my dog last year and the grief I have felt has completely taken the rug from under my feet. I couldn't go into work the day they were PTS, thankfully I had annual leave after that but I would have had to have had the day after off as well as I couldn't stop crying.

I do privately think it is a bit ridiculous, but I also know I am not a pet person so my opinion doesn't count for much!
I know people who love their dog more than their parents though (deservedly so, arsehole parents), and I can't see them being fit for much for a few days when the time comes. Nobody would bat an eye at them taking bereavement leave for the old bastards, but it's definitely the dog they will grieve for more!

How is sick kids not a good reason?

I love my dog more than I love a lot of my actual human family. I'll be distraught when anything happens to him, there's no way I'd be over it and able to concentrate on work tasks within little more than 24hrs, so yeah personally I think you're kinda being an AH. Pets may not be enough to make you feel you'd need a day off to recover, but to other people they are!

Honestly I don’t think it matters who or what dies, if a person is so bereft that they can’t face work then there’s nothing more to it. The company can choose to withhold pay if it’s not within the scope of their paid leave, but they can’t force a person to work that isn’t fit to do so, whatever the reason.

As a people manager, I've heard a lot more unreasonable reasons for taking a sick day.

🤣

You sound toxic.

You sound nice.

It's pretty standard to have three days compassionate leave for immediate family (ie spouse or child), including daybof funeral. I imagine few people would be capable of returning to work so soon, and would therefore be signed off sick as being incapable of working.

Same for a pet, or a friend or a more distant relative - if you can't hold it together enough to go to your work, then you youre ill. Its not mental ill health but it's just as debilitating.

Some people have a lower threshold than others for what they need time off for. She might need time off to grieve and others I know prefer to work and not think about things. If you need time off for your personal stress, don’t judge her for taking some, perhaps consider taking more “reset” days yourself if you really need them sometimes. (I’m not saying to habitually ring in sick, but if you rarely complain and feel a day at work could be your last straw, call in sick!)

@clinellwipe ’Where does one draw the line?’? What on earth do you mean? We can all decide our own ‘line’ surely?

Wow. Sometimes I just hope we don't get to experience the same harshness of judgement that we level at others.

I think it is a good rule of thumb to encourage kindness, empathy, grace and compassion when it arises -it brings so many more positives than expectations of a stiff upper lip. I've watched kind and compassionate managers build teams who would walk through fire for them on account of the loyalty which their responsive, humane management style inspires.

I'm not a pet person at all.
But if you had a pet for years, I wouldn't begrudge you taking a day off?
That is part of the family

Lucky you! Get another dog, it could become a regular thing to get time off when you want it. Hopefully no-one had to do the work you were not available to do.