Asked to give up my seat on bus

[Motnight]

On a packed London bus. A pregnant young woman has asked for my seat (only know that she is pregnant from her badge).I've said no, can she ask one of the younger more able bodied people sitting opposite or behind me? There are at least 4 people that are in their 20s / 30s and look physically fit sitting down.

She looked very shocked but just said ok. I am in my early 60s. I fell on ice a few days ago and am feeling a bit more wobbly than usual. Was I unreasonable?

The risk on a pregnant woman of falling in a packed train carriage is going to be minimal - your hyperbole is to be applauded

I don't see why somebody in early pregnancy needs the seat more than someone who's feeling a bit wobbly.

Who said she wasn't polite in refusing??

INVISIBLE DISABILITIES EXIST.

There are nuances to this. I'm in my 50s and have a knee injury that sometimes gives me trouble, sometimes is fine. I'd offer my seat if my knee was OK or if I was only going to be on the bus for a short time. I wouldn't if in pain or on a longer journey where swaying on the bus might cause it to play up. What I'm saying is that it isn't as simple as being of X age = unable to stand, or having injury = unable to stand.

You're over 60 and unsteady due to a recent fall. You need to sit.

She could have asked someone else.

I found it in the later stages of pregnancy easier to stand in a bus than early on when I wasn’t visibly pregnant but nausea meant that I really had to sit down. I’d also have asked someone who looks early 60s for a seat, OPs situation wasn’t visible/clear until she said she also has a need for a seat.

Sounds like you needed it so definitely not unreasonable. It's also not unreasonable for her to ask as long as she accepts the no.

You can also be quite far along without looking it though. I never had a baby bump that was visible through my clothes.

Not to say that the OP should have given up her seat, but you can't always tell how pregnant someone is by looking at them. They both should have seats in this scenario.

Not if they are Male, and young, they don't!

Of course they do, but not everybody has one.

Shouldn't be out on crowded buses in her condition. Imo.

The thing is, no one is saying it’s ok to not give a pregnant woman a seat - what they ARE saying is that the OP had an equally valid reason for being in the seat (which wasn't a Priority seat). I think it’s a shitty attitude to not think other people may equally need to be seated along with a pregnant woman.

Oh how lovely of you, to offer to pay for pregnant women to finish work in the first trimester. Very generous indeed. My SIL is pregnant currently, should she sent her bank details or will you be posting a cheque to cover her leaving work immediately to avoid being out on public transport?

OP has said that she wasn't in a priority seat.

I’ve gone through my stages of life of standing (without having to be asked) for a seat on public transport but now I am older have some painful health issues, I won’t be giving up my seat.

Mmm, didn't think it through I guess ?

It's not about you.

Please, please, please, on behalf of all fat London women... if you are pregnant, wear a badge.

You might think a badge is twee, but when we're offered a seat for being fat, it's just humiliating. Come on... be kind to us fatties.

Someone who is probably a good 30 years younger than her? Someone not even visibly pregnant so unlikely to be in pain? Someone whose balance reactions and general strength would have been 30 years sharper than hers? As opposed to an older person who is sore following a fall and whose confidence will have been affected by the fall? OP, you were entirely right in refusing to!

What do you mean "it's not about you"? Do you think the purpose of pregnancy badges is to protect fat women from being embarrassed?

Really???

Don’t feel guilty. I imagine that you were the most approachable out of the lot but that isn’t your fault either.

When I replied to this comment I hadn’t read that she wasn’t in the priority seat.

Yes. It always makes me cringe. If you need a priority seat just ask / don’t walk around with a badge on as though you are fragile precious cargo!

Why would you? As you say yourself, you have health issues, so a perfectly valid reason to remain seated.