Asked to give up my seat on bus

[Motnight]

On a packed London bus. A pregnant young woman has asked for my seat (only know that she is pregnant from her badge).I've said no, can she ask one of the younger more able bodied people sitting opposite or behind me? There are at least 4 people that are in their 20s / 30s and look physically fit sitting down.

She looked very shocked but just said ok. I am in my early 60s. I fell on ice a few days ago and am feeling a bit more wobbly than usual. Was I unreasonable?

Same here 🤣

Rubbish. And ageist. The pregnant woman could have asked someone who is 30-40 years younger that the OP for their seat, but nooooo, she picks on the 60 year old. And no, 60 is NOT young. As someone who is pissing distance away from that age, I'm telling you it's bloody not.

Anyone (pregnant or not) who is asking a woman in her 60s to give up her seat instead of asking someone 30-40 years younger is incredibly thoughtless ... Unless the person is disabled, and struggling of course. Then again, even THEY should be asking the people in the accessible seats to move. And if they won't (or are disabled themselves) they should start by asking younger people.

The woman in question was pregnant. Not ill, not disabled. Pregnant. If she was so desperate for a seat she should have asked a few other people. And it was NOT for the OP to ask around for her as one poster laughably suggested!

Can't wait for YOU to get to 60! Your attitude will be a bit different then, I can tell you!

.

Come off it! - you're acting like 60 is infirm and elderly - whilst accusing others of being agist!

😆

No. I'm not. Nice try but no. I'm saying people of 60 are MORE LIKELY to have mobility issues and health problems and issues with balance and hearing and eyesight.

Than someone 30 years younger.

I'm embarrassed for you that you don't get this.

Actual wow.

What about them? Clearly required based on the comments on here 🙄

Well, I'd rather be nearly 26 than nearly 66 - I didn't have the sore feet and legs 40 years ago. I'm doing my best to keep up some level of fitness, but it's much more of a challenge these days - I'm trying to fight the loss of muscle mass, but... I'm shocked at how difficult it is for me to lift heavier weights these days.

I've seen medics about various ailments and have been told that it's simply "age-related degeneration". I've been advised that the most important thing for someone of my age is to try to build up thigh strength.

I'm finding myself amused at the description earlier of someone in their 60s being "middle-aged". I'm not really expecting to make it to 120.

Why wouldn't just ask someone who occupies a priority seat?
There are marked, people sitting on them should know that they will need to give them up when asked.

F off. Hope you've never been pregnant and had to commute an hour on the tube 🙄. I'm glad women DO wear them so I can offer them my seat, which I do every time.

It was fine for her to ask and it was also fine for you to say no. Also no is a complete sentence and you don’t owe her an explanation. I have a hidden disability and cannot stand on public transport and I never feel like I have to say anything more than no.

No it's actually more younger women that tend to stand up on buses, trains and tubes in London. I lived there for 15 years. Often on commuter trains people have their heads buried down. Followed by teenagers of all genders.

When I was heavily pregnant myself I found middle aged women the least likely to offer me a seat. Probably reflected in the attitudes on this thread.

You want respect cos you had a shag without contraception and think you're more important than someone who wobbles when they stand?
The entitlement is staggering.

You weren't in the wrong, OP. I'd be put out if I was asked to stand when there were much younger people around. Early 60s isn't old but when you've fallen over it does remind you that your balance isn't quite so good any more. Did no one get up for her at all?

Yep she did and still sat down while me and others looked on aghast . I was embarrassed for her .

I’ve found the same as @saraclara about men in their 20s and 30s being more willing to give up seats - at least to someone on crutches (me), or to people 75+ (not me!). It may be different for pregnancy.

Of course, they’re also the most likely (apart from under 12s) to just push past someone on crutches and take the last seat for themselves…

I think some women don't show as much though. I wore a badge but when I was 7 months or so I forgot it once and a couple had to debate between them whether to I was pregnant or not/to offer me a seat (she eventually stood up). Also I know people who've offered only to find out they weren't pregnant... 🙈

Most people were nice if they noticed though.

Well I mustn’t have been on your bus/ train cos Îm not far off retirement and I feel it’s often only me that notices and offers

Yes my mum was really shocked when men pushed past me when I was trying to wheel a buggy onto the train on several occasions. It tends to be the commuter lines when that happens - people forget their manners when in a rush.

And while I agree that there are many fit, well 60 yesr olds who are far from frail and elderly, you're more likely to have issues than someone in their 30s.

My mum had bad osteoporosis by her early 60s and quite bad balance, and couldn't have stood on a moving bus safely.

I’m not sure if it’s helpful, but I have never experienced anyone being signed out to request a seat on the underground. Only even a voice saying would someone please let me sit down and then a rush from several people offering theirs. Much better way to do it than single someone out to ask that individual. Why would you?.

In my view/experience, it takes more bravery to decline a request!

No,I don’t think he is an exception. We are both in our early 70s. My husband still runs. Last summer we spent 2, 13 hour days hill walking and are currently planning the same for next summer. Most of our friends the same age are like this. Obviously we know that one day we simply won’t be able to do this but until that day we will make the most of it.
Yes we do stand, my husband more than me but we are at an age when people see us and offer to stand for us. We often refuse but people can be insistent. What we do find is that if we stand for someone, then someone immediately gets up and offers to stand for us.
I don’t think that people should stand in rush hour for elderly people. They have the choice not to travel then if they find it difficult.

Wow race to the bottom, just stop.