I am on the pathway now for an ADHD diagnosis which was put on my radar once my child was diagnosed.
Once I had went through my child's pathway, it became pretty obvious that I had ADHD throughout my entire life.
My mum had often said, "if you were a child today, would be diagnosed with something". As a very young child, I was described as being overly talkative, overly hyperactive and hardly slept at all. As time progressed, and I lost my dad at 6, I became more quiet, but still prone to being a daydreamer and had quite a lot of internalized anxiety.
As a child, I was always above average in terms of education, in particular with English, where I was immensely creative and loved writing my own stories or poems.
As a teenager, I once again, was above average academically, especially in topics or subjects I had an interest in. However, I was prone to getting involved in a lot of harmful relationships, and became almost sexually promiscuous until I met my (now) ex husband and settled down in the relationship aspect.
I spent a lot of my teens full of anxiety and depression - lows of taking overdoses or contemplating suicide then major highs where I was absolutely buzzing. I was able to mask massively, so my school/uni/family/friends were none the wiser.
My 20s hit and it was the most overwhelming time for me. I became a mum and was stuck in an abusive relationship and once again, became sexually promiscuous and self destructive. I am ashamed to say I had multiple affairs to try and "sabotage" my marriage and force my abusive husband away from me. I was drinking heavily when I socialised and was arrested for drinking driving after I crashed my car. I was becoming an absolute wreck.
My marriage eventually ended, but I was still taking high risks with sexual activity, problems with alcohol (mainly binge drinking and using this as a way to cope with my feelings) and once again arrested for disorderly behaviour when I was drunk (but was released without charge).
Just before I went to my GP with concerns about ADHD, I hit rock bottom where I was drinking almost every day, I was having major anxiety and panic attacks and starting to feel intensely detached from reality. I genuinely thought I had schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
I got myself into therapy (privately), which cost me a pretty dime but was well worth it for coping and dealing with internalized trauma. On my first ever appointment, the first thing I did was just cry and cry without saying a word.
My GP said a lot of my symptoms correlate with ADHD and it would explain my long history of up and down anxiety and depression, which was always just put down the "anxiety" or "depression" and never investigated further, despite a pattern.
In short, I went under the radar because I always did well academically, was able to mask very well in school and subsequently work and didnt have issues in holding down a professional job. However, my private life was quite frankly, falling apart. I was masking so hard with the public perception of me that my private life was suffering, badly.