I can relate to much of this. I have long covid and can no longer exercise. I miss work, I miss exercise, I miss life. I’m also in peri and have low iron. I don't know if I have ADHD or if it’s just a combination of the other things which I can’t seem to get any help for (I am not responding well to HRT so far).
I was bright, could get my head around difficult topics easily, was a people pleaser at school, so could pass exams. I wasn’t stretched at school and most came fairly easily, so box was ticked. I daydream alot from a child. I did still obviously need to revise, but it wasn’t with planners or timetables, it was erratic - an as and when. Homework (not until senior school) - mostly last minute. Coursework - I would sometimes try to start earlier and take more time, to counteract the ‘shit, should have started this earlier, I could have done better’ feeling. However, when I did, my marks were never any better than doing it last minute.
I’ve always been naturally messy, but needed ridiculous organisation inside drawers and cupboards etc. I struggle with timekeeping, but can meet impossible deadlines. I was a project manager and very good at it, which doesn’t make much sense on one level, but they were often fast paced projects.
I have 499 tabs open on my phone and over 23000 unread emails. My house is no longer organised - the mess is inside cupboards and out. I can’t do a hyper focus clean and tidy as there are many days I can’t even get out of bed. I’ve always hated routine - especially routine for the sake of it. I don’t enjoy noisy places, but used to, so don’t know if that’s a getting older thing, plus covid also made me partially deaf so the extra concentration in a noisy place is difficult. To smash out my best work, I need quiet and to be on my own. Headphones whilst working, would be a nightmare. The trend for study or revision time within school hours, rather than letting you go home would have meant poorer marks for someone like me - too many distractions, plus I need to sometimes speak out loud to ‘teach’ myself in a revision situation.
Was I inattentive and daydreaming a lot at school because if you have natural aptitude and don’t cause an issue, you’re allowed to coast? I certainly daydreamed less in the throes of a deadline, be it coursework or work. However, I still daydream and like a PP said, I also have multiple storylines running for years.
I can have several drinks on the go at the same time, I can have coffee before bed, if I’m up I lose my phone multiple times a day.
I cannot (seriously cannot) comprehend how people don’t have multiple thoughts in their head at the same time - most people don’t do just one thing at the same time. E.g. even if it’s just making a sandwich, you are obviously putting thought into the filling/retrieving items etc, maybe boiling a kettle, also thinking about work/putting a wash on/what happened last night/what the weather is like.
My brain has gone to mush in the last few years. I feel overwhelmed as it’s like having £5 to spend when you’re used to £100 for bare minimum essentials, but suddenly those essentials cost £200 (not about money, just an analogy).
Tangents and interrupting (due to interest) - always. It’s just that now, the tangents and jumping around topics are too hard to pick up again. I struggle to remember things, to form consistent and coherent sentences. I know I’m doing it in this post.
I find it stressful meeting people who are very early. I struggle with people who speak very slowly and deliberately or who are overly methodical. I must drive those types insane too.
I’ve always taken friendships seriously - never been a planner, but more a ‘I fancy doing this, who wants to join’. People tell me things, I can be a good listener, I’m a good confidante and would go above and beyond to help someone out. I can’t be the friend I used to be now. Alongside this, apart from my current very long term partner, I’ve been a commitment-phobe. I feel like I’m letting people down constantly as I have so little to give now. I feel like a wrung out cloth that’s been left on a radiator, trying to get damp but the tap will only send a drip every few seconds. Patience has never been a virtue of mine and once the ‘cloth’ starts to get 100 drips or so, this wait is excruciating. I’ve also developed a panache for ridiculously shit analogies.
Whilst people talk about the ‘everything is instant’ now, I feel that the ‘instantness’ I need is eroded. This is exacerbated my the limitations of my illness, which make planning really hard. If I’m well enough, I want to take the kids somewhere or do something. I can’t just drive and turn up somewhere. So much is pre booking into tiny slots, with shit apps and so much more contingency needed for parking, for everybody queuing at the same time due to slots etc. Why can’t I just scan my bloody booking? The admin around school and homework for little ones is relentless too and drives me nuts, digging into valuable family time for little benefit. Waiting lists for everything (be it healthcare, kids activity, an admin dept) seem long, sending something back online with some places is too big a feat, my accountant was repeatedly hassling me for January tax return in September/October. People seem to book things earlier and earlier in advance, shops seem to run out of seasonal (festival) items weeks in advance. If there’s an issue with an administrative thing, it feels like it needs constant chasing with little progress - much more than it used to. I find those things more of a struggle than the average person I think. I’d rather those things were more ‘instant’ and it took Amazon a few days longer to deliver or that retrieving ‘good’ information from the internet was less of an issue (as it used to be).
My daughter, 11, is becoming increasingly interruptive, daydreamy and struggles with simple decisions. She was also way ahead of her class academically for a few years, but this is evening out now. It could be hormones kicking in, could just be her, but could it also be adhd or a result of covid infections? It’s been getting increasingly worse over last few years.