Would you tell your ex that you are pregnant?

[emilytr]

2 weeks ago I ended things. Dated for 2 years married for 4 Today I found out I’m pregnant . We talk but only about our son. I do not want to get back with him and I also don’t want to say anything to him. The only reason why it’s being considered is because I have really bad nausea. I work 2 jobs moved away from family years ago. I have friends that I’m positive would help if I needed it. Am I going about this the wrong way?

the reason why I left was because of the constant arguing, him putting everything before us and I got tired.

Deal with your uterus, leave everyone else’s alone.

Your GP can prescribe tablets for the nausea. They are meant to be safe but if you do want to continue with the pregnancy, you may not want to risk it.

I wouldn't either way because if I wasn't continuing the relationship I wouldn't want him involved or thinking he has any sort of say.

You are entitled to your opinion, but the OP isn't asking for advice on this so you are way way way out of line, and given what the OP is going through, downright cruel.

I didn't know that there was rule about not mentioning this to men. Is it because it might upset them?

Agree with others, don't tell him. If you plan to terminate it could make him turn very nasty. Sending hugs OP. Xx

Then no, I probably wouldn’t tell him. It would seem easier and less risk of resentment if he would prefer to keep the pregnancy. He could weaponise the information against you.

In your particular situation, I wouldn’t tell him.

You have to weigh up the negative impact of having to carry the responsibility for your own decision alone with having to carry that responsibility plus his reactions and opinions on top of your own.

I really don’t think he’ll add anything positive to the situation. Lean on a close relative or friend who you WILL feel support and care from.

The OP seems to be choosing not to have this child so there is no need to tell him.

You have flu, give yourself some time to decide your next move.

I wouldn't say anything if you are planning to end the pregnancy. If you need any help and need to give a reason, tell him you have gynae issues. Most people who hear that word won't ask for details.

@emilytrsorry if your not keeping the baby then I would sort things then get on with life

No need to tell him in the circumstances. Get it over with asap, hopefully you're early days and can have the tablets. Telling him is another complication you don't need. (My answer would be different if you were choosing to continue.) Make a generic illness excuse for the nausea if you need to but hopefully in a few days it will no longer be an issue.

I terminated an unplanned pregnancy when my marriage was in its death throes. I don’t regret the termination, but I do regret allowing the marriage to continue with endless last chances before finally divorcing.

Wow! I think you win the prize for most insensitive post of the day. Well done 👏

Not your body not your choice, leave off with the guilt trip

I don't think you need to tell him if you will be ending the pregnancy and you are certain that you have no future with him. It would only cause upset. If you think there's any possibility of getting back together and being happy, then he needs to know.

Dependent on your decision @emilytr this may be of use

You've got flu. You're in no fit state to look after your son, but you also don't want him to catch it

Nasty Nelly strikes again.

I wouldn’t tell him if you’re not planning on continuing. It will cause no good and he may use it as ammunition in the divorce or get nasty.

As for an excuse, I’d say ovarian cyst. They caused me nausea and abdominal pain. You would need investigations (mri) ect which would bide you time. You could always say it’s ruptured when you have the procedure hence need him to have dc for a few days to recover.

If you’re going to have a termination, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to tell him. There’s no benefit, and potential for a lot of drama.

If you’re keeping the pregnancy, of course you need to tell him.

In your situation, if your mind is made up, I would act as fast as possible and get meds in the meantime. It’s your business alone at this stage OP. You only talk about it to those who would be understanding and supportive.
Take good care of yourself and good luck.

Life as a single parent can be tough. The more children, the harder it gets.
I would quietly terminate without telling him x

Oh, do one, will you? You've one side of Op's story and straight in with "poor little men" and rules from me. It is an opinion. On a public, anonymous forum. Get a grip, lady (N*O'T an order - a suggestion/opinion for the slow row) :D