Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

[Libbykitty]

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

No, but then the better-off one has to accept that the less-well-off one sets the budget... they can't expect the other person to pay more than they can afford.

Why would you assume that?
OP talks about the motives behind the higher earners logic, which they wouldn't know if it wasn't them.

Well, I can't be the only one to assume that, judging by all the comments, so I have no idea why you're homing in just on my comment!

Because you replied to me 😂😂😂

Actually, you replied to me first on the 11th, saying, "I'm assuming that you realise that OP is the higher earner, right?" Gosh maybe you really do need a holiday, huh 🙄

There you go sweetie, just a gentle reminder, as it seems you are a tad forgetful 😉

I'd say friends planning a joint holiday should expect to split the cost. On that basis they should agree a budget and find something they can both afford.

If the person with more money wanted to, perhaps they could sensitively suggest that they could pay to "upgrade" the agreed trip a bit - a nicer hotel, a suite instead of a shared hotel room, etc. But I don't think it would ever be reasonable for the person with less money to start suggesting or hinting that this might be expected!

ETA: having read a bit more of the thread, if one person was planning to take a trip alone and would have more fun if the other person came along, they should feel free to invite them. How much the second person should contribute would depend on the circumstances. Say one person costs £3000 and adding a second person bumps the cost up to £4500, reasonable arguments could be made for splitting the cost equally (because both will get the same holiday) or 2:1 (because one person was paying out 2/3 of the cost anyway).

The first person could even offer to treat the other person if they wanted to, but that would depend on the relationship and would need to be done very carefully to avoid someone feeling either patronised/insulted or setting up an expectation. Perhaps they could present it along the lines of "I'm paying for the room anyway, but I'd have much more fun if you were there too. You'd be welcome to share the room if you cover the cost of your flights/meals out/spending money/whatever"?

What are you blethering on about?
You said that OP was the lower earners. I simply pointed out that its a reasonable assumption that they are in fact the higher earning and didn't deserve your snide comment. Now you cant let it go, just because you don't want to admit that you were wrong 😂😂😂

Actually, you said they were the higher earner (not that you assumed they were) when you also had no idea if that was the case. Now go and book that holiday you so desperately need. You sound a bit frustrated,

I’ve got a holiday booked, thanks for your concern. I’m not frustrated in the least, I find it highly amusing that you’re so invested in trying to argue that you weren’t “wrong” when it’s patently obvious that you were. 😂😂

part timer is an absolute cheeky fucker to think they should pay less because they’re saving for something. If you’re saving for something don’t go on holiday.

If I was booking a holiday with a friend I would ask their budget/tell them mine and book accordingly. No way would I expect either one of us to pay more than the other.

Lmao Pot kettle springs to mind, You clearly stated the op WAS the higher earner when truth be told you haven't got a clue either. I personally think I've been rather polite compared to you.

Thanks everyone, apologies I should have updated before. I am the person who works full time, I haven't come to a decision on the holiday cost yet as on the one hand I am going anyway and the additional cost for one person is not huge, but on the other hand I am worried about building expectations for the future and also of me feeling resentful. Part timer is saving for home improvements in 2027 so genuine reason for savings.

If you had already decided to go away and had a certain destination/hotel/budget in
mind you need to approach your friend in a way of saying “I’m thinking of going away to X and staying in Y, it’s looking at costing roughly £X amount, would you be interested in coming.”

Or if you don’t have a destination in mind you say “Im looking at going away, how much would your budget be to join me and I’ll see if I can find anything suitable in that price region.”

I’m saving for home improvements too. That means that I don’t go on holiday. Not that I do go on holiday AND expect some other mug to foot the bill.

I’d be rethinking this friendship in your position.

Hi Op did the person suggest they pay less? I think if they were the one who thought of that idea I’d say no. If the idea came from you and you want to offer that arrangement to them kind of be clear that you’re treating them and subtly get across it’s a once off.

I had a friend who worked part time that I used to help out for years because she had kids and I didn’t plus I worked full-time.

But when she started expecting me to pick up the bill at dinner or send her kids birthday money etc I stopped doing it as I felt taken for granted and subsidising her life choices.

Either way it’s best not to do it if it will leave you feeling resentful.

If you are feeling resentful then don’t do it. Not sure why you want to make yourself stressed and miserable for something that is not a necessity.

it’s actually even worse now you had said the friend is saving for home improvements if it was general low wage poverty I could ( and even then it’s still cheeky) maybe say ok, but home improvements suggests something like a new bathroom or kitchen or even re carpeting, if so then you make your sacrifice, stay your carcass at home, continue to save and don’t burden anyone with your ridiculous entitlement

They may well want to do home improvements but that's no reason for you to sub their holidays.

Most, if the money won't stretch to paying for both have to chose one or the other.

😂😂😂 you're hilarious. The OP is the higher earners. It was obvious from the earlier posts. You made an incorrect assumption, and vilified her for it, and cant even own up to your mistake 😂😂😂

So they can afford the holiday, as they are regularly saving money, but they choose to spend it on home improvements, not a holiday. If they want a holiday, they need to release some that money, and delay when they are going to start the home improvements.

Maybe on holiday treat your friend to a meal out or excursion, but the basic cost of the holiday should be 50:50.

Op are you thinking along the line of you are going to x place, friend is welcome to come and pay the difference between single occupancy and double plus transport?

Some of the responses to this are a little weird TBH.

If you worry you'll resent it for some reason then don't make the offer.

But if you're wanting to go on a trip and think "hey, I would probably enjoy this even more with my friend and it would only cost X more for them to come along" then it's also completely fine for you to just ask them to pay that extra cost and their personal expenses. There's nothing wrong with valuing sharing time and experiences with someone over being even-stevens financially. I have people in my life that I do pay most or all expenses when we go out or travel together because at the end of the day I'm far happier doing that than having them say "Ah sorry, that isn't in my budget so I'll have to pass." The key is that I don't resent it and I still feel like they're a net positive in my life and they value me (not my money but me) equally.

Hi, no it would be me paying for the extra for one person

Quite.

OP you need to read this until it sinks in

Well, obviously it wasn't if 90% of people commenting thought the same, the op didn't state she was the higher earner when I first responded to her post. I wasn't the only one who commented, saying she was out of order. You just decided to home in on my comment, obviously, because you get off on drama. No doubt you'll reply to this comment because you have nothing better to do..repeating the same things like a broken record and overusing the same emojis. But I, for one, have better things to do than carry on replying to a Troll, so I am going to be the better person and let you get on with trolling the next person on the next thread.