Tell me your positive experiences on dating apps. I'm beginning to thinks it's all a con!

[RoseWineLover]

I'm on 2 dating apps and feeling absolutely deflated! I like guys, I message guys and I get nothing back!
I always reply to guys who message me saying thanks but no thanks. I think its rude not to acknowledge them when someone has reached out to you. I've been blocked (what an over the top reaction that was after one message!) and ignored numerous times! It's absolutely brutal out there! Is it worth continuing? If you've been OLD how long did you do it for before you called it a day? And if you were successful, HOW??

I was 31 when my now husband messaged me on match. I too was thinking dating was becoming draining and depressing! Advice: only use paid sites, more serious users. Unless really not interested give someone a chance maybe? My husband lived far away but we moved in together after quite a short time and travelling was quite romantic. Good luck, be happy and positive!

I met my husband on tinder nine years ago. We now have two kids as well. I'd say a big thing is being strict with your search area - I didn't want any form of long distance relationship, so it was a 40 mins drive limit. Good luck!

It's usually the photos I'm afraid. Men will ignore anyone with poor/few photos regardless of how interesting you might be.

I met mine on Match - we both paid - and we’ve been together 11 years. It’s a numbers game. Cast your net wide and freely, don’t get overinvested, meet quickly and move on fast if it doesn’t feel right. Treat dating as the chance to meet someone for a coffee/drink that you wouldn’t have met otherwise.

I do think you need to go in with no expectations and a sense of detachment (which I have learnt the hard way). I’m not on the apps constantly as sometimes I need a break, as it can be a bit soul destroying. I’ve met some decent people but still single so I’m probably not the positive story you are after 😂

@Helpaladyoutplease thank you. I'm so pleased it worked out for you.
@Whizzingwhippet love that you found your husband. My search radius is about the same as you recommended.
@Summerhillsquare I've got 6 photos on. I do have really short hair and wonder if that puts men off 🤔

I'm on 2 paid sights, one of which has been a complete waste of money. I'm forever being told that I've 'seen everyone for today'

The second one is a lot more active which is great but all my 'likes' are miles away!!

@MayaPinion I'm open meeting anyone if they'd just message back 😂
@iamnotalemon that's exactly how I'd describe it 'soul destroying' I reckon I'm destined for a life of singledom 🙈

2 of my sisters met their husbands on OLD! Keep going girl, there is hope 💪

I’m on a few of the apps and would say I’ve had more luck on Tinder and at least you are only matched with people when it’s a mutual swipe. Sadly, you will get unmatched or ghosted and you do need a thick skin. I don’t have a thick skin but learning. Also, don’t invest too much time on the apps, try and meet sooner rather than later (assuming you are comfortable to) and beware of the love bombers and catfish.

Reading all that back, think I’ve put myself off again 😂

Given you are on 2 sites and I’m going off piste here, are you aware that dating sites are owned by several, usually American organisations? So you might want to look up the respective owners because you might be paying the same organisation twice for the same thing under a different wrapper.

Meanwhile OLD is soul destroying, requiring a tough exterior. In my experience it’s hugely changed over the last 12 years so certainly, in my (sad) experience, not for the faint hearted. It’s like a lot of life in general, rude, lying, misleading, chauvinistic and controlling! There are some gooduns but it’s defo’ needle in haystack.
Good luck OP. It’s a massive learning curve.

Give this podcast episode a listen:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dating-intentionally/id1645453880?i=1000743490111

I've found that at my age (55) men who message me are way older (some say they are similar age but have either had really bloody hard lives or are lying). I joined before Christmas after 10 years single and deleted my account yesterday. Would rather be single.

Ok. Granted it was 8 years ago but I met DP on a dating site and we’ve been together for 8 years (I’m sure you could have worked that out). Mind you I met some completel twats on there before I met him.

I met my partner after about three weeks, but I treated it like a job. I paid for the subscription, set aside 2 hours each day for swiping, made sure I messaged every match.

I was brutal in terms of who I selected. Anything that I didn't want to tolerate in a relationship I wouldnt give a chance, just delete and move on. That might be something major like having kids or something really minor or trivial like using "u" instead of you, or just replying to a message with "Hey".

I've had two relationships resulting in online dating. The first lasted 5 years but ended as he struggled to bond with my kids.

The second was a bit different, we chatted on Match but had then both deleted our profiles ( both fed up of the constant crap) but then we bumped into each other at the gym (recognised each other).

We've been together for over 11 years now.

I met some total weirdos and some nice guys too but who there was just no connection.

Its just luck.

I met my husband on a popular dating app. Less than 48 hours on it, I knew I’d found my person. It can happen, I wouldn’t give up yet.

@PashaMinaMio thanks for the advice there. I wasn't aware of that.
It's definitely not for the faint hearted. I never wanted to do it in the first place, but after 6 years on my own and not really going out its kind of a last resort!

I met DP on bumble. He's one in a billion, wonderful bloke.
I'd go with, meet up quickly, look for guys with honesty and character in their profiles, not the hottest. Pictures that show who they are, not their abs. People that have filled in their profile properly.

You're not looking to catch as many dish as possible. You're looking to catch that ONE fish. All the others not biting is a good thing, the weeds are weeding themselves out.

I was on a few different dating apps for a year before I met my current partner on Tinder. I agree, most are terrible really and I was starting to lose faith by that time I matched with my partner but there are a few good ones out there if you can find them! Good luck

Met my husband over 5 years ago, married for just over a year now. I tried lots of the dating apps but ended up meeting him on Facebook dating (not sure if that's still a thing). Good luck it's not fun and I deleted and rejoined a number of times but got there in the end

I was last on dating apps in 2024 for a few months. Sorry no “happily ever after” here but I met three good guys from that spell. One I only had one date with, it was a good date and he was a lovely guy but not for me. Still have him on Instagram and he’s in a relationship now. One I had a lot of chemistry with and we had fun for a bit but we weren’t really compatible for more - no hard feelings or anything, great guy just not for me. Last guy I was seeing for a month or two, loved everything about him but zero sexual chemistry on my part. Genuinely a wonderful man though hence why I gave it some time. Couldn’t really be bothered dating after that, I quite like being single so I’ve not dated in over a year. There were some odd folk but I didn’t give them the time of day or any headspace. I think not getting overly invested is the way forward and just staying lighthearted about it. I liked Tinder the best and I generally didn’t message first. I know lots of people who’ve met their husbands/long term partners on OLD and they’re all great guys. Good luck OP!

I've just deleted hinge and bumble. Been single for 9 years and found OLD soul destroying. Not sure how we are meant to meet someone. I'm 52

I was 33 and DP was 39 when we met on Hinge. We used it because we were just not meeting people in real life!

Had it a few weeks before we matched. We chatted in the app, met up, and the rest is history!

He was a massive breath of fresh air - really genuine and talkative, and we just got on. We have the same values, food tastes, have artistic interests (though not the same ones), and love walking. And most of all he’s a lovely, kind, wonderful man, and he actually likes me.

You have to be prepared to look past certain things though. For example, mumsnet will warn you off men without jobs or
homes (rightly so in many cases) but my DP was getting back on his feet (literally) after an injury and operation. He was rebuilding his life, so to speak. He has turned out to be incredibly hardworking so I’m fortunate!

We have a daughter, and split the parental leave 6 months each. He does the food shopping and cooks. He’s frugal and generous and loves the little things. He’s a total diamond.

Met my husband on match 12 years ago I met some really lovely people and often wonder if they got their happy ending. There are some jaw dropping eye opening weirdos out there though for sure. I don’t think I could bother if it came to it again!

Thank you so much for commeting everyone. It's heartwarming to hear that it does work for some folk.

@EveningSpread I'm on Hinge and I've found it so disappointing and it cost me nearly £100 for 3 months and I can count on one hand the 'likes' I've had.
Your husband sounds an absolute diamond 💎