Would you go 12 hours away, pregnant in the snow? How late in pregnancy would you travel?

[Mariaava]

Hello, I'm trying to figure it if I've made a mistake and if I'm just paranoid.

How late in pregnancy would you travel to a place 12 hours away? Would snow change that?

Longer story:

My family were all planning on getting together for Christmas. DB chose a place in the very north west of Scotland, despite us all being from the south west england. He is right in that our family all live in "cosy period" properties, and so couldn't host and his wife wanted to see snow for Christmas.

DB is in army so has been living abroad with his wife, and their two kids, so I don't get to see them much so I was really looking forward to it, as was my dm and df and the whole assorted family

We were however going through ivf (unknown to my family) when this was discussed. I should have probably have told them this but after all the emotions that go with it, I just didn't. Luckily it was successful and I'm now due in the end of feb.

I decided that travelling to a place 12 hours away from home probably wouldn't be a thing at pregnant. I was pretty concerned about snow and getting stuck there. My family all thought this was pretty feeble, My DB has lived in snowy countries alot so didn't understand my snow worries.

I think they got caught in a dilemma of going without me or not so DB cancelled the whole thing, DPs didn't get to see GC for Christmas and were very disappointed.

Obviously nothing happened, I'm here still firmly pregnant, and that area was mild snow with no transport issues so it does feel like I over reacted. I suppose the journey would have been uncomfortable, and spending all that time cooped together in the rain would have probably prompted a fall out.

I suspected that scottish snow wasn't like my snow! I'd of probably done it in reverse into Dorset snow or London snow

Also a 12h journey when you are 7 months pregnant is quite tough, even if broken up! And then driving back again! You made the right decision.

we travelled 4 and a half hours from home when i was 31 weeks pregnant. sod’s law i went into labour and gave birth to dc2. it was a whole palaver frankly being so far from home with a baby in special care.

Out of interest how did they get you home? I wondered if id then have to make my own way back from Inverness with a premie!

I realise that won't help with people I'm assuming I'm an anxious wreck. More of a planner!

Definitely not unreasonable.

You couldn't predict how your pregnancy would play out at the time you made them aware, you gave them plenty of advance warning and they chose to cancel.

I'm also in rural Scotland (on an island) and have had to do an emergency helicopter transfer during complications in a previous pregnancy. It's scary enough when something is going wrong, without being miles away from home.

Up north they get serious snow and I wouldn't want to be out in it in an unfamiliar area, let alone being pregnant and worried too. You made the right call.

The hospital would arrange transport if baby was to be transferred to another hospital. Not sure if that would include you or you would have to make your own way there. If baby had been discharged then transport would be up to you. Also, if baby came early and couldn't be transferred or discharged yet, you would need to find accommodation near the hospital until they were (if there wasn't a Ronald McDonald house or similar).

For what it's worth, I live in Scotland, have had multiple babies and wouldn't even travel one hour over the border to England after around 22 weeks pregnant and that wasn't even in the snow 😂

they didn’t. we stayed until dc was ready for discharge which was about 3ish weeks later. luckily she was just a ‘feeder and grower’ with no complications but like i say it was a palaver.

@MariaavaI think you’re justified. In a similar situation I stayed at home.

I live in W Yorks and didn’t go to my bother’s wedding in Cornwall when I was 36 weeks pregnant. Apart from anything else, I was t that comfortable sitting in the car for more than about 20 mins! DBro also lives about an hour from the nearest hospital, and I didn’t want to be stuck 350 miles from home with an ill baby if he came early! Or have a long journey home if I had a C-section.

As it happened, DS came 36+5, the day after we would have got back, I had a c section and we were in hospital for a week. I’m so glad we were at home.

I think you’ve been a bit precious newborn. Women living in Caithness at 32 weeks pregnant who have a normal pregnancy are not asked to travel to Wick (the nearest MLU) for the last 8 weeks of pregnancy, and nor are they asked to sit in Inverness and wait either.

I think it shows your lack of awareness of rural life. We do have pregnant women in highland Scotland. A phonecall to the nearest maternity unit for advice and reassurance on what would happen if you needed to access services should have been part of your reasoning.

I wouldn’t have gone as I wouldn’t do that journey even not pregnant!! But I would have made sure they didn’t cancel it. It’s a shame they all missed out.

I'm not sure what this means. When I looked all I could see were low risk birthing units (where I am you aren't classed as a low risk birth at 32 weeks) eg at fort william. Obviously I'm not proclaiming to be an expert in the Scottish maternity system!

If you went into labour at say 32 weeks near Skye where would you go?

Totally up to you whether or not you chose to travel. That is FAR and I am not sure I would have been up for it at 7 months. But why didn’t the rest of them go ahead and meet up? Were you clear that your decision was made to protect your health and that you would not feel left out if they went ahead without you?

Now the rest of the family are taking the huff with you because you ruined SILs dream of a white Christmas? Pretty ridiculous. Grandparents should have made the effort to get together with the GC. Not sure how this is your fault.

She hasn't put strain on already underfunded and underesourced services at a challenging time of year.

Not precious at all. Sensible.

www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/politics/john-swinney-challenged-make-terrifying-34324966

I know a woman who was airlifted from the Hebrides while 24 weeks pregnant with twins. They were born during the flight! All are well now, but my god.

I went on a four hour train at 30-ish weeks and it was hellishly uncomfortable! I spent the whole trip dreading the return journey (which was actually even worse!) So I think it would be based on my comfort levels.

I wouldn’t want to be 12 hours from home after about 34/35 weeks. The snow wouldn’t matter. But more I’d just rather stick close to home then. My first came naturally and fairly quickly at 37 weeks, so my instinct would be to settle in and not be dealing with the hassle of being away and probably entertaining family at that stage.

That's a bloody long way, I'm not sure I'd want to do it even if I wasn't pregnant! But I think you're right to be concerned about travel if heavy snow is possible and being far from a hospital. Surely if getting you all together was the most important thing, you could all have met up closer to home? That's more important than his wife wanting to see snow!

Depends on lots of factors, between 19 and 30 weeks I had lots of bleeds due to placenta previa and was told not to travel unless necessary and to stay within an hour of a hospital at all times. So I wouldn't have gone anywhere. However I was physically fine and after did an 8 hour trip at 35 weeks just fine.

My friend was pregnant at the same time and went on a babymoon at 25 weeks abroad happily but was really struggling at 35 weeks with back and hip pain and couldn't walk without crutches and had gallbladder issues.

No two pregnancies are the same and I wouldn't have been committing to a third trimester 12 hour trip early on. If others were still going to go irregardless I'd have been a 'I'll come depending on how its going nearer the time" but no way would I firmly accept.

I live in the south of Scotland and am
not pregnant.

I wouldn’t be travelling to the north just now. The roads are treacherous. Many of the snow gates are closed and areas impassable.

You go to Inverness to give birth which is 3.5 to 4 hours from
skye.

but local women are asked to stay mear
inverness close to their due dates

You are pregnant in your third trimester and your comfort and wellbeing is paramount. Don't let others tell you it isn't.

But women living and giving birth in the far north of Scotland do not typically have to travel 12 hours with a newborn to the south of England, do they?

I think you get a free pass to be a bit over anxious in a first (and hard won) pregnancy. I wouldn't have fancied the uncertainty of a rural, snowy location and a long drive at 7 months. The cancellation is not your fault - your family could have been a bit more accommodating I think.

I think for me, it would depend where the nearest hospital was. Saying it’s ‘12 hours away’ probably isn’t a reasonable representation because I doubt a hospital would be 12 hours away.

I personally wouldn’t want to be sitting in a car for a long journey after 30 weeks, with dd I was huge and sitting in the car for up to an hour was comfortable never mind for hours more than that.

You’ve done nothing precious/feeble/unreasonable. Who wants to make that kind of journey on their precious Xmas few days off anyway, pregnancy or not? And of course sitting in a car for 12 hours is a daft idea at 32 weeks (if it’s a life and death situation then of course you’d manage but this was optional and supposed to be fun!).

Should have relocated to a more convenient location as the point was to all get together - who cares where. Don’t feel bad or like you overreacted, anyone kind or with empathy would understand.