Would you go 12 hours away, pregnant in the snow? How late in pregnancy would you travel?

[Mariaava]

Hello, I'm trying to figure it if I've made a mistake and if I'm just paranoid.

How late in pregnancy would you travel to a place 12 hours away? Would snow change that?

Longer story:

My family were all planning on getting together for Christmas. DB chose a place in the very north west of Scotland, despite us all being from the south west england. He is right in that our family all live in "cosy period" properties, and so couldn't host and his wife wanted to see snow for Christmas.

DB is in army so has been living abroad with his wife, and their two kids, so I don't get to see them much so I was really looking forward to it, as was my dm and df and the whole assorted family

We were however going through ivf (unknown to my family) when this was discussed. I should have probably have told them this but after all the emotions that go with it, I just didn't. Luckily it was successful and I'm now due in the end of feb.

I decided that travelling to a place 12 hours away from home probably wouldn't be a thing at pregnant. I was pretty concerned about snow and getting stuck there. My family all thought this was pretty feeble, My DB has lived in snowy countries alot so didn't understand my snow worries.

I think they got caught in a dilemma of going without me or not so DB cancelled the whole thing, DPs didn't get to see GC for Christmas and were very disappointed.

Obviously nothing happened, I'm here still firmly pregnant, and that area was mild snow with no transport issues so it does feel like I over reacted. I suppose the journey would have been uncomfortable, and spending all that time cooped together in the rain would have probably prompted a fall out.

Well I don’t think you did anything wrong. Your choice whether you decided to go or not (given any co sequences would have been yours and only yours, you’re the only one who gets a say), and you gave them plenty of notice. It’s not like the rest of the family couldn’t have met up somewhere else, there was loads of time to find a solution. If they’re in a huff it’s because SIL didn’t want to give up the chance of seeing snow. That’s between her, her DH and the rest of the family. You made a decision, communicated it with plenty of time to go. Totally reasonable.

And the return journey. My bladder would not have stood it. DH would have moaned about frequent stops.

It’s pointless to compare how locals would cope in the situation compared to a holidaymaker. It’s completely different when you know the area, know the roads, know who to call, have a suitable car and have an actual plan for adverse weather or emergencies. The holidaymakers are just clueless to all of it (no offence to OP). Comparing the UK to Canada is also pointless - surprise surprise a country that gets a lot of snow is used to it.

You’re not wrong to have cancelled. You did it months ago, and you couldn’t have predicted how bad or not the snow would be so you have to make the decision based on do you want to be in that location heavily pregnant? You decided no.

tbe people being unreasonable are your brother / family who seemingly decided it was remote Scotland or nothing to have a extended family Christmas.
there were a wealth of other options that could have been chosen, including him
Still your parents still going without you.

oh and all the people saying ‘what an over reaction / UK doesn’t get proper snow / try being in Germany or Canada’.
are you all so clueless about your own infrastructure to understand that as you all “get proper snow” that your country is better equipped to clear roads etc and ours isn’t?
Try reading a book

I did a lengthy car/ ferry holiday at 26 weeks and that was uncomfortable. Having the middle third on a boat was much better than entire time in the car would be. I turned out to have SPD, but the weight of the bump and tiredness levels alone weren't fun.

Pregnancy is unpredictable. Some women sail through business as usual until birth, but many don't and there's no guarentees. It's reasonable to feel cagey about going away from things like access to health care by the third trimester. On that scale of journey, the chance of delays is high. The weather can very easily be an issue as it is this weekend. It's luck that Christmas weather was problem-free, but that wasn't predictable with significant notice.

Planning to meet in one of the least accessible parts of the country at the time of year with least predictable weather is a strategy that can go wrong easily.

I went to India and Spain for a few weeks during both my pregnancies, I am a midwife. I wouldn’t travel after 35 weeks pregnant or if I had a serious concern (placenta previa, risk of prematurity, ongoing bleeding, etc). Also would want a hospital within 1h reach and I did get travel insurance. But everyone is different and the fact you had ivf most likely increases your anxiety. I had three miscarriages before my pregnancies so I understand.

Snow in the U.K. is massively variable. I grew up in the North East of Scotland any my family still live rurally in the area. It is not uncommon for them to have several feet of snow in the winter and for roads to be closed. But, as it doesn’t happen for months and months, obviously the local authorities don’t have a massive number of snow ploughs sitting waiting for it so they just have to accept they will be stuck for days until it’s sorted. We don’t have the infrastructure, winter tyres are massively expensive, difficult to store, and not worth having for a few weeks of snow. Anyone driving an SUV in the U.K. is lambasted for it, but then we complain cars can’t cope with snow.

But, snow or not, there is no world where I would have made that journey at 32 weeks pregnant. Life is apparently uncomfortable enough in the third trimester ( I only made it to 29 weeks!). 12 hours in a car (presumably longer if stopping every 5 minutes to pee) sounds like torture.

Anyone in labour in Wick will be getting airlifted to Inverness today. Today the roads are closed past Inverness towards Wick. Police are stopping people leaving Wick.

If you were in the north west and not the north east you'd have had a tricky ambulance ride to Raigmore (Inverness) too. People completely misunderestimate the distances involved and the infrastructure which is sadly lacking in the highlands.

Yes Christmas was fine but you didn't know that. Today/yesterday it is very much not fine.

Where in Scotland?

I would have gone and did travel often until around 37 weeks.

Realistically, at any stage of pregnancy you need to know where the local hospitals are to you just in case something happens or you need reassurance.

YANBU. They chose to cancel their plans so that’s on them.

Scottish women giving birth at 32 weeks in Caithness must travel to Inverness, a 2 hour plus journey on not the best road. It is a huge issue even without the added challenge of the road being closed, snow gates closed and the trains all off.

Our MSP has consistently raised the lack of maternity provisional with the government to no avail.

There is no care available in Caithness for premature babies.

I don't think YABU. I don't get why DB chose a destination absolutely miles away when everyone lives at the other end of the country and expected everyone to spend 12 hours driving up in winter. He should have chosen a destination a bit closer to home which would have meant everyone could have gone.

North Scotland can be absolutely brutal in the winter especially if there is heavy snow and I wouldn't want to be worrying about access to a hospital if anything went wrong with your pregnancy while you were there.

However you probably should have told them a lot sooner that you might not be able to go rather than a bit last minute.

It really depends where in the north west?
In the vicinity of Fort William or Oban I’d be quite happy at that stage but somewhere like Ardnamurchan or Lochinver would be a no.

The 12 hour drive would be more of an issue and I’d probably only do it if I could split it into two days

It does seem silly that the whole things been cancelled because one person didn’t want to go though

Yep. We just don’t have the infrastructure to support those living rurally, snow or not!

Absolutely none taken!
I completely agree. I've got limited experience in proper snow. I'm fine in the sprinkling of it we get down here, still trudge to work etc.

But we've got limited experience of snow driving and a car you'd not pick for the situation!

I'm 100 percent sure if I lived there id be fine

I absolutely hate snow. Grew up in the South Wales valleys. Horrible evil dangerous stuff. I also got pre-eclampsia and was rushed to hospital at 36 weeks. And you would have been stuck in Scotland for a while as travelling 12 hours in a car with a newborn baby would be very tricky. You did the right thing OP.

This was more worry. And the worry it was a bit of a self inflicted situation for me.

Obviously if you live there then you have no other option, but I would have options and it feels like a waste of resources made for a local community rather than for a tourist

I think the smaller hospitals like wick stuff would have transferred me anyway because id be under 34 weeks and they are mostly low risk units but by helicopter seems less than ideal!

Exactly. You did the right thing.

You’re not unreasonable. We normally fly to Inverness plus a 1h drive to the highlands to see in laws for Xmas, so a considerably easier journey. But I was due in February and we chose not to go - I didn’t want to be wobbling on ice at 7/8 months, trying to get boots on every time I went out was a nightmare, so I knew I would be indoors for the whole period. And I didn’t want to rely on Raigmore hospital in case something went wrong. I realise that many women are pregnant and give birth in the highlands all the time, but it was about my own comfort level - of all the times to listen to your body and to do what you want, pregnancy is it. For what it’s worth we also had Xmas lunch in early December with my family so I wouldn’t have to do the 2h drive in late December - I was pretty uncomfortable in the car by that point. I’m happy with my choices. Please don’t look back and worry about decisions you made. Your family could easily have gone without you act they chose not to.

I had an emergency pre-eclampsia admission to hospital at 7 months and didn’t leave until I gave birth. I went from feeling fine to being dangerously ill quite rapidly.

You did the sensible thing. That was a long journey to do that pregnant. Yes many women may have powered through but that doesn’t mean all should and frankly those that do indirectly put pressure on women with difficult pregnancies to try and continue to meet other people’s expectations for what they should do.

In these situations you can only trust your own assumptions of your comfort zone and perceived risk level tbh. It wasn't your choice they cancelled the whole thing. You did what you felt was right for you with the info/feelings you had at the time.

I travelled from the south west to Scotland for work at 34 weeks pregnant with one pregnancy and was signed off work at 30 weeks with another so it's super hard to answer on what is right or wrong for each individual pregnancy!

Our airlines definitely let you fly post 28 weeks.

I'm sure scottish women get on fine (although a quick Google showed lots of petitions and stuff about a lack of maternity care)

Its about deliberately putting myself at 32 weeks pregnant in a rural community hours away from a hospital with a high chance of snow. I'm absolutely sure that locals wouldn't leave, but alas I am a southerner with a regular car and no experience of snow driving, or reliant on a public transport system that famously shuts at the mention of snow

Currently have 3ft snow drifts on my track. Also all roads closed around here due to drifting snow. It’s drifting faster than the farmers can clear it. Rural Scotland get plenty of real snow.

Came to say the same..... I really struggled to sit in the car for an hour by the time I was 7mth
Not so much the snow etc but more the uncomfortable journey for such a long time