Dh won’t ice skate

[Alwayseatingpringles]

Dd, 7 desperate to go ice skating (has only done it when little on a kids ice rink, holding onto one of the penguin things.
Now she’s a little older, there’s a bigger rink nearby at Christmas. She always asks Dh to go with her and he says no.
i do so many things with Dd, I don’t want to
ice skate, but I feel bad for Dd
Should she try on her own and we watch? I know she would probably need help, all I see is dads helping their kids

Would your Dh do it?

Aibu?

My niece ended up competing in figure skating as a teen, my DSis and BIL drove her all over the country to compete and spent a fortune on lessons. But neither of them ever went on the ice with her after the 1st family visit, they hated it and she obviously loved it.
I refused to take either of my sons as I have no ability to balance at all, parents who skate around the edge gripping the side for grim death are no use for kids. I did manage to slip on a frozen pavement 2 winters ago and cracked 4 ribs so I think my fear of ice skating was justified.

Maybe in private school? Not in any state school I've ever known

I won’t ice skate either. I’m terrified of it. My neighbour had her finger skated over and lost the end of it and a mangled nail. DS wanted to do skating lessons to achieve his Cubs’ badge, which was fine. He knows I will never go near the ice.

If your DH doesn’t want to skate, he shouldn’t have to?

"we have ice rinks near us at Christmas"
So these are temporary rinks rather than permanent ones? My experience of temporary rinks are that they aren't actually ice at all, but some sort of plastic sheeting, and I found them absolutely rubbish to skate on (used to do a bit of skating as a child).

Yes she's "desperate to go ice skating", but it might not be ice skating and it might put her off.

YANBU if you do everything else with her but if her dad isn't doing anything with her I'd tell him to pick something else if it's not ice skating. It shouldn't all be on you, and that includes guilt on this.

Basically you are scared to do it and feel guilty for letting your DD down and so you are outsourcing those uncomfortable feelings on to your DH.

His desire not to go ice skating is as valid as yours. I can just about skate well enough to take the DC around safely when they were younger. DH really struggled as he had never skated at all as a child.

Get her some lessons - I caused problems skating with my child at the beginning because they'd try and hold onto me and I'd fall over...

Now we've both done the lessons. I'm now starting adult skating lessons on Monday evenings! I'm going to skate myself skinny.

Where do you live that children get ice skating lessons??

If neither DH nor I wanted to, but our DS was desperate, we'd probably BOTH end up going on the ice! (And truth be told, we'd probably end up having a lot of fun!).

Could you ask around her friends’ mums and see if you could arrange it as a play date with their families? You could always go and hold the coats/watch and take photos etc if that was easier, but there’d be an adult on the ice with her who knew what he or she was doing. My friend and I usually arrange a trip where we go with our girls and I go on the ice with them because I love it and am competent to help a younger skater (though I always wonder if I’m crazy at the start of the session!) and she can’t/doesn’t want to. She gets the hot chocolates in for when we get off the ice.
tbf if your DH can’t skate he’d be no help to your DD anyway, probably more of a liability! When they’re starting and at that age you need someone who can maintain their own balance whilst someone else is pulling at them.

Maybe he doesn’t want to shove blades on his feet and try and stand on ice. It’s bloody dangerous. I have done it twice and fell down very hard - never again.

Last time we took our 7 year old and 9 year old neither of them could go forwards with a skate aid and you're not allowed to take a chair on the ice 😆 they needed to hold someone's hand to get moving or at least have someone push the bloody penguin

Temporary ice rinks use ice not plastic 🤨

I've been in one that used plastic. I was gutted.

No, mine wouldn't. He had a tooth knocked out during an ice skating accident so he would never go again :-(

They were offered at ours every Wednesday afternoon at Oxford Ice Rink -years ago now though! At an extra cost to parents obviously.

Say no because neither you nor dad can skate and not to ask again.

He prefers not to either.
When I was a kid I was an ice skater I did lessons and performances but then one day I got over it instantly and could never do it again. The thought of it to this day (and it was over 30 years ago) makes me cringe.
I never took my kids because I couldn't face it again. They're all ok.

But if he really doesn't want to he has his own reasons and you don't want to then find another solution. The thread is pointless. Be different if you couldn't for whatever reason but you just plain don't want to because you "do everything else".

I was a competitive figure skater for 12 years. I know how to skate and despite that I was hesitant to take my children ice skating at a public skate and signed them up for lessons instead. It is really easy to hurt yourself and if you aren't steady then you can hurt your child easily as well. It can be dangerous and head injuries are very common, even for newbies.

You can't criticise him if you won't do it. I don't blame him tbh it's definitely not for everyone

Well you obviously can’t feel that sad….or you would take her yourself🙄

It sounds like he doesn't skate and therefore doesn't feel like he has anything to offer her regarding how to skate. I'd start by dividing up the activities better between you both and either get her a short course of lessons and/or you take her skating next winter.

I never went ice skating as a kid but we did it quite a bit as a teenager as we hung out at the ice rink. I'm sure she'll be hanging out at the Christmas ice rink with her friends in due course, no parents required.

What?

i don’t know any school, private or state, that every child would get ice skating lessons as the norm.

maybe in Canada?

uk there are very few rinks - a quick google suggests their are only around 50 permanent ice rinks in the Uk. Considering there are over 4000 swimming pools, yet it’s still a struggle to get children a term of lessons, why on earth would you think it’s normal to get ice skating lessons at school?

Good point, that plastic "ice" is really shit to skate on

I can imagine. But the two winter ice rinks near me are both definitely ice.