Dh won’t ice skate

[Alwayseatingpringles]

Dd, 7 desperate to go ice skating (has only done it when little on a kids ice rink, holding onto one of the penguin things.
Now she’s a little older, there’s a bigger rink nearby at Christmas. She always asks Dh to go with her and he says no.
i do so many things with Dd, I don’t want to
ice skate, but I feel bad for Dd
Should she try on her own and we watch? I know she would probably need help, all I see is dads helping their kids

Would your Dh do it?

Aibu?

You can't take a young child ice skating if you can't skate yourself. Otherwise they're not going to be confident going on the ice themselves, and your own lack of balance could cause them to fall.

Can he skate comfortably? If not, give him a break. He's not failing as a father.

He should definitely do some things with her, but if he can't ice skate it's fine for him to say no to it, just like you are saying no yourself. He should definitely find something that they can do together though.

I'm exactly the same. Penguins all the way here.

I push my grumbling husband to do many things he doesn’t want to do with our child. He bemoans his lack of bond, yet never wants to go outside of his comfort zone.

I still wouldn’t push ice skating. At our age, it’s something that could easily result in a serious injury for someone who isn’t comfortable. That is why I won’t skate anymore, even though I used to love ice skating. My balance just isn’t what it used to be and I don’t heal as fast anymore.

Then do it yourself if makes you so sad and push DH to do other stuff - you know the stuff that doesn’t have a high chance of breaking an arm or leg.
No way would you get me ice skating!

I am OK at ice skating and took my DDs last Feb half term. I was holding my 9 year olds hand and tried to hold her up as she slipped. I ended up in hospital with a fractured skull and brain bleed. So I wouldn't recommend either of you take her if you are not confident yourself and don't want to be there!

My OH and I have both been skating a few times and neither of us is any better than the other.
Both fall over (often) and a friend lost a finger tip (sure you can guess how😲).
Would not volunteer to do it again.

Lessons all the way.👍

Do you actually do all of the other activities with her, or do you take her to them? What are these many activities that you do together?

Let me guess -OP does all the other “mother-daughter” stuff because she wants to. Bet you don’t push your DH to go on your place on those do you?

Oh dear, sorry that made me laugh 😂 only because I'd do something similar.

Ok so he takes on one or two of the other activities so you can take DD instead? Or if you feel that bad you just suck it up?

I took a 7 year old and 3 year old by myself last year (I am female) and it was fine! Why do you need a man to do it?

I’m so sorry @tinytemper66 but this made me laugh 🙈 I hope you are fully recovered now!

I wouldn’t either. I was good as a teen but after breaking an ankle the thought of it terrifies me now. My parents never would have taken me and my first time on the ice was by myself. I took my son to an ice skating party when he was about 9, no adult for him to hold on to but an instructor was there with about 8 kids. He was fine with a penguin and was able to get around independently by the end of it. Give it a year or two or pay for lessons

My DH has taken our DDs (he’s actually quite good!)
But I wouldn’t because if I fell I know I’d be in pain for ages as I have hip issues.
Could she go with a friend while you watch, or is there a class she could do?

If your DH is a lazy parent and won’t do anything with DC ice skating is the least of your worries. Him taking her ice skating isn’t going to solve that issue. And if neither of you want to do it then I don’t think it should automatically fall to him.

Why is it up to Dad? I did it with my kids despite not loving it.

I had to skate over my entirely iced up front drive this afternoon to get the bins in and found it to be as scary as fuck. Why anyone would willingly choose to do that and even part with money is beyond me.

Find your nearest permanent rink and get lessons for your DD. Whilst initially it might be a bit boring it will open up being able to go with her mates without you and you not being terrified she’ll come back battered and bruised every week. I have skated all my life and there’s nothing more terrifying than watching an adult with no idea trying to help a kid with no idea get round with just the aid of a penguin, which from watching adults use them, promote terrible skating stance. A could have series of lessons and she will be away. Can always stop them when it gets to splitting figure/jumps or hockey but certainly do the basics (used to be about level 5 when I learned but that was over 30 years ago, so skate forwards, backwards, stop both sides, crossovers both ways, various turns and some pivoting skills, but not as far as proper ‘spins’)

This clearly has to do with you resenting how little you think he does.

I wouldn’t do it either. Book a lesson. Can dh do some of the other activities?

Could he do one of the ‘special things’ you already do with her that you don’t enjoy so that you can then do the ice skating if he’s not keen on skating specifically?

Just take her yourself, and tell DH he's responsible for X activity instead - if he doesn't want to he can do ice skating.

He needs to do some other activities.

ice skating being the hill to die on isn’t it though, dd will survive not going, it’s a tough sell because of the possibility of injury, but he has to do other stuff

You haven’t said whether or not he can skate. Surely that’s fundamental to this situation?

I didn't want to do it either, but I did this year for my DC's sake. We were slow and cautious and it was fine in the end.