Dh won’t ice skate

[Alwayseatingpringles]

Dd, 7 desperate to go ice skating (has only done it when little on a kids ice rink, holding onto one of the penguin things.
Now she’s a little older, there’s a bigger rink nearby at Christmas. She always asks Dh to go with her and he says no.
i do so many things with Dd, I don’t want to
ice skate, but I feel bad for Dd
Should she try on her own and we watch? I know she would probably need help, all I see is dads helping their kids

Would your Dh do it?

Aibu?

What is even the point of this prick? Do you do everything in the house as well?

If yes, leave the dick head.

Skating on a safe bit of open ice is the best way to learn, because you have nothing to hold on to - so you discover very quickly that the best way to stay upright, at least initially, is to keep moving. I learnt that way and enjoyed it from the start, but I was lucky enough to live somewhere where there were lakes and large ponds that froze very thoroughly.

I think it depends on what the other activities are before you call him a prick and also whether the OP chooses to do all these activities herself (as in taking part, rather than just dropping off).

Yes, if the OP is doing these sorts of things, it's not at all fair to compare all this with actually taking part in a physical activity that the OP's dh might not be able to do well, or at all, and has a real risk of injury.

It's also not right to try and force another adult into doing something.
It's up to the dh and dd to find something they enjoy together and can spend time bonding. It's not up to you OP, to decide what that should be, it might be something you find really boring such as dh and dd going for walks together, it really can be as simple as that. What's important is that they spend some time together.

You can say no to your dd, you don't have to do everything she wants to.

I've never been, and have genuinely no desire to go.

A friend at sixth form went once, badly broke her leg. Another friend went when we were in our 20s, broke her collar bone.

I tried roller derby once when I was in mid-20s, broke my elbow and tailbone.

You couldn't pay me to try ice skating. Absolutely no way.

With regard to your DH, if you don't want to try it, I don't really think you can blame your DH for not wanting to do it either.

Ha, I used to ice skate with my boys. DH absolutely did not want to ice skate ever, which was fair enough.

I'm with anyone who doesn't want to ice skate as I have no sense of balance, and found it awful when I tried to do it with friends etc as a child. Never again!

The thing is from real experience I end up clinging to the side and at the very least falling on my backside with bad bruising and dh has ended up falling awkwardly and breaking a bone whilst kids merrily use the penguins unscathed and adults end up at a&e and weeks of sorting out who drives and does school run etc. Book lessons if you can and don't compromise as ice skating is not 10 pin bowling, cinema or a bit of soft play with lower risk. Do not feel bad for your DD - it could seriously impact a good 6 weeks of your lives at least if it goes wrong!

My daughter does ice skating lessons and has managed to get to Grade 6 without either of us setting foot on the ice once. Sign her up for some lessons. After a few weeks pushing a penguin about she'll get the hang of it no bother.

You dont want to do it but he should? Of course YABU

It's hilarious you expect him to do it because you don't want to. It's not like taking her to the playground is it? Clearly you are both scared to skate.

Don't be so unreasonable and sign her up for a class.

YABU because you won't do it either.
If he doesn't do any other activities with her then he has to shape up and actually start doing something with her but I don't see why it has to be the ice skating if he doesn't want to do it. You should do it and insist on him doing something else with her.

Or book a course of lessons and he takes her to the rink and watches from the side.

Agree with this, you go if he doesn’t want to. I hate ice skating and wouldn’t ever go again. You can find somewhere that offers children’s lessons and you or your husband can just watch!

What about lessons instead?

Ice skated loads in my teens even owned speed skates. Went once with my daughter to one of these winter ice places (not real ice) and broke my coccyx and couldn’t sit down for nearly a year and still get pain two years later so I think standing at the side and watching is probably for the best

I think it's because the ice is all melty and churned up @RunningJumpingClimbingTrees. That sounds so painful.

I've never been on an ice rink in my life but signed my lot up for skating lessons. Didn't take long for them to be skating confidently.

I don’t think you can comment on your OH doing it… or rather not doing it when you won’t either 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I’d try most things for my kids, as would my husband however I will not go on a ferris wheel so husband has to step up for that each time it’s requested! He won’t go on waltzers so I step up for those!

My DH would not do it, because he is likely to fall and break something. However, my DGD lives with us, and I did it (just the once) for her at the age of 68. Why expect your DH to do it if you won't? The fact that you do a lot of other things with your DD is beside the point. You either facilitate it, or don't bother "feeling sad".

My best friend when we were kids had someone skate right across his hand and had to have the fingers reattached. Nothing would get me on a rink. I'm with DH.

Could she go with friends? My parents would never have gone ice skating but our neighbour took me and her son. I loved it, took my own children eventually.

I agree that those temp skating rinks can be bad, the permanent ones are much safer.

Just go with her. How do you think single parents cope? Take the issue up with him separately

If this was any other activity then I would have voted YANBU but ice skating is something that you need to have a basic level of competence to do before you take a child. Kids mostly fall over the first time they skate, or are very unbalanced. Even if the don’t fall they tend to grab on or reach out frantically. Your DH is not being unreasonable in not being comfortable taking her.

Very jealous of being able to skate on lakes and paths! The little kids hockey is chaos. I coach some u10s and some of them are surprisingly good for little ones, I know what you mean about throwing yourself around in the kit. To be fair they don’t seem to grow out of that for a while sometimes!

For all the parents who don’t want to do it, I’ve represented my country on the ice. My dad has had skates on a total of 3 times in the 30+ years I’ve skated. All held up by me as a teenager at club family Xmas socials. My mum, never. Not once. Get the kids learning properly from qualified people with their peer group in terms of age and ability. They will learn faster, you won’t end up in A&E. It’s a win-win.