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Original poster

To think Think 25 is ridiculous and sexist?!

253 replies

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 19:51

Look, this is obviously an emotional post, just a rant really.

Just wanted to get some booze at Tesco at NYE. Got ID'd, didn't have ID (ID on my phone only). So went to off licence instead.

I'm 33 soon and consistently get ID'd. People think it's a compliment and friends even congratulate me for looking young.

A full-grown woman needing permission to spend her own money is absolutely not flattering.

I'd be interested to see if women get ID'd way more than men--I bet they do. I bet it's about 75-25 women-men (who are over 18) who get ID'd.

It's women themselves who like to look young/succumb to the pressure of needing to look young. So we've created this environment where people can't tell your age. And so when they do look young they are restricted from spending their own money. Do you see what I mean? The society punishes women either way: you either choose to look your age, or give up your independence. I've never tried to look young; it's probably a genetic thing.

It's not just alcohol obviously, I got ID'd for paracetamol at Waitrose when I had a cold.

Yeah yeah, I get it, 'Why don't you just bring your ID all the time?' Look, that's not the point. The point is women already cannot live as carefree as men in so many areas of life. Dealing with period, dealing with pain, dealing with having less physical force. This is just one more thing.

It's a covertly sexist policy.

That's all, have a wonderful new year.

OP posts:
Spinnering · 31/12/2025 22:57

ThePerfectWeekend · 31/12/2025 22:12

30yo DS cannot get served anywhere (he's our eldest). He regularly gets asked by people at his door if his DPs are in. He's owned the house for seven years.
Both DSs have also had several people (always middle-aged men) shout, "bank of mum and dad," "mummy and daddy's money" and "mummy's car" at them when driving. Their young looks get comments a lot.
All three of my adult DC carry ID all the time. None of them get served in bars otherwise. Rather naughtily, DD (a 19yo student) regularly travels on a child ticket. I don't think there's a difference between the sex, just how young they look.

Edited

I did that until I was 26. Trains are so expensive. Sorry not sorry 😂

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 31/12/2025 22:59

Spinnering · 31/12/2025 22:54

I was about to say lol they ID everyone in the U.S.

Me and my friends all late 30s got ID’d in Houston recently.

Even though my friends from Houston had once been regulars at that club and knew the bouncers on duty that night.

Show quote history

My folks went to US for joint 60th… dm delighted in being‘carded!😆

Kimura · 31/12/2025 23:02

You are ridiculous for thinking this is sexist.

If you get ID'd often, carry your ID like a grown up.

Eyeshadow · 31/12/2025 23:04

My solution too, just ID everyone. Gives the worker one less job as well.

  1. That wouldn’t have solved your issue as you didn’t take your ID.
  2. People who are obviously over 50 are going to be refused items purely because they don’t have their ID and they’re obviously much older.
  3. The workers will get more shit because very few 50+ look under 25 and so they would still need their ID checked and if they don’t have it then the workers will get the blame even though they’re obviously much older.
Snowyowl99 · 31/12/2025 23:11

ArseSkinForAFriend · 31/12/2025 20:01

I'd say it's the other way round if anything.

Young women can make themselves look older with makeup.

Young men, not so much.

But it's not ridiculous or sexist anyway.

Agree..more likely young men. My 18 year old niece with make up etc looks way older than her years

Ellie56 · 31/12/2025 23:12

Quite frankly it would be much easier all round if everyone was asked for ID. Then everyone would have to get into the habit of carrying ID and save the poor low paid retail workers a load of grief and hassle.

Waynettaaa · 31/12/2025 23:12

DD is 31 and get's ID'd all the time. She uses her passport when buying alcohol or receiving her online shop (she doesn't drive).

PollyBell · 31/12/2025 23:21

So a woman gets asked for id so let's blame men, if a woman breaks a nail can we blame men for that too?

ShesTheAlbatross · 31/12/2025 23:24

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

Edited

I agree.

I hated working on checkouts and having to ask for ID and risk annoying someone like you just because I was erring on the side of caution so I didn’t get fired.

TroysMammy · 31/12/2025 23:26

I don't have photographic id. Do you think they'll accept my date of birth on my Facebook page and my photo? 😂

tachetastic · 31/12/2025 23:27

Not ridiculous or sexist at all. I think most young men look way younger than most young women of the same age. There’s probably also an assumption (rightly or wrongly) that boys will be up to no good so I would expect stores to be more vigilant.

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 23:28

clary · 31/12/2025 21:08

Yeh sorry OP, I hope your evening gets better.

My DS works in retail and he has to ID people. Often they don’t like it. But yunno, I had a friend whose DD looked about 21 when she was 16 (tall, wore stylish clothes, used makeup); my own DD is 24 but could pass for 16, due to her height (5ft3), slim build, choice of clothes and make-up (ie neutral clothes and no makeup). DD was in a seat on a plane last year where you have to be 18 (bc it's the emergency exit) and the cabin crew asked her how old she was. DD reckoned the staff member was probably younger than she was.

So the only way round it is for the staff to ask for ID if they think there is a chance you are under 25. because you could look 24 and actually be 17. And the staff member could lose their job if they allowed alcohol to be sold to a minor.

Actually DS says he IDs lads as often as not so your feminist schtick doesn't resonate with me.

Just carry your driving licence and have done.

btw 25 was chosen I imagine bc someone who looks older than 25 probably is 18+; it's not at all unusual for someone of 17 to look (say) 21, but not usually 25 tbh. Even my friend's lass didn't look that old at 16.

The height thing never makes sense to me. Most women have reached their full adult height by 16. Many by 12 (2 years after first period is generally when height stops). My sister reached her full adult height at 10.

So why do we think of short women as younger? Unless they’re tweens there’s not much growing left to do and plenty of 18+ are 5ft or even under. Your daughter is the average height for women.

JohnTheRevelator · 31/12/2025 23:30

My DD occasionally gets asked for ID when she buys alcohol. She's 42 for goodness sake!

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 31/12/2025 23:30

Law brought in to protect youngsters from the perils of alcohol.

People break the law by buying alcohol when under age.

Shop assistants get into trouble for selling it to them.

Regulations change so that customers who look under a particular age have to provide ID before buying alcohol. This not only protects the retail staff from getting into trouble, it also prevents anyone from breaking the law by buying alcohol while under age.

Win/Win. No... wait...

RampantIvy · 31/12/2025 23:31

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:19

I have nothing against people doing their job, but am not happy about the policy and how it's executed. Just ID everyone, 25 or 85. Don't force the worker to make a judgment on the spot. Spare us the awkward silence.

Edited

DD is 25 and looks about 15. She carries ID on her all the time.

You need to untwist your knickers and just keep some ID on you.

You are being ridiculously unreasonable.

InOverMyHead84 · 31/12/2025 23:36

It's an essential policy. Had the same until I was 32. I'm male.

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 23:36

enkelt2 · 31/12/2025 20:31

Look, I get the makeup thing--but doesn't that prove my point really, that more women than men use makeup, for what? For beauty standards. For very sexist beauty standards.

Anecdotes of men vs. women, who gets ID'd more, don't really prove anything. If I were a worker I'd ID everyone to save myself the trouble of judging. But, I would definitely be more afraid of a man getting upset that they got ID'd than a woman.

Yes, bringing ID is a simple solution, but then again, it's either a physical copy of your passport or DL. Well, not everyone has these. Yes again you can argue for the simplicity of getting these, but they cost something, don't they? Why should a person who needs paracetemol or a kitchen knife be prepared to spare £100 for a passport or £34 for a DL? Again, yes, in practice, most people have these. But in principle? Why?

If you asked for my solution, well, maybe some optional, opt-in national ID. Not a fan of the potential abuse of this, of course.

Imma drink my wine now.

Like I’ve said they can pay £12 for a Post Office ID. Do people not research things anymore?

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 23:38

TheCurious0range · 31/12/2025 20:31

I've worked in lots of bars and none would accept citizen card as they are too easily faked

It’s been accepted literally anywhere I’ve ever tried it.

BringBackCatsEyes · 31/12/2025 23:43

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 31/12/2025 22:59

My folks went to US for joint 60th… dm delighted in being‘carded!😆

Show quote history

At a conference at UCLA (an undergraduate and thus dry campus) we all headed into Westwood for a drink. The only person who thought to take ID was the member of our party who was early 20s and used to needing it. The rest of us, ranging from early 30s to 60 had no idea and were simply refused a drink.
We learnt from our mistake!

nb anyone who thinks those undergraduates are not drinking lives under a rock!

trainboundfornowhere · 31/12/2025 23:54

Most shops cannot accept electronic id they need physical id. I have id’s work colleagues despite knowing they were old enough (you cannot work in the shop I did under 16) Despite this management still expected us to ask work colleagues for id.

RampantIvy · 01/01/2026 00:12

ManyPigeons · 31/12/2025 23:38

It’s been accepted literally anywhere I’ve ever tried it.

Show quote history

You have been lucky. Lots of places don't accept them.

IngridBurger · 01/01/2026 00:19

The paracetamol thing pisses me right off. Unlike alcohol it is perfectly legal for them to sell without age restriction. It is a choice they make to the detriment of young people who should be able to access pain relief. Young carers, girls with period pains and no adults prepared/organised to provide? Fucking ridiculous imo.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 01/01/2026 00:23

Yes, Wagamama judging me for buying my adult son a pint and refusing to get it even though I had ID.

niclw · 01/01/2026 00:31

I got asked for ID when I was 35. I burst out laughing at being asked for ID. Unfortunately this was in the supermarket my sibling worked in and I was laughing about it in front of them and ended up getting the shop assistant in trouble as I replied that I was 35 when she asked for ID and thanked her. She then said that she didn’t need to see my ID then.

trainboundfornowhere · 01/01/2026 00:49

niclw · 01/01/2026 00:31

I got asked for ID when I was 35. I burst out laughing at being asked for ID. Unfortunately this was in the supermarket my sibling worked in and I was laughing about it in front of them and ended up getting the shop assistant in trouble as I replied that I was 35 when she asked for ID and thanked her. She then said that she didn’t need to see my ID then.

I would have taken id anyway. Every time you ask even if you subsequently where I worked you refused the sale it was recorded. I assume if you didn’t ask what management viewed as enough people they would have said something.

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