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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my mum overstepped the mark - sister minding stranger’s bag at airport

195 replies

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:14

Me (26), my sister (25) and our mum have been abroad for a few days. We are flying home tonight and are currently at the airport (pre-security). We’re too early to drop our suitcase off so my mum and I went to look for food while my sister looked after our bags.
When we came back with sandwiches and suggested we go upstairs to a table to eat them, my sister said she would join us shortly as a stranger had asked her to mind her bag while she went for a smoke.
My mum immediately told my sister off and said she shouldn’t have agreed to that and to leave the bag. My sister refused until the bag owner came back. My mum and I headed off to find a table but on the way my mum told me she was going back to wait with my sister to tell the stranger that she shouldn’t be asking people to mind her bags. I said “mum, don’t, she [my sister]’s an adult” but my mum stormed off angrily. By the time she got back to my sister, the lady had just returned and was moving away with her bag. My mum apparently gave her a “look” instead of speaking to her.
My sister has since told our mum that she’s an adult, can make her own decisions and asked our mum not to stand up to strangers on her behalf. Our mum said “yes but as an adult I thought you would be sensible and not agree to look after someone’s bag. I’m an adult too so I can decide to speak to them if I want”.
AIBU to think our mum should back off? Yes not a good idea to agree to mind a stranger’s bag but my sister is entitled to make her own mistakes. Our mum has historically not respected our boundaries.

OP posts:
Purplewarrior · 31/12/2025 19:03

I would be incredibly shocked if my DD did something as stupid as your sister. Not sure I blame your mum for overreacting slightly.

MissMoneyFairy · 31/12/2025 19:08

The smokers is lucky your mum didn't call security who would have taken action, your sister put everyone at risk by being so gullible,

Parsleyforme · 31/12/2025 19:09

Neither of you really sound like adults so your mum had to get involved. If you don’t want the embarrassment of your mum saying things for you then you need to be more adult

QuornToBeWild · 31/12/2025 19:11

I imagine the holiday was fun with the three of you. 😅

It was a really silly thing for your sister to do. I generally let my older kids do their thing but I would have said something in this situation as it was so stupid.

If she doesn’t respect your boundaries in other situations, then tell her at the time, but she was right on this one.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 31/12/2025 19:13

Your sister is an idiot. Your Mum is sensible.

youalright · 31/12/2025 19:13

Im on your mums side your sisters an idiot and needed telling.

youalright · 31/12/2025 19:14

You're the sister aren't you?

Netcurtainnelly · 31/12/2025 19:17

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:14

Me (26), my sister (25) and our mum have been abroad for a few days. We are flying home tonight and are currently at the airport (pre-security). We’re too early to drop our suitcase off so my mum and I went to look for food while my sister looked after our bags.
When we came back with sandwiches and suggested we go upstairs to a table to eat them, my sister said she would join us shortly as a stranger had asked her to mind her bag while she went for a smoke.
My mum immediately told my sister off and said she shouldn’t have agreed to that and to leave the bag. My sister refused until the bag owner came back. My mum and I headed off to find a table but on the way my mum told me she was going back to wait with my sister to tell the stranger that she shouldn’t be asking people to mind her bags. I said “mum, don’t, she [my sister]’s an adult” but my mum stormed off angrily. By the time she got back to my sister, the lady had just returned and was moving away with her bag. My mum apparently gave her a “look” instead of speaking to her.
My sister has since told our mum that she’s an adult, can make her own decisions and asked our mum not to stand up to strangers on her behalf. Our mum said “yes but as an adult I thought you would be sensible and not agree to look after someone’s bag. I’m an adult too so I can decide to speak to them if I want”.
AIBU to think our mum should back off? Yes not a good idea to agree to mind a stranger’s bag but my sister is entitled to make her own mistakes. Our mum has historically not respected our boundaries.

No look after your own bad. Disent your sister realise it coukd be a bomb.
Also she is not responsible the person should take their bag with them. Why are they trusting a stranger anyway.

Snorlaxo · 31/12/2025 19:18

Your sister did something stupid but unlike my own dd who is a similar age, didn’t live with the warnings about reporting unattended luggage because of IRA threats or watch movies like Bangkok Hilton at an impressionable age. People our age know why they ask if you packed your own bag at the airport. Your sister might want to watch one of those airport security programmes and be more savvy about criminal activity and airports.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 31/12/2025 19:30

Snorlaxo · 31/12/2025 19:18

Your sister did something stupid but unlike my own dd who is a similar age, didn’t live with the warnings about reporting unattended luggage because of IRA threats or watch movies like Bangkok Hilton at an impressionable age. People our age know why they ask if you packed your own bag at the airport. Your sister might want to watch one of those airport security programmes and be more savvy about criminal activity and airports.

But is old enough to have heard of the Peru two or Bella Cully two name a couple of the top of my head.

TY78910 · 31/12/2025 19:30

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:24

I’m not disputing that my mum’s opinion - I agree it wasn’t wise to agree to look after the bag. I’m referring to my mum’s way of approaching it though.

But what would you have done differently? And let’s bear in mind that the outcome of minding the wrong bag in an international airport can result in detention, interrogation, missing flight for ALL of you, not just her. That could have been the impact. So IMO she was in the right to call the woman out - it’s not just butting in to your sisters affairs, this would have considered her too.

CraftyGin · 31/12/2025 19:33

I'm Team Mum.

Jinglejells · 31/12/2025 19:35

Snorlaxo · 31/12/2025 19:18

Your sister did something stupid but unlike my own dd who is a similar age, didn’t live with the warnings about reporting unattended luggage because of IRA threats or watch movies like Bangkok Hilton at an impressionable age. People our age know why they ask if you packed your own bag at the airport. Your sister might want to watch one of those airport security programmes and be more savvy about criminal activity and airports.

What nonsense. Are you really making such excuses for a big grown 25yo?? No wonder people like the sister are like this, because they are treated like babies.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/12/2025 19:35

TY78910 · 31/12/2025 18:22

You never ever mind a strangers bag at an airport. For all you know this person clocked that they were being watched and the bag is full of illegal stuff. That’s a lack of common sense from your sister. I’d be absolutely fuming and I can imagine when you have adult kids, you no longer need to ‘gentle parent’ your approach to telling them off.

It could have contained a bomb. Unlikely, I know, but…

ohyesido · 31/12/2025 19:38

Your sister was utterly naive here, how could she not comprehend the danger she put herself in?

I would definitely scold my DS and the idiot if I were in your mother’s shoes

Anywherebuthere · 31/12/2025 19:39

Your mum is right. But it would have been better for her to have a word with her instead of glaring as obviously your sister wasn't going to say anything and was silly to not refuse the request.

Sometimes even strangers do daft things and need a reminder.

Freeme31 · 31/12/2025 19:52

I agree with your mum, plus mums are normally right

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2025 19:57

YABU.
Adulthood, maturity and experience aren’t acquired at an arbitrary age such as 18 or 21. Minding a stranger’s bag at an airport is a very naive and silly thing to do. And your response is quite immature too tbh.
I can’t imagine my 26yo dd being so daft but she’s wise enough to ask for our advice on things still.

tuvamoodyson · 31/12/2025 20:03

#teammum

OriginalUsername2 · 31/12/2025 20:05

You and your sister should forgive your mum for this one. She went into protective mode.

malmi · 31/12/2025 20:07

I actually don’t think it’s that big a deal to watch someone’s bag for a few minutes. The risk is really on the person leaving their bag with a stranger. It’s not like she asked your sister to pretend it was her bag and take it on the plane. If it turned out to be full of heroin the CCTV will show that the bag watcher didn’t have anything to do with it. I guess there’s a possibility of it being an explosive set to detonate. Risky strategy for the would-be terrorist though. Doesn’t feel like a likely approach.

ArtesianWater · 31/12/2025 20:08

I'm with your mum. Also, your sister put all three of you at risk because you were travelling together, so if it really comes down to 'what right did my mum have to an opinion?' then I think she did on the basis she could have been impacted.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 31/12/2025 20:08

OriginalUsername2 · 31/12/2025 20:05

You and your sister should forgive your mum for this one. She went into protective mode.

I would say mum went into common sense mode.

TaraC25 · 31/12/2025 20:09

Your mum sounds like my mum - passive aggressive.
Your sister was daft to say yes in this situation, but maybe she felt obliged and gave a panicked response without thinking through the possible consequences.

But yeah your mum sounds hard work!

FunMustard · 31/12/2025 20:17

I'd really like to know what an acceptable way of saying this to your grown up child would be? I know at that age, there would be no telling me - and tbh even if I knew it was stupid it'd still rankle now.

Your mum was right.