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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my mum overstepped the mark - sister minding stranger’s bag at airport

195 replies

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:14

Me (26), my sister (25) and our mum have been abroad for a few days. We are flying home tonight and are currently at the airport (pre-security). We’re too early to drop our suitcase off so my mum and I went to look for food while my sister looked after our bags.
When we came back with sandwiches and suggested we go upstairs to a table to eat them, my sister said she would join us shortly as a stranger had asked her to mind her bag while she went for a smoke.
My mum immediately told my sister off and said she shouldn’t have agreed to that and to leave the bag. My sister refused until the bag owner came back. My mum and I headed off to find a table but on the way my mum told me she was going back to wait with my sister to tell the stranger that she shouldn’t be asking people to mind her bags. I said “mum, don’t, she [my sister]’s an adult” but my mum stormed off angrily. By the time she got back to my sister, the lady had just returned and was moving away with her bag. My mum apparently gave her a “look” instead of speaking to her.
My sister has since told our mum that she’s an adult, can make her own decisions and asked our mum not to stand up to strangers on her behalf. Our mum said “yes but as an adult I thought you would be sensible and not agree to look after someone’s bag. I’m an adult too so I can decide to speak to them if I want”.
AIBU to think our mum should back off? Yes not a good idea to agree to mind a stranger’s bag but my sister is entitled to make her own mistakes. Our mum has historically not respected our boundaries.

OP posts:
HelenaWilson · 31/12/2025 18:34

my sister is entitled to make her own mistakes.

It's a mistake that could have impacted all of you if security had been watching and thought it suspicious. Your mum was right be pissed off. Your sister should have had more sense.

Never leave your luggage unattended at an airport or railway station.
Never agree to look after someone else's luggage.

Dozer · 31/12/2025 18:34

Mum was still U to seek to directly intervene: doubt she would have done so had she been in the same situation with a friend.

Silverbirchleaf · 31/12/2025 18:35

I think your mum was looking out for your sister in this case, not overstepping boundaries.

What would your sister have done if the person had asked for some help carrying her luggage, and then it was found to contain drugs…? By asking her to mind the case, they could have been testing her.,

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 31/12/2025 18:35

I don't actually think it would have been unreasonable for your mum to have given the stranger a piece of her mind. Either they were dim to the point of dangerous and need to be told not to leave baggage with random that could interfere with it, or they knew what they were asking was out of order and did it anyway.

For all they know you were smuggling something and now you've had opportunity to slip something in their bag!
And your DM had to choose between staying with her daft daughter and hope you don't all get arrested for having a case full of heroin, or blown up, or leaving her alone with it and having to live with not being there if something bad did happen.

Gazelda · 31/12/2025 18:36

So your mom told DSis off
then stormed off angrily after you’d had words
then glared at the woman

it doesn’t strike me as an overreaction to your sis’s idiocy.

she was being a mum. Mums never stop worrying. Never stop wanting to protect. Never stop wanting to prevent their DC from putting themselves in potentially dangerous situations.

your mum may have a history of overstepping boundaries. But I think she was right on this occasion.

rainbowunicorn · 31/12/2025 18:36

Your sister is a bloody idiot. If she always behaves like that no wonder your mum treats her like a child. To be honest most children would not be that stupid. It could have had serious consequences for everyone involved.

lunar1 · 31/12/2025 18:38

I think if one of my children, adult or not made such a stupid decision, I’d be overstepping as well. You should be far more worried about what a dumb choice that was. Team mum all the way.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 31/12/2025 18:38

Dozer · 31/12/2025 18:34

Mum was still U to seek to directly intervene: doubt she would have done so had she been in the same situation with a friend.

She's probably a bit less phased by the prospect of visiting her friend in prison in a foreign country for the next few years than she is her daughter.

HelenaWilson · 31/12/2025 18:45

I don't actually think it would have been unreasonable for your mum to have given the stranger a piece of her mind.

I agree.
I once told off some tourists at St Pancras station who had left their luggage piled up and walked away. I don't think they understood enough English to know what I was saying, but anyone who was accustomed to travel in and out of London during the IRA years knows not to leave luggage unattended.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 31/12/2025 18:45

OP, have you considered that while you and DS I'm sure are aware of events like 9/11 and Lockerbie, your DM will have lived through those. It's not a nebulous 'something bad might happen but probably won't' for her, the unimaginable has happened in her memory. And it won't feel that long ago.

Sleepasaurus · 31/12/2025 18:48

Silly thing for your sister to do but your mum sounds like my mother! Professionally angry at the world and ready to fight any battle.

Skybluepinky · 31/12/2025 18:50

Is your sister always so reckless?

pumpkinpaste · 31/12/2025 18:50

Team Mum

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 31/12/2025 18:51

If you were all identifiably travelling together, and I assume you were, it was not just criminally stupid of your sister, it could have left all of you in the shit. It only takes one bag of contraband in a party of travellers for all of them to be in serious trouble.

I had a terribly intrusive and overbearing mum too but in this particular instance I am 100% Team Your Mum. Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day.

Garroty · 31/12/2025 18:53

YANBU about your mum but your sister was being utterly stupid.

minou123 · 31/12/2025 18:54

I am trying to work out which bit your mum did which was unreasonable and her approach was wrong.

went to go look for food with you, leaving your sister to mind your bags came back to find your sister had agreed to look after a strangers bag and gave her a bollocking- all fine. Your sister did a really stupid thing.

decided to leave your sister to it, but then decided to go back and give the stranger a bollocking too - I think this is where you have the issue. But the key thing is your mum decided not to give the stranger a bollocking, but instead gave her a "look". So she did respect your boundaries and didnt speak on your sisters behalf.

Perhaps, and something for you to think about, but perhaps your sister is very embarrassed about the stupid risky thing she did - and instead of being cross and angry with her own decisions, it's much easier to blame your mum - what do you think?

SALaw · 31/12/2025 18:55

Your sister is an idiot. HTH.

Devuelta81 · 31/12/2025 18:55

Have to say I'm totally with your mum on this. And she wasn't just interfering because that could have backfired seriously on all of you, it wasn't purely your sister's decision.

GreenPoms · 31/12/2025 18:56

Surely , if you genuinely care about someone, when they are making an extremely stupid decision, you point it out?

Would your sister have a problem with this if you’d told her, or is there an ongoing problem with your mum?

Bollocksmorelike · 31/12/2025 19:00

YABU to expect your Mum to back off, if your sister wants her to back off, she needs to stop doing ridiculously stupid things in front of her.

WarmGreyHare · 31/12/2025 19:01

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:14

Me (26), my sister (25) and our mum have been abroad for a few days. We are flying home tonight and are currently at the airport (pre-security). We’re too early to drop our suitcase off so my mum and I went to look for food while my sister looked after our bags.
When we came back with sandwiches and suggested we go upstairs to a table to eat them, my sister said she would join us shortly as a stranger had asked her to mind her bag while she went for a smoke.
My mum immediately told my sister off and said she shouldn’t have agreed to that and to leave the bag. My sister refused until the bag owner came back. My mum and I headed off to find a table but on the way my mum told me she was going back to wait with my sister to tell the stranger that she shouldn’t be asking people to mind her bags. I said “mum, don’t, she [my sister]’s an adult” but my mum stormed off angrily. By the time she got back to my sister, the lady had just returned and was moving away with her bag. My mum apparently gave her a “look” instead of speaking to her.
My sister has since told our mum that she’s an adult, can make her own decisions and asked our mum not to stand up to strangers on her behalf. Our mum said “yes but as an adult I thought you would be sensible and not agree to look after someone’s bag. I’m an adult too so I can decide to speak to them if I want”.
AIBU to think our mum should back off? Yes not a good idea to agree to mind a stranger’s bag but my sister is entitled to make her own mistakes. Our mum has historically not respected our boundaries.

Your sister is old enough to make all the silly choices she likes for herself without her mother having a say!

PluckyChancer · 31/12/2025 19:01

Your sister owes your mum a huge apology!

Your mum was being the ONLY responsible adult in this scenario and you and your sister are still acting like petulant teenagers having been caught smoking in the garden shed and trying to lie your way out of it.

For goodness sake, grow up!!

Periperi2025 · 31/12/2025 19:02

I think your mum's allowed to parent monumentally stupid behaviour even past 18.

And it was you and your mum at risk along with your sister if the package had been dodgy.

PInkyStarfish · 31/12/2025 19:02

I like your mum. She’s got her head screwed on.

Your sister sounds terribly annoying.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/12/2025 19:02

Airportdrama · 31/12/2025 18:24

I’m not disputing that my mum’s opinion - I agree it wasn’t wise to agree to look after the bag. I’m referring to my mum’s way of approaching it though.

You'd rather she was all 'oh, you shouldn't really do that, dearie. Let's all wait and guard the suitcase of heroin/Semtex so that the stranger isn't inconvenienced by having it identified before countless people's lives are ended by the contents'?

It was probably the stupidest thing anybody could do in an airport beyond actually agreeing to take it to baggage check for them. And she and the moron who did it needed to know that.