to consider going on holiday with this couple?

[Closetothewind]

Name changed for this, for what will be obvious reasons.

To cut a long story short, I have been having an affair with a close male friend for the last two years now. TBH, my relationship with DH has been tedious for years now, he's not a particularly warm man and the honest truth is that I don't feel any great guilt over seeing somebody else.

The man I'm seeing has a newish girlfriend and she's really keen for us all to go on holiday. I know it sounds like a bit of a nigtmare, but it's at a very exclusive private members resort and we'd never be able to get in there without her.

AIBU to even consider going on this trip?

hmm thats true - ear plugs?

I can't believe that if you feel no guilt over the affair, then you even need to ask regarding the holiday!

As said above, if there are kids involved, then god help them...

Gosh, I don't mean to be rude but some of you are coming across as very naive when it comes to the true state of very many relationships.

This is life, people have affairs, it's not a crime.

My only real concern in relation to the holiday is whether we may be pushing our luck - we've managed to be very discrete for two years now, I'm concerned that the relaxed holiday environment will make us very lazy.

That said, it is quite an opportunity.

Well, of course it's pushing your luck, if indeed luck is the word to use. Is that all you wanted to know? You knew that already surely. It would be madness.

Mmmm, an opportunity for shagging in the laundry cupboard, disabled loo et al.

but my what an opportunity, surely its worth it? What does it matter, you say your DH won't leave even if he finds out and you obviously don't care what the girlfriend thinks.

Closetothewind is right you know, you are all so naive, according to my sources 46.2% of women are having sex with other men who are having sex with other women and going on holiday with them and their H (to be fair the D doesn't really apply here does it). really I was amazed it was that low - I thought everyone had this kind of arrangement.

How are old are you OP? With grown up children you must be getting on a bit. Just want to see if it fits in with the image that I have of you.

You just sound like such an unbelievable twat.

I live in a different world.

Explain to me HOW, if you were to holiday together how you orchestrate to spend time together with the boyfriend under your H's nose? We holiday with other couples and you know where each other are pretty much all the time. I just don't get how it would be practically possible (moral implications aside).

This is one of the most unbelievable things I have read in a long time.

Closeto - people aren't being naive about your situation, of course affairs go on, but its extremely hardfaced to lunch and go on holiday with your BF's girlfriend though.

Message withdrawn

I live in a different world. Me too thank goodness.

How nice when you are having a nice snog on the qt you can amuse yourself with the thought his tongue was probably up her fanjo that morning.

How stimulating

"we've managed to be very discrete for two years now"

Well, that's OK, I was beginning to think you had been continuous.

This is a wind up surely?

"Gosh, I don't mean to be rude but some of you are coming across as very naive when it comes to the true state of very many relationships.

This is life, people have affairs, it's not a crime."

I think you are the naive one if you think this is going to end well with no one hurt. You can talk for your own relationship. Don't taint us all with your low morales.
It might not be illegal to cheat on your husband but it is clearly moraly wrong.
Forsaking all overs anyone?

This is so obviously a troll.

The OP is expecting us to believe that she thinks that on the one hand "This is life, people have affairs, it's not a crime." and that anybody who thinks that everybody including their own partner doesn't have a bit on the side is a bit backward...

but on the other hand she is concerned that she will be 'lazy' and something that she is worried about will happen - what is she worried about - why would it matter if the husband or the girlfriend found out, as surely in the OP's world they will presumably have their own alternative partners stashed somewhere too and will be only too glad to either join in or have a bit of time off to do some extra curricular themselves.

If it is somebody doing some research on a book, I don't think it will work - nobody seems to care what anybody else does so where is the story?

Eeewwww WilyWombat but not untrue

Sorry AL I just couldnt resist it LOL

How/where/when are you planning on shagging the BF whilst you're away? I find it hard enough to manage with my own DH..... and that's allowed. Or will you be content with exchanging longing looks over the sunloungers. Will you be able to cope with imagining that they're having "new partners'sex" - aka "hot," while you have to make do with dull old DH. But never mind, its a posh place, so that'll make up for it.

hahahaha you twat

Maybe your husband will take up with the girlfriend while you have "nipped" out for some fresh air

I cannot believe that nobody else is crying out to know where this 'private resort' is.

Is the fluffy girlfriend Richard Branson's daughter and you are all going to Necker Island or summat??

Oh come on, tell.

Yeah, I want to know. Come on windy - tell us.

Oh right, I forgot. It doesn't exist.

UQD - fabulous pedantery. Wonder how Windy's luncheon is going?