to consider going on holiday with this couple?

[Closetothewind]

Name changed for this, for what will be obvious reasons.

To cut a long story short, I have been having an affair with a close male friend for the last two years now. TBH, my relationship with DH has been tedious for years now, he's not a particularly warm man and the honest truth is that I don't feel any great guilt over seeing somebody else.

The man I'm seeing has a newish girlfriend and she's really keen for us all to go on holiday. I know it sounds like a bit of a nigtmare, but it's at a very exclusive private members resort and we'd never be able to get in there without her.

AIBU to even consider going on this trip?

For all you know your DH could be shagging that other woman anyway - hey even your BF I guess... so what the hell I say, go on your holiday, shag each other senseless. (oh sorry seems you already did that)...

By the way I object to the piss take of the Honda Civic. Our Honda Civic Aerodeck (estate to you and me) has done us proud! And long may he/she continue to get my DH to work and back....

DO it!! From what I can gather, she's desperate to get in your hubbies slippers anyway . . .

Tee hee, MadameP - had forgotten all about that. 80's sitcoms - a mine of trollery opportunities...

trollery or trollopy?

That is the question, mistypeaks.

OP, if extramarital affairs are a fact of life, why aren't you telling dh about yours? That way, he can feel free to equally go out and shag another person.

As it is, you want your cake and eat it.

Enjoy your lover's new girlfriend's private members resort - the fact that such a thing is even desirable to you reveals a lot about where your shallow priorities lie. It will be the only thing going for you in your sordid and empty life that is devoid of courage and meaning.

Oh my word blueshoes, he most certainly has been out and "shagged" another person - when I was struggling with two children under three.

I am sanguine about it now, what goes around comes around. I will enjoy the private member's resort, I have earned it

good for him

good for you too.

Gosh entitlement rules on MN tonight - if it's not entitlement to fridge freezers that run for more than a year (reasonable), it's entitlement to being driven around if you can't drive (dubious), or entitlement to your parents' money (highly dubious). Now it's entitlement to shag another girl's bloke while married.

you sound very cheap and tacky..... would an "ecluuuuusive" resort let you in??

yuk to the lot of you.

Why does "she" want you to go? Who does she think you are?

So you are both off shagging other people? FFS, will you just get a bloody divorce.

Maybe with the divorce settlement, you can buy yourself a membership for this exclusive resort.

So, OP, you wouldn't be surprised if some of our husbands were having affairs? Do you just not like other women at all?

It's like posh Jeremy Kyle!

I don't think it is an AIBU question tbh.

I think you need to sort things closer to home.

How on earth are you going to spend time with your husband and your lover without someone seeing what is going on?

Using your lover's girlfriend for a holiday an your husband for what?

Now I have read the whole thread I know exactly what you are staing with yo ur husband for.

Great example for your chidren.

Well to be fair Notabanana her children won't ever hear her say

We only stayed together for the sake of the children..

hence no guilt on their part...

No, its all about the assets...

Well marriage is frequently about the assets to be honest - it's a financial deal as well as a practical one. We get all dewy eyed about the emotional and sexual side, but everything is a part of a marriage.

Not I hasten to add that I condone sleeping around in a loveless marriage simply because the parties involved can't afford to divorce

I don't think people who are having extra-marital affairs should stay together because of 'long and complicated reasons involving our assets'.

It may well be complicated, but I'm sure a lawyer can work it out.

Nice one, Heifer.

I am sure she likes the trappings of marriage but wants more excitement. I wonder if she sleeps with her husband too or if he really is just a cash machine...

I do love the fact that you refer to your bit on the side's new girlfriend as a "fluffy bit of fun"....as if you and he are the ones that are really grown up and serious

Been thinking about this. You sound like such a cow. What makes me sad is the thought of this "fluffy bit of fun" girlfriend, probably quite young yes? and not quite as clued up in the art of extra marital shagging and disrespecting relationships as you and probably just really excited about going on holiday with her new boyfriend and his mates. Poor girl.

I think you should just join the cast of Benidorm and team up with Jacqueline and Donald.

This sounds like a great premise for a book.

"Jocasta Fotherington knows her marriage to Jonty is a sham, and so her clandestine liaisons with rugged investment portfolio speculator Hank Henrickson seem like a blessed relief. But when Hank suggests a holiday in exclusive Branleurs-les-Pins, and wants her and Jonty to come along with his long-term girlfriend Nikita, Jocasta is dubious. However, much against her better judgement the holiday is arranged, and before long the foursome are caught up in web of emotions, lies and deceit..."

ETERNAL RECTANGLE is available now from Tosspot Books, £5.99.

"A sparkling, witty take on modern relationships" Guardian

"Hot hot hot! THE summer read" Bella