to consider going on holiday with this couple?

[Closetothewind]

Name changed for this, for what will be obvious reasons.

To cut a long story short, I have been having an affair with a close male friend for the last two years now. TBH, my relationship with DH has been tedious for years now, he's not a particularly warm man and the honest truth is that I don't feel any great guilt over seeing somebody else.

The man I'm seeing has a newish girlfriend and she's really keen for us all to go on holiday. I know it sounds like a bit of a nigtmare, but it's at a very exclusive private members resort and we'd never be able to get in there without her.

AIBU to even consider going on this trip?

He has a new girlfriend because I am unable to commit to him - for long and complicated reasons involving our assets, which I shan't go into here it's not really practicable for my husband and I to split.

The girlfriend doesn't know about me, she's a nice enough girl but I don't see it lasting, she's just a fluffy bit of fun really.

Just looking for a consensus on the holiday really, not the affair..

It's a bit much to post an intriguing story like that and say you only want comments on the holiday. As if anyone is going to care about your holiday when your story, if indeed it is true, is so extraordinary.

It's like posting, "I've been sleeping with my marrried boss for years. Now his wife is selling her Honda Civic. Should I buy it?"

Don't be fucking stupid, 'it isn't really practical to split because of our assets'.

What a load of bullshit.

Leave your husband, and then you and your boyfriend can be happy together.

And if you are honestly staying with your husband for his money, or assets, whatever, and sleeping with someone else, then you are a golddigger.

nfk -

This is a wind up, has troll written all over it.
Oh well if you can't beat 'em?
Go along and on your last night tell everyone about the affair, let whoever is looking after your children to be prepared for an atomic return.
Seriously, no money or assets are worth living a life that is sordid and deceitful, you must have little self respect left let alone a moral compass to post such a question.

So basically you don't want to lose the lifestyle that your husband provides?

My, this thread is just ripe for quote of the week pickings! Splendid, nkf!

DSM, what colour is the Honda?

I don't know but it has quite a few miles on the clock so I'm not sure if I should buy it.

Both of my children are grown up now, they look after themselves

Telling about our affair is not an option. It suits my husband very well for me to stay with him, I doubt he would ask me to leave should it be revealed to him anyway.

Sounds like you value money and exclusive invites over any relationships you have with people i find that really sad, I think deep down you are lonely and trying to fill a void with things rather than love.

Ooooh this is like Jilly Cooper plot or similar.

Is the man you are having the affair with a muscular 19 year old stablehand?

Your life sounds really seedy OP.

You seem, though I can t understand why, to be wanting to have a little boast about your risque lifestyle. Yuk.

Oh, lazy, Closeto - either telling him isn't an option or he doesn't care, so it doesn't matter if you do. If you are going to troll, then do be consistent...

Closetothewind, Are you really expecting people to support your long term hooker deal? Really, wouldn't you like to wake up and look at yourself and think that yu're at least true to yourself? You have a sham of a marriage where your husband doesn't notice you, your bf has a new 'bit of fluff' and you are considering spending your time on holiday with a man you don't love and dining with a man you do love whilst admiring the woman he will no doubt be having sex with that night? Don;t you want more from your life? How about a holiday that you have with a man you love that you fall asleep with after a day of laughter? That's what I get, aside from the screaming children, the odd row with the dh, worrying about sunburn, food poisoning, and the 'am I a little too fat for this bikini??'

I doubt he would ask me to leave Habbibu, I can't take that risk though.

"Just looking for a consensus on the holiday really, not the affair.." - yeah because you are likely to get that on Mumsnet of all places.

I think the main thing to think about is will you enjoy the holiday? Will there be big bridges or little bridges. What is the quality of the grass like? If you leave it too late in the year and the grass is too dried up, the goats really won't be tempted over to the other side.

OH, im bored with this now.

Bored middle aged housewife, takes lover but wont leave her DH because of "splitting assets". Lover now has a girlfriend who suggested that wifey lover and hubby all go on holiday together. FFS nice try

I have come up with a perfect solution though - kill your husband, frame the bint!

'darling, I am having affair with that dear friend of ours who invited us on holiday. I didn't want to tell you, as we are in a better financial position together'

'Yes closetothewind - of course, I don't want you to leave me. Lets holiday with your boyfriend.'

This is how you think it would go?

bleaurgh, i feel all grubb just being on this thread

MP - class

grubby, obviously

She's just not sure, DSM. Don't you see the conundrum? What to do, what to do?

You must be confused, I'm not considering telling my husband, not at all.

i hope, if this is for real and you are all as silly and self absorbed as you are coming across, you are at least using condoms, as christ alone knows who else he, she and you are shagging, and you would not want tedious hubby to get a dose of something and then want to split the assets