New puppy...

[Doggynono]

I am not a dog person never have been...DP loves dogs all four kids love dogs. I am allergic to dogs some I can tolerate. Anyway they all went on and on DP told me for the kids childhood we should get them a dog I caved. He promised he would do everything with the dog. We got a 'hypoallergenic' breed I went and visited without taking antihistamine twice and all was fine. Anyway we're a week into having the new puppy and my allergies are flaring up. I just feel crap with them sore eyes, sneezing, a little bit wheezing thankfully no rashes. I'm trying not to be round her too much as I feel miserable have been taking 2 antihistamines a day but they aren't doing much. DP is raging at me he keeps throwing me dirty looks when I sneeze so there is no way I can say about Rehoming. He's also huffing about having to sleep downstairs with the dog while we crate train but again he was the one who wanted the dog not me. Plus I don't want to do that on the kids and dog.

any tips on what I can do here? Do hepa air purifiers work? I hoover, mop and damp wipe every day and she isn't allowed upstairs

OP, £800 now is the least of your worries. She's clearly badly bred and almost certainly comes from parents with no health tests.

Maltese, Poodles and Cockers are littered with a variety of expensive - life-limiting - health issues including collapsing trachea, dysplasia, PRA, heart issues. Some of those can cost upwards of £6K to fix.

What is your 'd'p going to be like when your dog inevitably has some very serious health issues?

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I had a similar experience with kittens. It took a few weeks, but I did get used to them. I was always careful to wash my hands if I touched them, and to avoid being scratched, but day to day I didn’t find it a problem. They were with us for 19 years!

Apart from anything else we now have "breeders" charging thousands for mongrels, I mean WTF!

You're less than a week in and everyone who was so desperate for the dog has lost interest. Your husband works shifts and despite promising to do everything for the dog you are asking disinterested children to watch to make sure tte dog pees when it goes outside so you are basically supervising house training the dog and now you have pinned your hopes on exposure desensitising you and reducing your allergy symptoms. Your wishful thinking is of not helpful to the dog. Are you planning on giving it a few months to settle in and bond with the family before you admit defeat? Hopefully you can see how selfish and cruel that outcome would be.

I have a feeling you probably laugh in a "what is he like" sort of way when people hint that they think your partner is a piss taking bully. You're an adult who can advocate for yourself but the dog can't and it makes me furious that you will keep the dog knowing you are allergic and no one else in the household is taking responsibility for providing the care and attention the dog needs. For goodness sake let the dog to a better home. And no I do not care if you are offended by my words. Dogs are not compulsory so if you get one you need to commit to giving it it's best life and if you can't you should let someone else.

Your husband is an abusive controlling prick.

You owe him nothing.

Chuck him out with the dog.

He bought it with all the associated risks and potential scenarios. It is not your place to pay him back. What kind of partner says and thinks like that???!

Is whatever he paid for it worth you living like this for years? You actually do not need to think about this , the answer is NO.

He is already bemoaning the fact that he has to stay downstairs to crate train puppy. I can see him gradually slacking in his care responsibilities towards puppy and it will become your responsibility because youncome across as very nice but also quite passive.

You were loving, kind & considerate and agreed to getting a dog despite your allergies. YOU HAVE TRIED. IT IS NOT WORKING OUT. So now it is time for him to be caring and considerate too (from your posts not sure he has these qualities towards you) and let puppy be rehomed. Puppy has to go.

Or rather very stupid, status motivated people willing to pay thousands for a rebranded mongrel.

You can absolutely not have a dog when you are allergic. The puppy unfortunately needs to go. Hopefully you got it from a reputable breeder who will take it back and give you a refund.

You'll have to rehome the dog eventually.

Maybe this week you could leave the dog, DP and kids at home and go and stay with your dog-free parents for a few days as you're having such a bad reaction have a break from the stupid thing and the dog 💐🍹

No reputable breeder would have planned a litter for Christmas or be breeding this mix of dog

You need to rehome your partner too!

And @Doggynono if you do decide to keep the stupid thing and his dog you need to have baby gates at the bottom and top of the stairs to stop it getting near your bed.

Is he always controlling with money? As in demanding money you don't have for things he says are somehow your fault?

Honestly your allergies are severe. And yes they may settle as you get used to the dog, and hoovering twice a day may help

But the fact is your husband is furious over you having an involuntary reaction to the dog?!
You might get used to the dog but you should get rid of your husband.

What a completely useless, selfish article your OH is.

I'm guessing the kids are young so it was a given that they would be no help.

What's his excuse?

Well he has made an utter mug of you.

And he's bloody horrible as well!

Sigh.

Breeders cannot help when they breed - much depends on the bitches season and also their age. If, for example, you have a three year old bitch and you want to breed her twice you may well have no choice but to breed around Christmas because if you wait, and you want to give her a rest between litters rather than churning out puppies, you might end up in a situation where ultimately she's too old to be bred from safely.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a litter ready around Christmas. But the onus is on the breeder to do their 'vetting' carefully, as it is any other time of year.

I had a litter in late October/early November 2022. Puppies were ready to go at Christmas. And I don't think anyone who know's even the smallest thing about me would say I am not reputable just because I had a litter at Christmas - in fact, about 99% of mumsnet dog owners would fail to meet my standards for having one of my dogs and I am frequently told on here my standards are unreasonably high. 😂

Poor little baby.

I wish people would stop thinking they have a breed when in fact they have a crossbred. Another clueless idiot back yard breeder making easy money by convincing thick people they're buying some sort of designer dog breed.

A poodle would have been a far more sensible choice for this family if only they had actually done some proper research. Why oh why don't people just do some reading and stop falling for fads?!!!

Poor baby will either have to go back or you could see if your reaction settles. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes trying to send that puppy back now even though it's probably the right thing to do.

You have a massive DP problem. He sounds a right dick.

For your allergies go to the GP and get eye drops, nose spray and prescription antihistamines. Bill your DP. Give it six weeks and then see how you are. Air filters will help, it will be the dander.

You will eventually develop immunity to her, but it can take time.

We adopted a stray cat many years ago, and I developed an allergy to him. By the time I realised why I was sniffing etc, it was too late (i was in love with him!). I took antihistamine and used an inhaler. He was banned from the bedroom, and I started showering before bed, which all helped. I no longer take antihistamine daily (just occasionally) and haven't used an inhaler for years. They still don't sleep on the bed, and I still shower before bed. We now have 2 cats and I rarely have a problem anymore.

PS. Your DP is a horrible, controlling d**d.

All I will say @Doggynono is that no caring partner would manipulate someone they love in this way.

You were an idiot to agree but he is awful to have pushed it.

Actually it's the decent breeders that could have a litter at any time of year because the decent breeders are breeding purely to improve their lines.

It's the puppy farmers/backyard breeders that have puppies for sale at this time of year that are dodgy because they breed for money and only money.

It's not actually hard to find a decent breeder. You have to use your due diligence and put your emotions to one side. If people didn't buy puppies from commercial breeders, they wouldn't exist.

I would only EVER buy from a show or working breeder and wouldn't touch someone who just bred for the sake of it with a 50ft bargepole.

Btw the government are doing their best to make it harder for genuine small hobby breeders (the best, most responsible breeders) and actively encouraging commercial breeding so we'll end up with even less good breeders.

Yes, I don't think the main problem here is the dog.

Is it definitely the dog causing your allergies??? You could try something stronger from the GP. You could also look into allergy testing to be sure. If you are allergic it’s not unreasonable to rehome but it’s rather silly of you and unfair on the dog to have entered into this when you weren’t really certain. I don’t know but is there any way your allergy would become desensitized over time? You could seek some expert help. I say all this as I do believe a dog does everyone in the household good, getting outside etc and it definitely brings people together in my experience x

A divorce would cost him more.

If you are allergic then you won't be able to live in the same house as the dog. If it is a very mild allergy it will be very unpleasant for you. You will have to take antihistamine which can make you sluggish and increase appetite so can cause weight gain if taken over long periods of time.

Hang on - dp? So you aren’t married? He can get to fuck then! Tell him to leave and take the dog with him is my advice! He sees how the dog is affecting you and doesn’t gives shit? You know this isn’t something that’s going to get better only worse? The allergies and then the dog will end up your responsibility because men like this don’t want to do the looking after just the owning!

They aren’t married if he’s a “dp”