Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

Well I suppose hating who you are beats benefits bashing.

You don't seem to have read up on the history of other countries. Scottish witch trials and their involvement in colonialism before the act of union as examples.

OP do you have an Irish grandparent? 😁

Why are you ‘embarrassed’? It’s not like you have to announce it to anyone fgs. Most people aren’t going to ask your heritage or what percentage of you is English. I’m super proud to be English. Ive travelled a lot, and the more countries I’ve visited, the more I appreciate how great we are as a nation. And I always eye roll when people start bleating about history and colonialism - most countries in the world haven’t behaved great in the past. But we’ve moved on. Just focus on the good and positive things in your life - family, friends, theatre, long country walks? Surely you have something to feel content about? It must be exhausting dwelling on so much negativity…

lol I’m a 90s kid but I think I remember that sketch, just can’t remember who it was.

anyone? 😄

Massive eye roll 🙄

If you look at global history of colonialism, you will see that the experiences and end of colonies ranged from bloody and chaotic to relatively peaceful and amicable. That is partly why we have a commonwealth. Every colonial power has terrible episodes which should not have happened. But it is a mistake to think all colonial experiences were the same.

I'm a proud English woman. I'm four generations away from the workhouse, and proud of it.

I don't let the flag shaggers get in the way of my love of GB.

I understand it's colonial past, and I regret it. In Ireland, in the West Indies in india and Africa. And I wonder why some don't understand that if you colonize a country, impose your language and culture in them, they might want to come here.

I'm not proud in the sense "my country can do no wrong", rather the opposite.

There are plenty like me who see what the country has done wrong, and accept it as a past. we should acknowledge, but not be weighed down by that. What counts, to me, is what we do in the future and now.

I hate that foreign aid is being cut. But I understand that armed forces need strengthening in the face of the lunatics that seem to be ruling elsewhere. So, hard choices.

It's just a form of main character syndrome

It was a German character, possibly Harry Enfield.

If we hadn't have colonised and lifted other countries out of the stone age, whilst they showed their gratitude by bestowing us with countless billions of resources and precious metals and jewels, do you think we'd even be a first world country now, let alone putting ourselves down on PC's ? Doubt if most now would even have electricity !

I wonder why you have married a toxic family that hate your culture? I think I would feel confused too. Do they have the benefit of living here too? Maybe it would have been better to marry into a family that had deep respect for you and your heritage op. They sound racist to me.

Ah yes that rings a bell 😆

Is this parody or are you really that arrogant?.

:))))))

Why don’t you move to a country where you feel you might fit in better if you hate the English so much?

Have you considered taking up bell ringing for example op?

I just googled it - Jurgen the German he was called 😂

All these people who hate us for things that happened many centuries before any of us were born

Yet strangely, they all want to be here......

My heritage isn't English, though I've lived here most of my life. I agree with you @Traballi about English heritage, and not sharing it is my 'get out clause' when it comes to discussions about it.
However, I'm forever grateful to this country for giving my immigrant parents the chances they never had at home ; and by implication, me too.
And whatever England's faults (many, many) it should be rightly proud to be one of the most progressive and tolerant countries the world has ever known.

@Traballi I would think it must be harder to be German tbh. It's still so recent and so horrible. But would you blame the child for the sins of his father? Ofcourse not, that's ridiculous. Instead of navelgazing and feeling guilty why don't you actively do something for other people? Join an organisation, donate to those working in former colonies if it makes you feel better.

Almost all countries have a history of colonisation/other. Spain, Portugal, France, Italy. Slavery in the US.

I would focus on now. Being Russian would be the worst for me. Sadly there are so many of them who have blood on their hands siding with their psychopath president.

I thought you'd likely be a lefty, who's fallen for the fashionable left-wing trope of hand-wringing over what are painted as England's uniquely awful past doings.

I'm actually saying this slightly tongue-in-cheek, as I'm left of centre, but I don't just swallow whole the progressive grab-bag of fashionable left-wing causes and positions. I like to read around a subject, listen to opinions from both sides of the political spectrum, think critically for myself, and then come to a view. I recommend it.

England and the UK have done some awful things in the past. As has just about every other nation. Awful things were done by authorities here to our own citizens. If we're talking about oppression, then the working and labouring classes in England have been royally shafted by the elites in this country for centuries.

England and the UK have also done some great things.

It's ok to be patriotic, or just not feel the need to fall over yourself to apologise for your country's past. There's no need to feel ashamed. Nationalism, which I think you're referring to when you mention Reform etc, is something very different.

yes 😂

The truth very often hurts.

Yes exactly! Because it is such a dreadful place!