Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

I would agree there's a special hatred reserved for us. I've come across it many times.

I speak DH language fluently and I hear comments and jokes about the English, people say them in front of me without realising. Doesn't make one feel great or proud tbh

Thanks, that's really interesting. My DH is English but DC all have two passports. All my family bar my parents are still in Ireland. I've never considered applying for citizenship myself, but you have made me think. What is it about the Good Friday Agreement has made you want to secure your status? Crossing my fingers you get it!

Obvious goady rage bait is obvious

Same.

I’m Irish and I can assure you that’s a tiny minority.

Just as I assume that the English people I met in the 20 years I lived in England who mocked my accent, assumed I was uneducated, backward and superstitious, and/or a member of the IRA were a tiny and unrepresentative minority.

Good God, woman! Listen to a bit of Jerusalem and get over yourself.

A 6x great grandfather 🤣

I’m an English person with Irish heritage and a large Irish family and I’m calling bollocks on this.

Honestly @Traballi your post is one of the most ridiculous, self indulgent things I’ve read in a long time.

Dublin was the centre of the white slave trade in Europe for hundreds of years, it’s pretty mad the history they teach in catholic schools to whitewash Irish history.

I second the bell ringing or whistling gently into the English breeze op? Breath in the scent of pine and oak, and embrace the beauty of this fine green land.

Eurgh…for god’s sake. People like you are what makes the world a miserable place. Instead of focusing on all the wonderful things about England or being English, you spend your time mentally self flagellating yourself because of your heritage,
most of which happened long before you were even born. It’s beyond dull, a waste of time, not to mention absolutely reeks of virtue signalling. I imagine most countries in the world have a somewhat murky history, not to mention many countries also have a colonialist background.

I personally love being English, and I love England. Do I condone atrocities from the past? No of course not. But the whole point of our history (no matter what country you’re from) is that we learn from the past and move forward. No good is ever going to come from punishing ourselves for things that happened hundreds of years before we were even born. We need to do what we can to ensure these things don’t happen again.

😂😅😂

Totally agree

I'm not English by blood but, if I were, I would be proud of it.
Has it ever occurred to you that the rise of Nationalism and the far right is in part a reaction to the narrative that ordinary English people should feel ashamed of their history?

I'm mostly English.

My dad was proud to be English - not in a facist kind of way but more the local place heritage. I think when you consider that you're not English but maybe a brum, from.cornwall, Sheffield or Manchester it can change your views a bit. Also if your ancestors are working class its unlikely they're oppressors anyway. And finally maybe tie less identity to your heritage. You are not those people. So reframe your identity.

These DNA tests are rubbish. English, Scottish etc are nationalities not ethnicities. I also would not be sending my DNA to some random company!

OP were your ancestors all from the aristocracy? Because they were the ones in power and making decisions, whilst the rest of us were down mines, working in factories and labouring in farms. Maybe focusing on the huge contributions the English have made to the world in terms of art, literature, music and theatre would be less problematic for you? Also worth bearing in mind that Britain wasn’t the only colonial power or the only one involved in slavery. Many countries have dubious histories when viewed through modern eyes. And I say that as someone with a spread of Welsh, Irish, Scots and English DNA! Also second what @MrsTerryPratchettsays.

Ummmm. OP please tell us you are still here on the thread, or perhaps you are placing your flag in the garden as we speak amongst the fairy lights of your street, and your beating heart feels something approaching a calm strength of heritage and love in your heart...

Am I missing something? You don’t “seem” English because half of you are German!

This is the most ridiculous, self flagellating post I think I have ever read on this site. Utterly pathetic. There’s not a nation/society in history that hasn’t behaved horrendously at some point. Additionally it’s just so weird that such a terrible country attracts so many people wanting to come here to live and make a life isn’t it?

you're right there's a special kind of xenophobia saved for the English, don't be brainwashed by it. Many nations have an unsavoury past. Slavery was global and we took an active role in ending it so try to be proud. Maybe pop a flag in your front garden

Spot on. It’s almost like there’s an agenda since the advent of social media to try and make us ashamed of our country 🤔

Don’t fall for it.

Do you hate Germans or think they should be ashamed of where they’re from bc of what their grandparents did in the war? Of course not.

Don’t be so bloody daft. If I had the time to go around worrying about being ashamed of my heritage - first world problems or what.

Aye, but that was the Viking’s slave trade - not the Irish’s!

A mere detail.... Amongst many inconsistencies...

Amazing thanks!

Oh do give over.