Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

OP would you like to share what you've done as an English person that you feel embarassed about ? We've all done silly things, I'm sure it's nothing to beat yourself up over.

The English actually did a lot of good (as well as bad things) in the countries they went to. Do some in-depth research - it was not all bad. Some of the practices of those lands - especially towards women and children were horrendous.
England is also the cradle of democracy and has the mother of Parliaments

I'm half English

I find English cringe excruciatingly spoilt nonsense

It’s also Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Burney, Defoe, Austen, Shelley, Wordsworth, Coleridge, George Eliot, Thackeray, Tennyson, the Brontes, Dickens, Hardy, Forster, Woolf, West, Larkin, Auden, Orwell, Waugh, Wodehouse, Spark, Hughes etc etc.

You have an incredible literary heritage. I’d be proud to be from a country that had spawned that.

That's nice to hear. Most Irish people I've met absolutely hate us

4/10

Agree. It's embarrassing that ignorant people dominate discourse now.

I know I’ve met many Germans who have this attitude!

It’s interesting because countries like Belgium who did heinous things in the Congo under Leopold for example don’t seem to have the same shame.

This isn't right of them. I work with people of all races, including English, without feeling the need to bring up past conflicts.

This.

The battle of bamber bridge 😄

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Bamber_Bridge

Perhaps see if you can find a hairshirt in the sales

Perhaps you might be happier moving to another country. I believe the likes of Iran and Afghanistan are very nice
Especially if you are female
I would be happy to contribute to your air fare 😊
Ill even drive you to the airport 🤣

Oh gosh I watched one last week -it was background noise really - I had to stop working and really listen to what they were saying - they had completely veered away from being factual and heavily leaned in to political opinion. And it did make me wonder who had produced it. It’s a bit naughty really as most trust them to be factual and of course history is written by the conqueror but there was definitely some revisionism going on.

Liberating France! Imagine how those Normandy villagers must’ve felt when the allies started arriving.

ditto concentration camps!

Yes! Its worth watching the YouTubes about it - always makes me tearful.

Many of the great estates in England were not so much built on the profits from slavery, but more the incredibly generous government/crown payments that were offered to stop the slavery willingly, and to move to a more equitable working model. It was eventually used all across Europe. No one can be 'proud' of people trafficking or the terrible harm it caused, but we can be proud that we took action when we did.

No you're right there's a special kind of xenophobia saved for the English, don't be brainwashed by it. Many nations have an unsavoury past. Slavery was global and we took an active role in ending it so try to be proud. Maybe pop a flag in your front garden?

I think the study of human history in longform would be of benefit to the op

I'm waiting for my 23&me tests to come back. I won't be 98% English, that's for sure, although I appear to be v v English.

Respectfully @Traballi

Maternal grandfather: Russian, left Russia 1917, arriving in England via China and India in 1921. England granted entry - the Russians would have killed thwm if thwy hadn't got away.

Maternal grandmother, 1/2 English - traces back to the Scottish Lowlands c1400; her grandad came to England as an economic migrant from Ireland in 1830 - otherwise would have died of starvation.

Father - German/Jewish, he arrived in the UK in 1938 - the rest of his family perished.

Paternal grandfather: Russian/Polish, Ashkenazi - family fled Russian/Poland a generation or two previously.

Paternal grandmother: Spanish/Portugese Sephardic - family fled to Spain/Portugal in the 15th Century - her farher became a rabbi in Poland.

If it weren't for England, my father and other grandparents would be dead.

May I gently suggest you read a little more history. But thank you and all the other English people for saving most of my family.

This is inappropriate but who was that comedian who used to do the “I must apologise for my countries conduct during the war” sketch in the 80s? 😭😂

English humour and arts are amazing too

I'm proud to be English, it is the best country and I'm horrified to see what it is becoming. I'm annoyed by so many being ashamed of their country due to faux-history being so popular and pushed by those with an agenda.

No problem - there's been an agreement between the Irish and British governments to streamline the process.

I now don't have any family in Ireland, they've moved to a third country and Scotland has been my home for 18 years. I basically don't go back to Ireland.

I have a dual Irish/British child. My husband and I decided to naturalise because after Brexit, and with recent comments about the Good Friday Agreement, we wanted to be absolutely secure in our status here. A bit belt and braces but there you are. Also I do think after spending years in another country, many people do naturalise so I'll be delighted if I'm allowed to have dual citizenship which reflects what my life is.

Still waiting to hear from the Home Office. Am planning to go out and celebrate if I do get it.

We are not the only nation that colonised, that had slaves etc. We were not the only country that had an empire. We are not the only country with a past we can learn from.
I really dont understand all this

Me too. In fact I went on TikTok after your post for a good cry about it 😁