I am very upset that I haven't been asked to be my sister's bridesmaid.

[Lottie585]

Let me preface this with - I will absolutely get over it but ...

My little sister told me on Christmas Day that she has decided to ask her five friends to be her bridesmaids. She said that she is worried that I won't have lost my baby weight by the date of her wedding (I'm pregnant now and the baby will be 10 months old), plus I will have 3 kids to look after and she thinks I won't have the time to make her the certain of attention.

Most likely an excellent point because yes my kids are very important to me.

Why do I feel so bad about this? I've clearly romanticised this in my head. She was my bridesmaid. I would have loved to be hers. I'm also 13 weeks pregnant - so hormonal! But I'm sad 😂 am I being unreasonable?

Do you mean youngest child stereotype. Stereotype for middle child is neglected, ignored and just copes and gets on with it. She sounds more youngest child stereotype

Regardless, it definitely sounds like your dodged a bullet. She's a total bridzella in the making.

Sorry op, your sister sounds VERY shallow. And mean. Who the hell cares whether you’ve lost your baby weight by then?

Tbh, it sounds like you are best off out of it! She sounds like a drama queen
and it might be an unpopular opinion but the kind of weddings where adults have 5 / 6 adults as bridesmaids freak me out anyway!

Yabu, you don't sound like you'll be able to fulfill bridesmaid duties. Of course she should be the centre of attention at her own wedding.

You missed her engagement party because your kids had chicken pox? And your husband/ their dad was available. I can see why she'd doesn't think she'll be your priority at her wedding.

I alwasy thought middle child stereotype was that they are hugely attention seeking/ drama Queens because otherwise they get ignored.

She sounds vacuous. (I’m a middle child but not vacuous).

She's...... a lot.
Wow.

"not lost the baby weight" "needs to be the centre of attention"
well she can fuck off to fuckoffville and stay there.

You're well out of it OP. Have a few drinks and enjoy watching your little ones tearing around amidst the careful seating plan.

If those are her reasons then you had a lucky escape.

Sounds like wedding is a photo shoot and not a family occasion.

The comment about baby weight was unnecessary but you’ll have 3 kids by the time the wedding rolls around so she’s probably right about your attention (understandably) being elsewhere.

Is not showing up to her engagement party the tip of the iceberg im terms of your reliability? She might just not want a bridesmaid who’s prone to being flaky.

Your sister sounds like a bit of a cunt.

I'd be waiting for the "it's a child free wedding".

😄 I would just not involve myself in the wedding at all then

Dont mention it, dont bring it up, reply politely if she does

You sound healthier than me though, so i'm sure your relationship will recover.

She said that she is worried that I won't have lost my baby weight by the date of her wedding

Is she really a nasty piece of work or is she just giving a good imitation of one?

As a big sister myself I’d be gutted at this. She should have told you before she asked her friends for starters and as for the weight thing that’s just hurtful. You’ve definitely dodged a bullet.

you feel bad about it as she’s been a total bitch if she used those words. So much agro being a bridesmaid, I’d stay well clear and just focus on having a good time.

Sound like a bitch.

Lucky escape.

I take it you are familiar with the term Bridezilla? Well that’s what you have here. A Bridezilla.

Awww. I understand both sides. I always think of being a bridesmaid as a young women thing, not a mum of 3 to be honest. Bridesmaid work- helping her get ready and carrying her stuff- seems pretty immature and trivial compared to attending as a family of 5.

i can understand why she’d rather someone completely focus on that, and understand why you’d want to be involved x

Middle children are usually seen as mediators and left to cope - I think it’s the stereotype of the youngest you mean?

Whilst the weight thing is rude to say to someone every wedding I’ve had intimate knowledge of involves a bridesmaid on a weight loss crusade who doesn’t make it. My own involved hysterical crying, re buying of dresses and a suggestion everyone changes their dress to match the new “unable to fit into it after all” party. I felt so sorry for her but god it was hassle. Took up days

Because you wouldn’t have lost the baby weight? She sounds revolting

My understanding is the stereotype is that because they get less attention than the older and the younger children, they are more independent and self-reliant and tend to be peacemakers.

She was unreasonable to speak to you that way. That’s a horrible way to phrase something.

I didn’t know sisters could be bridesmaids or that that would be considered. I thought sisters were sisters and a wedding traditional enough to have bridesmaids they would be friends or much younger relatives. Is there a brother equivalent?