MIL gave children gifts from a homeless charity for christmas!

[Jellyworms]

Thats it really, just a bit taken aback!

MIL is a strange one at the best of times, always expects but never wants to give. She didnt get my children (her first and only grandchildren aged 2 and 4) anything last year but asked my dh why we didnt gift her anything. Anyway, fast forward to this christmas.

she came over for christmas day with two big paper bags full of toys for both my children, i was shocked as the only thing shes ever brought them is a pair of socks.. children both started opening said gifts when my dd bought me over a piece of paper that was inside to read im assuming thinking it was a christmas card.
i started reading and to my absoloute horror it said “merry christmas from community assosiation” then at the bottom had a box ticked boy x girl x age and packed by x x x

i was absoloutley shocked, didnt make a thing of it until she had left later in the evening when i bought it up to dh. He completley didnt understand the situation and brushed it off.

googled the charity and its a homeless charity for children and adults facing homelessness and fleeing abuse (none of which she is!) no idea how on earth shes wrangled this but im absoloutley seething with anger at her for being so selfish taking from vulnerable children, lying and also not giving two hoots about her grandchildren that she cant even purchase them a gift.
the gifts were gorgeous and worth id say £60 per child easily that people have clearly bought to donate in good will.

What would you do? Do i confront her? Do i tell the chairty?

Your MIL is a low life scumbag!
Your DH should confront her and I would never buy her ANYTHING ever again!

Of course there are a whole lot of scenarios it could be but it doesn't take away from the fact that the MIL took two gifts from a charity that were meant to go to vulnerable people - and handed them over to her daughter in law to give the kids

I don't have lots of cash. If I were really skint I would buy a couple of toys from a charity shop or pound land or home bargains

What I wouldn't do is ask for a charity donation that's meant to be handed to someone poor and vulnerable who has nothing else for Christmas. Because the OPs kids are not in this situation

She's taken 120 pounds worth of gifts from a charity and those gifts were meant to go to children whos mum is homeless or fleeing domestic violence. This should never ever have been allowed to happen.

I don't have lots of money. I don't even use a local food bank because there are people who need it more than I do

She's told this charity that her daughter in law is in dire need - because that's the only way she would have got a present like this

Well it’s how my local charity works - they were selling wrapped donated presents just before Christmas, which were marked with children’s age and gender. It may well be that the mother in law DID take the presents under false pretences but the OP hasn’t said that she knows for certain that this is the case because it appears that rather than asking the mother in law how she came to get the presents, she’s just seethed ever since.

The charity are also at fault here - clearly there aren't enough checks in place to ensure that the gifts are going to someone who really needs it.

Speaking as someone who gives to a similar charity - I would be hugely upset if my donation ended up at a family who have money to buy their own gifts - because this is not what this is supposed to be about

It’s not the only way. The charity could be giving it away or a member of staff is. There is plenty of corruption and poor performance in charities.

Yeah I can see your point here.

Reading this has made me feel slightly sick.

Reading some of the discrepancies, and the thread linked further up where another MNetter had an almost identical problem at exactly the same time but with her actual mum, might make you feel better.

I don't believe this. The OP made it clear that these presents were meant to go to families of people fleeing violence or who were homeless - why would the charity give 120 pounds of gifts to someone who isn't?

Of course this charity have messed up - but no member of staff should be handing over 120 pounds worth of gifts to someone whos grandkids are not vulnerable. Someone bought that in good faith thinking it would go to someone in great need

Fucking hell, she’s atrocious. The only justification there could possibly be, is if she volunteered for the charity over Christmas and these toys were unclaimed.
She doesn’t sound the type to help others at all though!

It clearly does, but you seem to have difficulty understanding

Because it’s just some volunteer giving a back hander to their mate? Or maybe even selling it £120 worth of donation for £30.

do you really think people in charities don’t do this sort of thing? Either way it’s demonstrably a charity with poor controls so pretty much anything is possible right?

They'll give them to other organisations that need the gifts in most cases

As do you if you haven't realised this has been addressed more than once already.

It absolutely would not happen in the charity that I've been donating to over the past few years. Every gift is handed over to the people who need it. It's well run and professional

One consistent lie would make more sense.

Not at all actually, you are the only one as others have clearly understood ❤️. I hope you make it one day

That's a shame. Even if they're unopened? I guess then sell them and give profit to the charity, or just donate something of same value to them?

The charity that I donate to. I don't get access to staff until I drop the gifts off. That's it. No one would be able to turn up to their offices and say - I need a gift. You pledge online and you are emailed a code that you write on a piece of paper when you donate so people know who donated them so they can tick you off the list

There are no staff selling the gifts or handing them out to people who say they need them. Every gift is accounted for

As a pp said above it could be a Community Pantry set up to avoid food waste and available to all. I volunteer for an actual Foodbank and you can't get anything without a voucher from Social Services, Citizen's advice, housing department etc.

Possibly if they were still in the packaging but not otherwise. The charity I donate to ask people to buy new and not second hand

You really need to read the thread again but properly this time " ♥ "

Some food banks don't require referrals. One in my area doesn't. Anyone can use it

Absolutely this. I also volunteer for the Trussel Trust.

That will be a community pantry not a foodbank.