Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

429 replies

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

OP posts:
PossumHollow · 28/12/2025 19:52

Poor guy. He fell asleep after a long and busy day. I wouldn’t be embarrassed about that. My husband had two naps on Christmas Day because he falls asleep super easily but he still cooked dinner and helped with the kids and I don’t begrudge him it. I just woke him up gently. If it was 8.30 and he was snoring loudly I would just wake him more forcefully and help him to the bedroom. I’d be very annoyed with my mum being so ungrateful and rude about him and I’d tell her
so. You should have your husband’s back to your mum not allow her to badmouth him.

phoenixrosehere · 28/12/2025 19:52

OP said her mum said he shouldn’t have drunk so much but OP didn’t see him as drunk but said he had a bit while cooking all of the meals.

Was he drunk or not OP?

SchoolDilemma17 · 28/12/2025 19:54

PossumHollow · 28/12/2025 19:52

Poor guy. He fell asleep after a long and busy day. I wouldn’t be embarrassed about that. My husband had two naps on Christmas Day because he falls asleep super easily but he still cooked dinner and helped with the kids and I don’t begrudge him it. I just woke him up gently. If it was 8.30 and he was snoring loudly I would just wake him more forcefully and help him to the bedroom. I’d be very annoyed with my mum being so ungrateful and rude about him and I’d tell her
so. You should have your husband’s back to your mum not allow her to badmouth him.

This!
you are all overdramatic.
he was tired and fell asleep in his OWN house, nothing embarrassing about that.
your mum sounds uptight and is rude not to thank for a meal.

Endofyear · 28/12/2025 19:54

I think my dad and Uncle fell asleep every Christmas after dinner and there was always a bit of snoring 😂 isn't that all part of family life? Dad would wake up, do the washing up and make some sandwiches and tea after his kip so it's not like he didn't do anything. Isn't everyone allowed to over-indulge a little bit at Christmas?

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 28/12/2025 19:54

phoenixrosehere · 28/12/2025 19:52

OP said her mum said he shouldn’t have drunk so much but OP didn’t see him as drunk but said he had a bit while cooking all of the meals.

Was he drunk or not OP?

Edited

So why are posters assuming he had to be drunk?
Because it's MN. 😁

Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair · 28/12/2025 19:54

Very OTT unless as others have said, he has a drink problem.

Christmas week is very tiring, out of routine, we don't know what day it is. All the hype and build up.

To be honest I'm nodding off now, no booze involved! If someone mentioned let's play games now I'd be taking myself up to bed which would appear even worse.

Flintgranet · 28/12/2025 19:55

Forget your Mum (who really should thank him for the meal no matter his later behaviour).

You found his bahaviour embarrassing. So you're not okay with it either.

In your honest opinion, OP, does dh drink too much? Does his drinking cause you concern?

This is one of those posts where it may be completely fine or a symptom of something much bigger.

AD1509 · 28/12/2025 19:55

I’ve been hosting straight through, every night, from the 22nd and will be to the 5th for family visiting- some from overseas. If they take offence to me having an exhausted snooze on my own sofa after attending to them all day they can take a big jump into the CF bin. I have scarified all of my holiday for them- they can listen to my snoring and enjoy it!

awrbc81 · 28/12/2025 19:58

It is quite bad behaviour, I’d be a bit embarrassed if my DH did this, I’d have at least tried to wake him up to move to bed so we didn’t have to hear him snoring. I doubt my mum would have made a big deal out of it though

lazyarse123 · 28/12/2025 19:59

Before i retied i regularly fell asleep in the chair complete with snoring and sometimes while someone was talking. Did they get arsey about it? No they just laughed and left me too it.
But then my family aren't judgemental twats and i can do what i like in my house.

Aimtodobetter · 28/12/2025 20:00

Your mother should relax - he cooked her a nice meal and then its not unusual as people get older for the old snooze on the couch.

UneAnneeSansLumiere · 28/12/2025 20:01

No wonder he needed a drink if your mother is normally as rude as that. I don't understand why so many people on here tiptoe around rude old people. I don't think being old gives anyone a pass for rudeness.

BrightLeader · 28/12/2025 20:02

I don't see there is any reason to be embarrassed for him . Christmas prep is time consuming. Good on him doing the food tbh. Your mum should be embarrassed for not saying thankyou.

DanialLand · 28/12/2025 20:02

Every year one of us falls asleep on Xmas day. If we’re staying over at my parents, you can guarantee that one of us will fall asleep on Boxing Day too. Combination of cooking tiredness, heat from the kitchen, too much food and too much booze. It’s the norm. We usually take bets on who’s going to knock out first and then start placing things on them and taking funny pictures. I just can’t see the harm in it. Yes, maybe he should have just gone to bed but it’s Xmas and he’d been cooking. Your mum needs to lighten up. She’s not really a guest, she’s family and it’s very rude of her not to thank him for the meal. He fell asleep unintentionally. Yes, maybe too much drink led to that but he wasn’t being spiteful and purposely sleeping to annoy her. Not thanking him is deliberate and spiteful

MaidOfSteel · 28/12/2025 20:03

Why can’t your husband fall asleep in his own living room. Your mother is rude not to thank him for all he did in making a lovely meal for you all. I wouldn’t be inviting her back if she doesn’t.

clary · 28/12/2025 20:05

Crikey I cannot believe anyone would worry.

I spent a chunk of my time from 22 to 24 Dec prepping the meal, then a good deal of 25 Dec morning cooking it; it was yummy and well received (I'm not looking for a medal or anything, I enjoy doing it); later in the afternoon I had a nap on the sofa.

I must admit when I woke I was a bit anxious to make sure our guest (NDN) was out on a walk with DH at the time, but even if not – if someone cooks me a nice meal I will deffo forgive them a snooze. Even if they snore.

Lindy2 · 28/12/2025 20:05

Thankfully I live in a very relaxed family. No one would have batted an eyelid at anyone who enjoyed a boxing day meal, had a drink and then had an afternoon nap on the sofa. It sounds like a very nice, chilled boxing day to be honest.

They might have had a little prod now and again to reduce the snoring volume but there would be no embarrassment, judgement or any issues at all in fact.

I have very fond memories of my dear grandad having after lunch naps. He used to say he was just resting his eyes (while being sound asleep on the sofa). I also don't regard my mum, MIL, grandparents, cousins, siblings etc as guests. They're family.

I'm so grateful for my loving, relaxed family. I can't imagine any family member being so stuffy that they were embarrassed by a person relaxing in their own home at Christmas. I wouldn't be inviting them back to be honest. I think your mum is the rude one here not your husband especially the decision not to thank him for preparing the meal.

Biskieboo · 28/12/2025 20:07

She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

Well I'm sure he'll be devastated. Or he won't give a shit. Personally I wouldn't give a shit as your mum sounds - being polite - a little bit highly strung.

Pineapplewaves · 28/12/2025 20:08

My Grandad used to fall asleep after Christmas lunch and sleep in the armchair snoring loudly. We all thought it was funny, it’s what happens when people are full of lovely food and wine and the house is warm from the central heating and the cooking. You DM needs to lighten up. If I was your DH and your DM didn’t say thank you she wouldn’t be getting an invite next year.

Why didn’t you wake your DH if you were embarrassed though?

FusionChefGeoff · 28/12/2025 20:08

A very possible version of this story from the other perspective could be that the DH shut himself away in the kitchen as a way to ignore visitors and his kids and as an excuse to drink. He then got absolutely rat arsed and fell asleep as soon as dinner was over.

Which I suspect would have got some very different responses??

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 28/12/2025 20:08

FusionChefGeoff · 28/12/2025 20:08

A very possible version of this story from the other perspective could be that the DH shut himself away in the kitchen as a way to ignore visitors and his kids and as an excuse to drink. He then got absolutely rat arsed and fell asleep as soon as dinner was over.

Which I suspect would have got some very different responses??

Why are we just making stuff up now 😂

freakingscared · 28/12/2025 20:09

My husband did the same and while my pare ts where fine about it , I am not abd he had been warned it must have been the first and the last as it is embarrassing . Thankfully he rarely drinks this way or I wouldn’t tolerate it at all

cantbearsed247 · 28/12/2025 20:09

Can't people go the whole day without falling asleep - try going to bed a decent time is my advice! I'm sure he gets through a day at work without falling asleep.

It's lovely that he made lunch but I wouldn't be impressed OP, making lunch isn't such an impressive feat that anyone who does it has to have a sleep afterwards. He had a guest and he's there snoring his head off. I'd have just given him a good shake and told him it's 3 in the afternoon not 3 in the morning and the kids want to play some games.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2025 20:10

Your mum is being a rude guest. I fell asleep briefly at my sister's on Christmas Day. I hadn't had much sleep the previous 2 nights, not much rest since finishing a mad term at work, and had general post-viral lack of energy after being ill in October. I had 4 glasses of fizz over a period of many hours so I guess that combination of things meant falling asleep for 20 mins was inevitable.

If anyone had told me I was rude for falling asleep I would have been mightily pissed off. The last time I'd been that tired and kept falling asleep in company it turned out I was low in iron and was on iron tablets for a few months afterwards.

Perhaps your DH was just knackered. She's a cheeky cow to complain about HIM being tired after spending ages cooking for her!

EmeraldDreams73 · 28/12/2025 20:11

JamesClyman · 28/12/2025 19:02

She's not a "guest" she's family. Why can't he fall asleep if he wants to in his own home and, come to that, why didn't you wake him if he was snoring?

YABU.

This