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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

429 replies

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

OP posts:
4forksache · 28/12/2025 20:11

“Oh mum, that goes to show just how tired he has been. I’m not surprised he fell into such a deep sleep at the first opportunity to fully relax, especially with a full stomach and a couple of glasses of wine. He obviously needed it.”

Tinsles · 28/12/2025 20:13

Not ideal behaviour from your husband, but your mother sounds like a dose.
If this isn't a regular issue and a problem in your marriage and home, then your mother is plain rude and presumptuous.

Tell her its best she doesn't visit if she finds it difficult to behave HERSELF, as you don't want to hear it.

I definitely remember seeing grandparents dosing on Christmas day after lunch, they had no more than a sherry or two.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2025 20:13

Lindy2 · 28/12/2025 20:05

Thankfully I live in a very relaxed family. No one would have batted an eyelid at anyone who enjoyed a boxing day meal, had a drink and then had an afternoon nap on the sofa. It sounds like a very nice, chilled boxing day to be honest.

They might have had a little prod now and again to reduce the snoring volume but there would be no embarrassment, judgement or any issues at all in fact.

I have very fond memories of my dear grandad having after lunch naps. He used to say he was just resting his eyes (while being sound asleep on the sofa). I also don't regard my mum, MIL, grandparents, cousins, siblings etc as guests. They're family.

I'm so grateful for my loving, relaxed family. I can't imagine any family member being so stuffy that they were embarrassed by a person relaxing in their own home at Christmas. I wouldn't be inviting them back to be honest. I think your mum is the rude one here not your husband especially the decision not to thank him for preparing the meal.

Edited

Exactly this!

I suppose the only solution in future is for people to lie to their inlaws about not feeling well and needing to go and lie down, and to go and have a nap upstairs instead.

If someone needs a sleep, they need a sleep!

It's not the same as "going the whole day at work without falling asleep" - adrenaline keeps us going when we're busy with activity. But when we sit down after being busy if we're very tired then yes, often it's possible to fall asleep if you're low on energy. What's the big deal?

billiongulls · 28/12/2025 20:13

I mean, does he often drink too much and fall asleep? If yes, it's a problem. If no, then it's not.

Sally2791 · 28/12/2025 20:13

No big deal! She should still thank him

Tryingatleast · 28/12/2025 20:15

Most people I know slept on either Christmas Day or the following day, drunk over Christmas isn’t that big a deal really. If he hadn’t cooked I’d have said it wasn’t great

Manename · 28/12/2025 20:15

Was this the main celebration of Christmas for your mother, while you have been running around for days?

DemelzaandRoss · 28/12/2025 20:18

I think your DH was extremely rude.
If you had visited his parents & lay asleep snoring for hours, the same would be said of you.
It doesn’t matter that it was Christmas, she doesn’t live with you, she is a guest.
He should apologise. As a grown up person, he should be able to handle alcohol better.

MandemChickenShop · 28/12/2025 20:19

I don't think your Mum likes your husband so is being over the top about this.

If she's not thanking you both for hosting her, specifically for his falling asleep, she's being really petty and pathetic.

tigger1001 · 28/12/2025 20:20

Do people really get uptight about this? It's such a non issue.

however your mum is very rude not to thank him for cooking - personally I wouldn't invite her back if that was me.

FollowSpot · 28/12/2025 20:22

DemelzaandRoss · 28/12/2025 20:18

I think your DH was extremely rude.
If you had visited his parents & lay asleep snoring for hours, the same would be said of you.
It doesn’t matter that it was Christmas, she doesn’t live with you, she is a guest.
He should apologise. As a grown up person, he should be able to handle alcohol better.

Going as a guest to someone else’s house, where they cook you two meals and flaking out is not the same as a host who provides two meals and then falls asleep on his own sofa.

Ally886 · 28/12/2025 20:26

DemelzaandRoss · 28/12/2025 20:18

I think your DH was extremely rude.
If you had visited his parents & lay asleep snoring for hours, the same would be said of you.
It doesn’t matter that it was Christmas, she doesn’t live with you, she is a guest.
He should apologise. As a grown up person, he should be able to handle alcohol better.

Every Sunday my father does a roast then falls asleep. His house. His food. His family that love him.

Apologise?! You have got to have been on the sherry

Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 28/12/2025 20:26

'That's fine mum. In this house we're comfortable enough with each other in this house that we don't begrudge each other falling asleep but if you're not then perhaps you'd be better finding somewhere else to spend Christmas next year. Sorry our Christmas wasn't to your taste'

Ally886 · 28/12/2025 20:27

cantbearsed247 · 28/12/2025 20:09

Can't people go the whole day without falling asleep - try going to bed a decent time is my advice! I'm sure he gets through a day at work without falling asleep.

It's lovely that he made lunch but I wouldn't be impressed OP, making lunch isn't such an impressive feat that anyone who does it has to have a sleep afterwards. He had a guest and he's there snoring his head off. I'd have just given him a good shake and told him it's 3 in the afternoon not 3 in the morning and the kids want to play some games.

We had 14 round. Everyone fell asleep after Christmas lunch. You must be weirdly wired

Poodlelove · 28/12/2025 20:29

He cooked for everyone though , bless him.

I would have woken my husband and told him to lie down upstairs.

Your mum was rude , but you should have woken him up .

NancyJoan · 28/12/2025 20:34

cantbearsed247 · 28/12/2025 20:09

Can't people go the whole day without falling asleep - try going to bed a decent time is my advice! I'm sure he gets through a day at work without falling asleep.

It's lovely that he made lunch but I wouldn't be impressed OP, making lunch isn't such an impressive feat that anyone who does it has to have a sleep afterwards. He had a guest and he's there snoring his head off. I'd have just given him a good shake and told him it's 3 in the afternoon not 3 in the morning and the kids want to play some games.

Well, except he was cooking all afternoon, making lunch and then also dinner so couldn’t play with the kids, and was asleep at 8:30pm, not 3pm, which is not far off bedtime for a lot of people.

Italiangreyhound · 28/12/2025 20:38

I always sleep on Christmas day after lunch, and I barely drink. I think it is fine.

IamnotSethRogan · 28/12/2025 20:39

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 19:08

I did try to wake him several times but he was so gone that he just kept falling back asleep again.
It was embarassing.

I think you might think like that because you grew up with your particularly repressed mother. 8:30 on boxing day is pretty acceptable. Christmas, then boxing day are exhausting as fuck. Let the man sleep. Your mum is rude

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/12/2025 20:41

A bit tired and dozing on the sofa, wakes up easily and goes off to bed - fine.

Gets twatted and zonks out across the couch stinking of booze and rattling the windows - not fine.

PurpleThistle7 · 28/12/2025 20:45

I genuinely cannot stand the sound of snoring. But I’d either wake him up myself or go in another room, no need to be passive aggressive about it. So basically I think it’s ridiculous for him to take over a room with snoring (though no issue with him going to sleep as he likes!) and I think it’s equally ridiculous that your mum did nothing at the time and is now annoyed with you after.

Growlybear83 · 28/12/2025 20:51

Why was it embarrassing for you and your mum that your husband fell asleep and snored? Does it really matter if he had a bit too much to drink while he was cooking a meal in his own house? Presumably he wasn’t paralytic if he was able to cook.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 28/12/2025 20:59

Couldn’t get worked up about and I think your mum is rude. I’ve been exhausted over Christmas and alcohol makes me more sleepy - could have easily fallen asleep at points!

him falling asleep in his own house on his sofa after he cooked two meals - so what?

him falling asleep and him cooking a meal aren’t related so your mum is being petty not saying thank you or to even use it as a threat! He prob won’t care.

I would had laughed and moved to a different room.

what do you think OP?

ohfourfoxache · 28/12/2025 20:59

Your mum sounds like a dickhead

So he fell asleep - big deal 🙄

viques · 28/12/2025 21:03

I would have poked him awake and suggested he take himself off to bed rather than sit and listened to him snoring. And sleeping on the sofa isn’t comfortable anyway and also means no one else can sit there!

BlackCat14 · 28/12/2025 21:04

Your mum is being ridiculous. It’s not great that he fell asleep and was snoring loudly, but at the same time it’s Boxing Day, he’s had a busy day cooking etc… is it the worst thing ever? But for her to purposely say she’s not going to thank him for the meal is so petty, childish, rude… I could go on!