Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

^This.

Just don't engage with her stupid.

He's spent a long time in the kitchen, had a beer or 3 or 4 and once his "provide food for family" duty was done he conked out on the sofa.

Good for him!

I’d be mortified if my Mum was so rude about my husband! It’s Christmas, he’d been cooking for her and hosting her all day. What a mean old bag.

Your mum is BU. I think it's pretty normal Boxing Day behaviour. I would have just woken him and told him to go to bed. If you can't have a drink, a meal and a snooze in your own house with family around then what's the point?

I would find this quite funny, I mean, I might tell them to go to bed, but it just isn't a bad thing to fall asleep in my household, I've even snoozed off at my parents a few times over the years in front of a lovely fire. It wasn't personal to your mum and it's silly to take it that way.

The rude one was your mum, and frankly you OP. It's your house, take your guest elsewhere, or send the snorer to snore in a bed.

It's bizarre to just sit there feeling very uncomfortable, it's your house!

Unless he was very obviously drunk and behaving badly prior to his nap, I’m not sure why your mother is so annoyed and embarrassed. If DH dropped off on the couch after cooking for everybody, he’d get a few indulgent smiles and possibly a blanket draped over him if we were feeling generous.

My grandpa always falls asleep snoring after any meal and he’s always done it. We have fun with it though - sometimes we film having funny conversations with him, sometimes we play buckaroo on him. When we are chatting in the room or playing games he randomly chimes in with hilarious responses or answers lol.
I guess he couldn’t help it but also why is he cooking so many meals on Boxing Day?!
we just have leftovers/ chessboard etc literally no cooking the day after Christmas. Maybe can try that next year and he might have more energy later on

You should have told him to go to bed really

Complete non brainer. So what if your husband fell asleep and shock horror snored? ! Your mother is diabolical. He prob drank more than usual to cope with her evil ways tbf

I was exhausted and went to bed before 9pm on boxing day as I could feel myself dropping off ( normally stay up until around 11ish most nights). Although Boxing day for us was pretty chilled, the lead up to Christmas was full on, and then of course the day itself, all.up early etc. I was just exhausted, so I don't think someone falling asleep during the christmas period is such a terrible thing..However , I would have woken him up and forced him up to bed if he was snoring so loudly as that is not fun for anyone to listen to.

Sounds great. Well done to him. No problem in my house if he fell asleep in front of DM. She’d probably put a blanket over him.

Your mum would be mortified by my relatives then.

Usually 3-4 people about who have fallen asleep and we just leave them to it (no alcohol involved, a mix of age and tired from working). If you can’t fall asleep around your own family in your own home in the evening, where can you?

Yea, he could have gone upstairs but your mum could have also left if it offended her so much. You were awake and she’s family not some random guest.

Unless he has a problem with alcohol, this is such a non issue.

We host Christmas Day and I’m knackered come Boxing Day.

If I had a full day of cooking and cleaning up again on Boxing Day too, I’d probably be sleeping by 8.30pm on the sofa.

So many posts about ungrateful guests on Mumsnet over the past couple of days.

Be sure to let your husband know so that he can chose whether or not to cook for your mum again.

8.30pm on Boxing Day is a perfectly reasonable time for a tired parent to fall asleep on their own sofa after cooking a big meal. Your mum sounds po faced and uptight.

Your mother should thank him for the meal - he cooked the food before he fell asleep. But I wonder if she was worried about you, seeing your husband dead to the world so early because he was full of booze - perhaps she worries that he's like this all the time and you're left to deal with the kids every night while he snoozes his time away without a care in the world?

I'm not a 'napper' and therefore do find it rather rude when adults fall asleep after inviting me round, but I know that others don't have the same problem and it's regarded as perfectly normal. Only you and your mum know why she was so concerned about your DH falling asleep.

If it was just a random day I would sympathise with your mum, but I think on Boxing Day after cooking all day your husband was obviously knackered and she should relax about it.

You definitely should have woke him up to go to bed though, it’s not fun having someone napping on the sofa when you’re trying to entertain kids. But yeah your mum is a drama Queen.

Yes!

If my DH nodded off on the sofa, my DM would have insisted that we let him sleep, she’d have covered him with a blanket and would be shushing us so we didn’t wake him. It wouldn’t even occur to her to be offended. He’s her son in law, not some random bloke in her neighbourhood she’s dropped off some mince pies to.

I’d be inclined to tell her to stop being such a dickhead, that he was knackered, he’d over indulged and if he wants to doze off on his own sofa, then that’s his right to do so. And she doesn’t have to thank him if she feels that it’s a huge insult to her, but it’s not, so she’ll be damaging their relationship for absolutely no reason.

But my mum and I have a relationship where we can tell each other if we think the other is being a dickhead.

Be sure to let your husband know so that he can chose whether or not to cook for your mum again.

Yes, and tell her you will do this.

All over the UK are living rooms with snoozing blokes in them..and a good few women too I shouldn't wonder. Everyone exhausted after Christmas day and relaxed courtesy of a few sherberts
FFS...your mother needs to lighten up .

Your mum is being unreasonable.
Yes, it wasn't great but she should still have thanked him for the meal.
YWBU for not waking him up and telling him to go upstairs for a sleep. If he was that tired he should have been in bed. Then you wouldn't have had to listen to his snoring.
I was knackered yesterday and fell asleep for 3 hours late afternoon.

Why was your mum embarrassed? Was he getting drunk because he had to deal with his pain in the arse mil?

She's being a bit dramatic really isn't she? Can't you all just take the piss out of him, that seems like a more proportionate response

A Christmas snooze is pretty standard here! My DH is snoring his head off right now, as it happens.

You and your mum do sound a bit uptight. Maybe cook dinner yourself next year.

Your mum is utterly unreasonable

In years gone by, if someone fell asleep in an armchair at Christmas (usually one particular relative tbh) we'd play the game of balancing cushions on his head without waking him. Probably the most fun Christmas game we used to play!