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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

429 replies

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

OP posts:
Pherian · 29/12/2025 23:08

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

Your mom is being an uptight old bag. He would be in his right to refuse to host her again.

Happeebirthdaeharry · 29/12/2025 23:17

Oneforallandallforone · 29/12/2025 23:07

Well he isn't making a very good one then.

The ragu itself takes a couple of hours.

Not every meal needs to be a ‘song and dance!’

HorrorFan81 · 29/12/2025 23:34

Oneforallandallforone · 29/12/2025 23:07

Well he isn't making a very good one then.

The ragu itself takes a couple of hours.

Well it tastes great and he can whip it up easily for a quick meal rather than spending half a day cooking so will stick with it

JessicaRabbit23 · 30/12/2025 00:34

Let her be embarrassed, let him fall asleep it’s his Xmas too. Who cares… it’s not like he fell asleep with his head in the oven and ruined the dinner 🤣🤣 let it go over your head hun and your husband prob couldn’t give a rats arse about a text 🤣

MoonWoman69 · 30/12/2025 00:40

I might have known the man haters would pop in to turn it all around!
Yes, he cooked dinner, he works hard all year, he was enjoying his Christmas too. Oh but that's not permissable is it, because what? Women have to do this day in, day out eh?!
I don't think one day out of a year is a problem, if he was doing that all the time it would be.
The OPs mother is the problem here. She was the one who was ungrateful and rude, not the OPs husband!

monkeysox · 30/12/2025 00:42

CraftyPlayer · 28/12/2025 19:00

Why didn’t you wake him? How embarrassing.

Wtf. Asleep in his own home. On boxing day. If you can't have a nap then when can you?!

LyssaMoon · 30/12/2025 00:42

Your mum is embarrassed cos she's got a stick up her a* and you're embarrassed cos you've been raised by a mother with a stick up her a*.

Your husband was tired after cooking a meal and fell asleep .. in HIS OWN HOME.... All the rest of you had to do was let him be and carry on with your evening, content with full bellies....

As for not thanking him for the meal.... Well that's just plain rude.

ACynicalDad · 30/12/2025 00:44

Your mum is the bigger problem

converseandjeans · 30/12/2025 00:48

Your Mum needs to relax a bit - it sounds like DH was running around prepping food all day & it sounds like you have small children. He was probably tired. I’d imagine half the country had a nap after a few drinks & some food on Boxing Day. I wouldn’t invite my Mum if she was going to be so judgmental. What did she do to help?

TopazQuartz · 30/12/2025 01:02

couldthisbe2501 · 28/12/2025 21:10

Man falls asleep in his own house after preparing his family (not a ‘guest’) a nice meal. What an arse.

Exactly. Unless he's often a 'drunk' and always falling asleep because of it, I'd let it go, it was boxing day and he'd given a lot to the day.

He should be thanked for what he did and be allowed to chill, poor man. What a crime!

OutOfSynnc · 30/12/2025 01:24

Your mum wouldn't be welcome back with her rude attitude.

Jenkibubble · 30/12/2025 06:18

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

It’s his house and he cooked - him drinking is his reward (ok too much and maybe he should work on his limits )
Your mum is being OTT
That said , the snoring would’ve annoyed me and I’d have sent him to bed
Suggest your mum host next year !

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 30/12/2025 06:25

Plmnki · 28/12/2025 19:04

Main thought, why are you so passive / feeble? Why is your mother so petty?

This..

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 30/12/2025 06:28

Poor guy. He’d cooked for everyone! If you can’t have a little nap in the company of your own family after putting in a lot of effort over Christmas then jeez. He could’ve been woken up by the way. He also couldn’t help snoring. We’d have laughed at that in our house & probably just covered him with a blanket. Your mum is being so uptight & unkind, probably the reason why he drank so much in the first place.

EleanorReally · 30/12/2025 06:36

your dm needs to lighten up imo

TeaCupTinsel · 30/12/2025 06:41

I find it more rude that your Mum won't say thank you for the lovely meal your husband cooked. It's his own home and he was probably exhausted. I'd have probably sent him upstairs if snoring but I wouldn't invite your Mum again if she is going to cause that much drama and be impolite. The falling asleep doesn't negate the fact he made a meal for everyone.

TrustyRusty68 · 30/12/2025 07:12

Your mum is being unreasonable here. Your husband cooked dinner, had a few drinks IN HIS OWN HOME, then fell asleep on the sofa? If you can’t have a snooze on your own sofa at Christmas, there’s something seriously wrong here! Christmas is exhausting! All the shopping, Christmas events, wrapping presents, preparing food etc!!
Let’s be honest! Your mum came to visit you and her grandchildren? You all still had a nice evening playing games and chatting? Your husband enjoyed his dinner (after cooking it!) and drinks and then probably enjoy to sleep. Same again next year! Your mum needs to lighten up!

Anon4778 · 30/12/2025 08:04

I’m on the fence and wonder if there is more to this, a drink problem, perhaps?

As a PP said, there’s no way to tell what sort of home this is, or how the DH behaves at other times. I do think it’s off to get so “gone” you can’t be woken up at any time, never mind when you’ve got guests, regardless of who’s cooked. Pretty standard amount of cooking to do too, imo, not particularly hard work and would be a fairly normal cooking day in this house so no medals awarded for that.

Did he offer to cook on his own as a cover for sinking alcohol, I wonder?

Snakebite61 · 30/12/2025 08:24

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

Extremely loudly!! Wake him up!!

ChristmasCwtch · 30/12/2025 08:35

Your mother sounds like a judgemental old bag. She family, not an honoured guest.

Cakeandcardio · 30/12/2025 08:35

I've been to my family and one person falls asleep all the time. It's not like they can help it if they are tired 😅 we just crack on and enjoy our evening anyway. Your mum is just nit picking and being quite rude. She should not expect to be hosted again.

Whattimes · 30/12/2025 08:41

Hardly something to be so concerned about in the grand scheme of things. Your husband fell asleep on the sofa, after making a nice meal, so what? Nobody really enjoys listening to snoring but your Mum sounds a little testy, unless this is a red herring and she's actually annoyed about something else.

burnoutbabe · 30/12/2025 08:43

Toddlertiredp · 28/12/2025 21:52

Seems very petty to not message someone thank you for a lovely meal they cooked because they fell asleep.

I also would have just woken him up and sent him to bed.

depends I suppose if the chap texts his mother in law after every meal she may provide to say thanks? I doubt he does? More a general thanks with food as it arrives? Texting your family the next day to thank them for food when you are a guest staying over seems odd. It’s not a dinner party?

Mumof2heroes · 30/12/2025 08:47

My son's FIL did this on Christmas day and we laughed 🤷🏼

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 30/12/2025 08:52

Angelcake1991 · 28/12/2025 19:08

I did try to wake him several times but he was so gone that he just kept falling back asleep again.
It was embarassing.

So he wasn't asleep, he was passed out drunk. Around your children and guests. Gross.