Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

He can fall asleep if he likes, hes a grown man in his own home, as pp have said, id encourage him to go to bed, your mum is rude, she doesn't need to thank him, nor do you need to invite her to share your home at any time, you wouldn't want her ti feel uncomfortable! On a side note id ask him to get a check up at the doctors for his snoring as he wont be getting a proper relaxing sleep, if he hasnt already

Someone give him a medal!!

He must have been absolutely exhausted cooking the poor thing!

He definitely should not have been expected to look after his kids too. No one can possibly cook and play with their kids in 1 day.

Your mum is being unreasonable and if she feels embarrassed by him snoring it says more about her.

Did she enjoy her lunch and main meal cooked by your husband? He stayed awake until 8.30pm so had been awake all day.
You know what to do next year. Leave her in her own home then she can do her own thing.
If anyone falls asleep and snores in my home the children have a great laugh, doing silly things and videoing for bribery purposes later.
He's not the first and won't be the last

Your mum is being unreasonable.

my mum was shutting her eyes about 7.30 pm on Christmas night, it had been a long day. I was sleeping on the couch by 9pm. Christmas time is such a busy family time for us and I was exhausted.

i don’t understand why someone falling asleep is embarrassing for you or your mum.

This is exactly my take on it.

I voted the wrong way as I thought you were team DH so I voted YANBU but looks like you are team DM. In our family anyone can fall asleep at Christmas in the living room, but even more so for the chef! It’s chef’s privilege to sample the wine whilst cooking and then relax after the meal is finished. We would all have a bit of a laugh at the loud snoring and probably video it to show them, then we’d all carry on with our games. Chef can go upstairs if we wake them.
Your DM is rude not to thank him for the meal. Tell her it’s not an issue if she doesn’t wish to come for dinner again.

I think your mum needs to lighten up. She's being very childish. People are allowed to enjoy themselves in their own home. He'd cooked two separate meals. Say thank you and keep your opinions to yourself.

Was your husband also cooking on Christmas Day and/or did you have a really busy day on Christmas? We had a busy, chaotic day on Christmas with lots of kids and family staying over into Boxing Day. DH did all the cooking. I would have had no problem at all if he'd fallen asleep in front of family on Boxing Day, after cooking again! Boxing Day is generally exhausting - perfect day for an impromptu snooze! I'd have laughed at him, poked and prodded him until he woke up, and guided him upstairs. Why did you sit there and just let him snore?!

My host could have burned their house down and I STILL would have thanked him for the well-done meal.

It would be rude of me, otherwise.

Does your mum like your husband? Do they get on?

I get that he’s tired after cooking all day I think if it was me I would have gave him a nudge and told him to go to bed if he’s going to go to sleep though and I do think it’s abit rude that you’re mums not gonna say thank you for the food he spent ages cooking but I also get that your other half falling asleep made her feel awkward and probably abit unwelcome .

Give him a break. Everyone in my family falls asleep at some point on the sofa over Christmas - my stepdad, my partner and my grandmother included this year! Nobody bats an eyelid, it’s Christmas time which can be a tiring time of year. Never mind the fact that during a normal working week for me I frequently fall asleep on the sofa at that time of the evening.

I thought that was what Boxing Day was for - overindulging and going to sleep.

Isn't 'passing out' on the sofa just a slightly more dramatic way of describing falling asleep?

Think I've had a nap on the sofa every day this holiday. Hardly a crime.

We were hosting so barely saw the children all day regardless. Shock, horror they were fine spending time with their family. I barely saw my parents on Christmases growing up either as I loved being with grandparents.

It seems beyond your belief one parent can care for children. My husband has them alone two nights a week and vice versa, no issue at all

Your mum is rude not to say thank you and both of you need to chill if you find him falling asleep so embarrassing. This is very minor 'bad bahviour' withina. family.

Falling asleep when you have guests is just unsociable and rude.

It’s beyond my belief that both parents would fall asleep making their guests look after their DC yes.

Why does she need to wake him? Let the man sleep if hes tired. My hubby falls asleep at my mums all the time snoring his head off, my mum grabs a blanket for him and lowers the volume of the tv because "He's been at work all day. Let him rest" let small things go and get worked up about really rudness or embarrassing behaviour!

Snoring is my pet hate and it annoys the hell out of me too when DP starts snoring on the sofa and won't go to bed (because he''s "resting his eyes").

But he cooked nice food for your mum and that's still worthy of thanks.

A couple.of things confuse me. It's not a balancing scale, life and rudeness, you dont get a free pass to be a fick because you're annoyed, something id expect tonremind teenagers - not someone old enough to be a gran. She chooses her own level of acceptable if she's OK with not thanking someone who cooked a (generally substantial at this time of year) meal then that's on her.

Him falling asleep in front of a member of his family after what is often a pretty full on time of year for parents ..... I feel like she'd understand, very compassionate, uts not a huge deal. Maybe if he was embarrassingly loud a nudge and suggestion he went to bed. But I'd have probably just made a game of balancing random items on him.

Maybe the guests are rude and have overstayed their welcome ;-)

My social battery was over way before 8 30 pm. How nice that he cooked for you all.

Preparing and cooking a Christmas meal is knackering, he had a couple of drinks to help him get through it so what? That's what I do, your mum needs to chill out, you're not the Royal family!

Amen