Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

I bet even the Royals have a nap on Christmas day. I can totally see ole Queenie nodding off and Diana and her boys draping tinsel over her.

Now Camilla snores her head off and little Louie balances a cracker on her head while Prince George takes a pic 😅

Like a proper family would

I can’t see the issue. Man rests on a holiday evening when he has been cooking all day and the only guest is his mother in law! I mean…who cares?

I think she is a judgemental old crow!

He made a prawn cocktail and a lasagne! Jesus that should have taken about an hour tops to prepare was he just drinking in the kitchen and pretending he was cooking??

Give the poor bloke a break. Hes been prepping a cooking all afternoon FFS.
A lot of women can only dream of having a DH that does that. No wonder he needed a nap!!

Well my parents won’t mind but then again they like a nap themselves.

Lasagne in an hour tops?! I don’t make lasagne often because of the time it takes, a decent lasagne takes time.

While he should have gone upstairs to bed, it would be rude too if he disappeared and never returned.

MIL did the same on Boxing Day (minus the alcohol). She hosted on Christmas Day and Boxing Day and snored soundly after dinner on Boxing Day. She doesn't drink alcohol, she was just exhausted from trying to think of everything. She is in her 80s but insists on doing it all herself.

I can't say anybody thought she was rude tbh.

I was shattered Boxing Day. It was quite a low key Christmas but there’s something about the whole thing that can just be so draining.

How old are your children OP?

Lasagne takes hours and hours to make.

I'd eat it weekly if it took an hour instead of every two months as its such an ordeal to make it!

After a few busy days, Christmas Eve ánd Christmas Day, maybe you had nice food, festive dining, maybe even more family members visiting? And then Boxing Day your husband spends most of the day in the kitchen preparing more nice food, has a few glasses and falls asleep on the couch. I think your mom is exagerating. He probably didn't fall asleep just to annoy her? No, I wouldn't be happy either, but when you look at it in perspective, it was just a clumsy mistake on his part. If you can be anything at all, then be nice 😊

I don’t think he did anything wrong. Time off work, Christmas, lovely food, a nice drink, his own sofa. Who doesn’t nod off.

Well I would be the one to give my husband a nudge and tell him to be quiet but my mum would tell me to leave him alone to have a snooze, we clearly have very different mothers 🤣

Oh stop with the embarrassing shite. His house, he cooked, he fell asleep. Is she royalty? When I am tired I go to sleep, don't like it, don't come. And if he wants to over indulge in his own house at Christmas, who the feck is she, the mil, to say otherwise. Leave the miserable old bat at home next year.

Why? It's his house too .

@Angelcake1991 Perfectly reasonable for an exhausted co-host (following a busy Christmas) to retire early. No problem, if he had excused himself and gone to bed.

Completely ridiculous to fall asleep and snore in front of the guests. Rude and almost performative.

Undecided about the prawn cocktail.

😂

Your mum is being a bit dramatic but yes, I would be quite embarrassed if my DH was quite obviously drunk all through family dinner and then fell asleep and snored loudly and couldn’t be woken up to go to his bed.

It would be quite uncomfortable to watch you try and fail to wake your drunken husband and then just sit there listening to him snore.

Does he have a drinking problem?

Your mum is being ridiculous. She also isn’t a guest, she’s family. So what he fell asleep, probably more so from being really tired than drunk.

Cut the poor guy some slack. Who hasn’t dozed on the sofa over Xmas?

You should have woken him and sent him to bed. No need to be embarrassed, and don’t let your mum ‘blame’ you for him being tired.

Imagine not thanking him for the meal. Did she not eat then?

YABU. Your mum sounds like a nightmare MIL

My thoughts are… I wish I had so few worries that this is what keeps me up at night. Your mam is being ridiculous.

No it doesn't! What are you actually doing to make it take so long? The mince is 30 minutes max and sauce is about 15 with about 5 minutes to layer it all up, and I am talking from scratch not out a jar. I make it all the time and it has never taken me hours to prepare even after its made you just bung it in the oven and leave it.

If you were embarrassed you should have woken him up, if on the other hand you were only embarrassed because you were prompted by your Mum, then she should suck it up.
It is your husband's own home for God's sake, if he can't have a little too much to drink in his own home- where can he?
I am not a big advocate of drinking as you cook, as I feel it is somewhat dangerous and destroys my focus- but some people thrive on it.
Your mother is being unacceptably rude if she doesn't thank him for the meal- how is the meal and him falling asleep connected?
Your mother is acting as if she is disciplining a toddler, this is a grown man in his own home- your mother needs to learn about boundaries, and you need to tell her so.

The snoring can be embarrassing 😳 and very annoying but that’s all it is. Would your mum be annoyed if he went to sleep at 8.30 but didn’t make a noise? Probably not! So she’s being horrid over something he has no control over.

If you were my DD and had a good husband I wouldn’t hold it against him that he drank too much whilst cooking a Boxing Day meal and fell sleep - even if he snored the roof off! I’d have probably have suggested we played games in another room and left him to it.

If DM carries on like this, the invite for next year won’t reach her. She should say ‘thank you’ for the meal and get over herself.

My DH makes it regularly from scratch and it absolutely doesn't take more than an hour. How are you making it??

Well he isn't making a very good one then.

The ragu itself takes a couple of hours.