In laws with tiny stomachs

[HumbleStumble]

Staying with in-laws (aged in late 60s). We are a normal healthy family with normal appetites (I think?). I am sick of having to "request" 3 meals a day. As far as I can work out they generally must eat a cup of tea for breakfast, a dry wafer with a thimble of cheese for lunch and a grilled sardine for dinner usually, with loud exclamations that the enormous amount consumed for each meal will see them out for the next few days.

Today I have had to drive to a cafe for a normal lunch and bought horderves "for Christmas" just to bulk up the dinner of boiled potatoes and two slices of ham. Children are ravenous. It was their choice of hosting, and I am paying for all the food (but they get to dictate the (lack of) menu!

What's so difficult about feeding yourself when you're staying with them? Why do you expect to be waited on? Buy your own food and prepare it for yourself.

Could you not ask for some bread to go with it?

No. She finally succumbed to starvation and wet blanket DH still didn't say anything.

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

Why have you waited until your last day to have a proper meal. It’s the Christmas holidays there should be an excess of food to choose from.

Am hosting my in laws ( 70 ish ). over new year
they come with nothing no chocs no booze NOTHING
wont eat my food (i'm a fairly good cook)
fil will bring his own flask of hot water for his TEA

fil will bring his own knife and fork

i despair...... I love to feed people but I don't bother now because they always say no. Also they love McDonalds just dont

Sounds like FIL may be genuinely suffering due to her food issues.

What do you think her reaction would be if blood tests showed him to have malnutrition? I ask because this happened to me and I brushed it off (was in the worst of my ED) but if my kids had had those results I would have been horrified.

Just to add, it was only me I starved, I loved cooking and feeding the kids well, before anyone starts!

No. You should have been able to buy the takeaway you wanted. Not their choice. Stop bending over for them

Same here @Thewolvesarerunningagain my mum born same year, day war broke out. We always put her over- catering idown to rationing, making sure nobody went hungry again!
Do you remember the BT adverts with Maureen Lipman as Beattie? Opening the crammed fridge saying “well if I knew you were coming I’d have gotten something in “? That was mum. 😂

even in her later years when I hosted Christmas, she would still ‘buy in’ because it didn’t feel right.

she, and me, would be horrified if our visitors were hungry. I’d rather be left with food than not have enough

Listen. Just get out of this situation. Now. Your mother in law clearly has an eating disorder and you are all pandering to her by accepting her idiotic takes on how much people should eat. She had one cube of feta and went off muttering - leave. And please make sure your FIL is OK going forward as he's suffering because she has an eating disorder.

Speak up or ship out! You are as bad as they are at this point.

Honestly. Fuck this stupid thread. You've allowed your kids to be starved for three days and done nothing about it and you are sitting moaning on about how your Mil ate a cube of feta

Why didn't you remove your kids from t this toxic situation yesterday instead of allowing them to be fed broth. Fuck off!

I agree with this. OP keeps reporting how little they are being given and moaning about ILs.

The DH is silent in this stupid situation while the DC go hungry.

I think there are two options here: never stay overnight again, and eat before visiting; or take meals/snacks/drinks with you and present it as 'saving them the hard work of catering so they are free to enjoy your company'. And if they're offended by the latter, tough. You are all offended by not having enough to eat!

”old people” can have some very weird ideas!

keep on what you are doing and next time “so and so have grown so much, they eat at least double of last time, I will buy all the food so everyone is happy.”

If they say no, then you need to insist you don’t want the children to be hungry so you will do it.

If they say yes, it is a win.

Surely the children say they are hungry? That might help too… 😂😂

Don't host them then

You and particularly your Dh have let your kids down big time. It's clear your Mil has an eating disorder. You could have gone home yesterday. I was on your side until the takeaway post and your poor FIL is being starved because of her eating disorder by the sounds of it

Don't come on here for sympathy when you and your husband allowed this shit show

Dreadful! You should have bought the takeaway you and your kids wanted - not bent over for people who have been starving you for two days

This seems so bizarre to me why don’t you just make yourself some toast or something???

Isn't it.

So you finally decided to feed your children today like you should've been doing for the last few days?

Your ILs are not at fault for your kids and you being hungry! You are!

People can comment all they like about gluttony or be "offended" but your role is to ignore them and give your children food. You have feet, a phone and money in the bank. You can purchase whatever they want to eat

You failed

Wise up

My parents used to undercater - we started eating beforehand, feeding the kids but skimping on our portions etc. Once my brother was running late and DH and I just fed our kids and us normal portions and there was nothing left for DB. Once my mother died we all got to eat normally because she was the Portion Controller. I do think it was deliberate.

Now DB can't help but talk about portions all the time and how much he's eaten and how he'll have to go for a run etc. I think he's caught the disordered eating from her. I'm overweight because I tend to do the opposite of what she would have wanted in all things in life. I deliberately do not mention food with my DC.

😂

they’ve been fed!! OP said she’s been buying secret supplies!

@HumbleStumbleout of interest are the PILS underweight??

I'm not sure that this post is real. There are children, and yet neither parent is able to make sure that they or themselves get enough food, because there are apparently blocks in place to all reasonable solutions.

It makes no sense at all.

I smell a rat.

She didn't. She said she had some supplies in the car - but has still been hungry throughout the visit. And there has been no info about the children since the first post when she said they were ravenous.

🐀

No. The secret supplies have not been adequate on any level - olives!

Staying with relatives is hard .My Sil is on a permanent diet and thinks we all should be also .Once when staying with them there was plate of raspberries for breakfast for three teenage boys and nothing until dinner in the evening which was carbonara made with egg white instead of yolk and no parmesan . I took my son 'shopping' in order to feed him the following day.