In laws with tiny stomachs

[HumbleStumble]

Staying with in-laws (aged in late 60s). We are a normal healthy family with normal appetites (I think?). I am sick of having to "request" 3 meals a day. As far as I can work out they generally must eat a cup of tea for breakfast, a dry wafer with a thimble of cheese for lunch and a grilled sardine for dinner usually, with loud exclamations that the enormous amount consumed for each meal will see them out for the next few days.

Today I have had to drive to a cafe for a normal lunch and bought horderves "for Christmas" just to bulk up the dinner of boiled potatoes and two slices of ham. Children are ravenous. It was their choice of hosting, and I am paying for all the food (but they get to dictate the (lack of) menu!

Are they skint and can’t add to host and provide?

Comment "you're going to eat all that?!" when they eat their pea for dinner

Do they eat normal amounts when they are at yours?

Do they not have food in the fridge? If you paid for all the food then where is it?

If you're paying for all the food why don't you supply more of it?

If you paid for the food then just eat it? Make a sandwich, extra bowl of cereal?

Drives me mad when people are so stingy. My in laws tend to not eat breakfast until about 9/10am so miss lunch and then eat a dinner around 6/7pm. However they are aware that is not the norm amongst us younger people with higher metabolisms. They will gladly announce they have our kids favourite cereal in so that they can have breakfast at their usual 7am and then join in with the toast, crumpets and bagels at 9/10am. They also leave tons of sandwich stuff in the fridge and a full fruit bowl for us to help ourselves to through the day. Anything in particular we want we bring with us or we get asked before they do the online shop if we want to add anything. I thought everyone did this?

There is just no need to assume that everyone else has the same appetite.

My parents are the same, literally have one meal a day and claims it fills them up and can’t possibly eat anymore. We don’t visit anymore if it can be helped as we always starve. (Not skint either.)

Because they simply will refuse it. I've had to get want they want and any extra is seen as waste (and I suspect / worry is thrown away). I have stored some extra supplies in our car given the cold weather 😂

They always say they already have dinner "on" at their home when visiting so decline to eat.

My mother used to serve tiny portions and never cook enough for second helpings, and tutted about the cost of food. Or she would cook pasta with a cheap sauce, chide me for my extravagant cooking, and show how cheaply she could feed my DCs. She would eat fresh fish and steak when she was alone - and not short of money but had the attitude that things were 'too good' for children to eat (ie fresh fruit) but was able to offer them custard creams! It's all about control. Ignore it

YANBU, but what are horderves?

Gah this is maddening. My ex in laws are lovely generous people but because ‘there will be dinner later!’ there was never any lunch?! They used to think my appetite was a marvel: oneofeachplease just eats and eats -said with awe. 😂

I'm too ravenous to spell hors d'oeuvres.

As you get older, you need less calories, your metabolism changes and you eat less. A lot of older people only eat small meals.

I voted YANBU due to the exaggeration and you 'requesting' meals instead of you and your husband feeding yourselves and your kids.

Also, unless you've just met them, surely you both know what they're like?

Doesn’t DH say anything to his parents?

I would hate that. Can’t you just tell them? PIL, we are all starving, so for dinner can we have the xyz that I BOUGHT??
And where is your DH in all this? Can’t he have a word?

I've hosted Christmas and fed 8 for Christmas Day and Boxing Day. There were meat leftovers (which are in the freezer) but not much veg. There are some home made mince pies and a whole Christmas cake and lots of cheese and crackers (which will last ages). In short - there's not much left and I have had to get food out of the freezer for today.

MIL, however, is commenting to anyone and everyone that there is 'so much food' and that I have 'hugely over catered'. So much so that DH has just told her to stop it and pointed out that it's rude to comment on someone else's hosting. She's been sulking all day as a result. Fortunately we have just dropped her off at home and gone away for a few days. She's driven me so crazy that I actually cried in the car when we dropped her off out of sheer relief.

We won't be hosting her next year. If DH's siblings don't step up (and they probably won't) she'll be on her own but DH is resolute. I've never seen him this fed up with her.

He doesn't want to rock the boat. He has starting buying extra 'condiments' such as hummus, pita bread and olives. I have formally requested to get takeaway tomorrow on our final night here as a thank you for all their "efforts".

YANBU to not want to be starved.

YABU for "horderves". 😉

Do they not have breakfast food in the house that you can help yourself to ?
Or toast that you can make for the end of the day if hungry ?

But will happily let you and the children suffer the consequences of not 'rocking the boat' with his parents. That's difficult to explain.

We were asked if we wanted Horses Doofers at our wedding many decades ago. The name has stuck ever since

See my reply above. Fingers shaking with low blood sugar levels.