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AIBU?

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Original poster

In laws with tiny stomachs

543 replies

HumbleStumble · 27/12/2025 19:06

Staying with in-laws (aged in late 60s). We are a normal healthy family with normal appetites (I think?). I am sick of having to "request" 3 meals a day. As far as I can work out they generally must eat a cup of tea for breakfast, a dry wafer with a thimble of cheese for lunch and a grilled sardine for dinner usually, with loud exclamations that the enormous amount consumed for each meal will see them out for the next few days.

Today I have had to drive to a cafe for a normal lunch and bought horderves "for Christmas" just to bulk up the dinner of boiled potatoes and two slices of ham. Children are ravenous. It was their choice of hosting, and I am paying for all the food (but they get to dictate the (lack of) menu!

OP posts:
PurpleSky300 · 27/12/2025 21:57

My DM is like this and it drives me mad. Often says "I don't know where you put it all" when we eat out, and things like that. Just ignore it, buy more food if you're the one paying, and then eat what you like and ignore the comments.

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/12/2025 21:59

I'm sure that's the title of a Jimmy Cagney film.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 27/12/2025 22:01

wizzywig · 27/12/2025 19:07

Comment "you're going to eat all that?!" when they eat their pea for dinner

Spat my wine out reading this 🤣🤣🤣

soupyspoon · 27/12/2025 22:02

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/12/2025 21:59

I'm sure that's the title of a Jimmy Cagney film.

In laws with tiny stomachs?

It was one of his best Ma.

TheaBrandt1 · 27/12/2025 22:02

You all need to take the hint. They don’t want to host you.

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/12/2025 22:03

soupyspoon · 27/12/2025 22:02

In laws with tiny stomachs?

It was one of his best Ma.

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I thought nobody would even respond
Thank you 😂

HappyNewTaxYear · 27/12/2025 22:08

HumbleStumble · 27/12/2025 19:23

I'm too ravenous to spell hors d'oeuvres.

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😆😆 good answer

I sympathise x

NotAnotherScarf · 27/12/2025 22:10

BendicksAddict · 27/12/2025 19:18

My mother used to serve tiny portions and never cook enough for second helpings, and tutted about the cost of food. Or she would cook pasta with a cheap sauce, chide me for my extravagant cooking, and show how cheaply she could feed my DCs. She would eat fresh fish and steak when she was alone - and not short of money but had the attitude that things were 'too good' for children to eat (ie fresh fruit) but was able to offer them custard creams! It's all about control. Ignore it

Pil used to do similar when their grandchildren were young, try to encourage the kids to eat sausages rather than the chicken...as that was for the adults... which goes against every evolutionary urge...to get offspring to adulthood to continue the race...it's completely unnatural.

Franjipanl8r · 27/12/2025 22:13

Anyone else thinking of the lyrics “read your horoscope and eat some horderves” from the song Area Codes by Ludacris?

MeridaBrave · 27/12/2025 22:15

Bring food and cook it at meal times. Don’t request anything. Next time bring frozen soup / desserts (eg apple pie) to pad out meals. Or frozen cottage pie or lasagne.

ohyesido · 27/12/2025 22:15

Is that like Angels With Dirty Faces? Grin

seriously though that sounds so depressing. Stock up on a few treats to eat in bed.

please tell me the ham and potatoes was today’s meal and not Xmas Day?

CrazyGoatLady · 27/12/2025 22:18

Inlaws are like this.

MIL has always been tiny and birdlike and has far too much to say about everyone's weight/size/eating habits. FIL is just tight with money, so he only eats once or twice a day, and wouldn't think to get in extra food for visitors. FIL thinks two teenage boys can survive on a single piece of cheese on toast each between midday and a 7pm dinner. He eats more in the evening, but barely anything in the day and DC are practically keeling over by evening! Disapproves of snacking because he never feels the need. Always has plenty of booze in mind.

Mrsclausemunchingonamincepie · 27/12/2025 22:18

Yabu to allow them to dictate your food....
Get dh to go grab what you bloody paid for and eat it.

Fizbosshoes · 27/12/2025 22:20

My IL used to provide a decent amount of food but massively underestimated how long anything took to make, and were very relaxed slow at preparing meals - honestly MIL once took about 6 hours to make a pie! (Out of ready made pastry and prepared filling)
They would say dinner would be ready about 5.30pm .....but actually it would be nearer 8pm. It was a nightmare when the kids were little as they would be starving. After a few visits like this, I would go in the kitchen and start helping/suggesting what time they should do x,y z. Whenever they came to ours they were astonished how quickly we made a meal - well yeah, because if you're working or looking after small kids you simply dont have an hour and a half to make a sandwich or all day to cook a pie!

squashyhat · 27/12/2025 22:23

CandiedPrincess · 27/12/2025 19:23

As you get older, you need less calories, your metabolism changes and you eat less. A lot of older people only eat small meals.

This. I have just turned 65 and notice my appetite has really diminished over the past couple of years. One slice of toast for breakfast, a couple of crackers and cheese for lunch and a small portion of pasta with a salad for dinner is fine. However I can still put away the wine Grin

soupyspoon · 27/12/2025 22:25

squashyhat · 27/12/2025 22:23

This. I have just turned 65 and notice my appetite has really diminished over the past couple of years. One slice of toast for breakfast, a couple of crackers and cheese for lunch and a small portion of pasta with a salad for dinner is fine. However I can still put away the wine Grin

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Same here and I was laughing at the person saying their inlaws share a slice of toast, me and OH do this because bread in particular is really difficult to get down and feels uncomfortable but at the same time we like a bit of bread so half a slice is all I can manage and same with him

I seem to have unlimited space for chocolate though

NancyJoan · 27/12/2025 22:29

My MIL is like this. I love her dearly, but she has some very odd opinions around food/body size/greed and moral superiority. When she comes to stay, she will spend the entire weekend eating up and clearly enjoying my very delicious food, which has to be planned carefully for her (genuine) dietary needs, but also declares at intervals’I won’t need to eat for another week!’, ‘I’ve eaten more this weekend that I usually do in a month’ etc etc. So very sackcloth and ashes. Just enjoy it, no one is judging you (like you judge them).

She was here yesterday, and kept on about there being ‘SO MUCH FOOD’. Yes, Beverly, there are also 25 of your relatives here for the day. I thought they might like more than a single almond and a glass of weak squash.

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 27/12/2025 22:30

LikeNoYeah · 27/12/2025 19:40

Every year on MN there is a post from someone spending Christmas with their stingy relatives who eat like birds and serve tiny portions to guests. Is it the same person, or is this is really common?!

I saw a post like this the other day

caringcarer · 27/12/2025 22:34

KrazyboutKillian · 27/12/2025 20:00

I have friends ( 70 ish ) who hosted their son and teenage sons at Christmas
roast potatoes were placed in the middle of the table , and everyone was told two each !
friends thought that was normal and were outraged at their gluttony ( lol) , however I have always a second tray of roasties cooking on the oven , for people to have as extras when they finish their main Also have early 20s lads to feed

incredulous was not the word !

My teens would be up in arms if I was to suggest only 2 roast potatoes each.

blushroses6 · 27/12/2025 22:36

I think this must be a generational thing - a couple of my older lady relatives claim to only ever have a yogurt and/or apple for lunch or perhaps a single ryvita if they are really hungry. If we go out for a coffee and perhaps have a (normal sized) pastry or sandwich they will state that they won’t need to have dinner now! I remember one new years eve MIL said she was doing party nibbles (for 8 adults!), she served one single frozen pizza with a few cucumber sticks and that was it!

firstofallimadelight · 27/12/2025 22:37

My parents eat a small plate. Literally a small slice of toast for breakfast, a bit of ham and a tomato for lunch and 2 boiled potatoes, a spoon of peas and a small gammon slice for tea. No snacks /supper .

dhs parents are the total opposite, huge portions and constant offers of cake/ nuts/crisps.

fashionqueen0123 · 27/12/2025 22:37

Just buy food, store it in their kitchen and eat it? We’re at my parents for Xmas and we supply lots of the food. Why would you sit around hungry or keeping it in your car and pretend? I don’t get it.

HoorayHattie · 27/12/2025 22:38

I have competitive non-eaters arriving for New Year . . . I only serve food buffet-style for them as I've got so fed up with them looking at what I've plated up and being told "that's enough for four people". One of them thinks that one piece of potato is sufficient and tea for them usually consists of one sandwich shared between two!

MeltedAlmonds · 27/12/2025 22:44

Incelebration · 27/12/2025 19:42

Yeah, fair enough. I'd be struggling to spell "hearty meal" on the miniscule amount of food you've been subsisting on. It's very inhospitable to starve one's guests.

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It is ‘minuscule’ ;-)

TheChosenTwo · 27/12/2025 22:45

My in-laws only live a couple of streets away so we don’t have to stay with them, they both have small appetites and stuck with one of the Michael Mosley diets that they started a couple of years ago to lose a few lbs (they really weren’t overweight), they now look a bit frail but are happy they feel better so…
They’re in their 80’s, a typical day for them is a breakfast of homemade muesli and freshly squeezed orange juice, lunch of homemade soup with no bread and dinner of roasted veg and halloumi.
they do eat meat sparingly and do realise that other people need more food than they do when we visit but I think if my 3dc were to stay with them now overnight I’d need to send a load of provisions with them!
I’m now on MJ and eat lunch and a small dinner - I’d probably be fine there now!