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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found a wallet

274 replies

tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 00:16

Tonight I found a wallet. Lots of cards, and some cash. I was delighted. But still proceeded to see a driving licence, clearly he has dropped the wallet outside his house. I knocked on the door, I ask if Raj lives there. She said yes, I said I found his wallet. She says she's on the phone to him, I see the name on the phone. She seems happy but no offer of a reward.

I go home, knowing I did the right thing. I have money in my bank account, I can pay tomorrow's bills.

Aibu for giving back the wallet?

People say I should have taken the cash.

OP posts:
chunkyBoo · 27/12/2025 09:34

She was probably a bit taken aback and didn’t think about a reward … you absolutely did the right thing, put yourself in Raj’s place and ask yourself what you’d like if you lost your wallet

pigmygoatsinjumpers · 27/12/2025 09:34

(I have to say, I wouldn't have been so rude in continuing my phone call if someone had the decency to return something I'd lost! That was definitely bang out of order).

OP said:

"I knocked on the door, I ask if Raj lives there. She said yes, I said I found his wallet. She says she's on the phone to him, I see the name on the phone..."

So possibly she was letting Raj know that it had just been handed to her or was already talking to him about the loss of his wallet when she opened the door,

.

Upthenorth · 27/12/2025 09:35

Theft is not ok OP… can’t believe you’re asking this genuinely.

Sharpzebra · 27/12/2025 09:37

You did the right thing and that's the main thing if you lost your purse you would like it back with everything inside

pusspuss9 · 27/12/2025 09:39

LamettaTime · 27/12/2025 06:29

I was delighted when I found a wallet in the supermarket the other day - because I’m an honest person and took it straight to customer services to hand it in without even opening it. Other people might have found it and kept it. Like OP wanted to.

It doesn’t matter if nobody falls over themselves to shake you by the hand and thank you. You still do the right thing.

You still do the right thing.
I copied something I read about doing the right thing, and in not doing the right thing was it would mean going against the grain.

Doing the right thing however hard. I feel like, by not doing this I behaved in a way that goes against who I want to be. I protected myself, but in doing so I think I damaged myself more. there is a peace in doing the right thing that I haven't got.

FizzingAda · 27/12/2025 09:39

My mum used to say that virtue is it's own reward.

grrrlatrix · 27/12/2025 09:44

Ahhh what??!! Stealing is so wrong, surely people still believe that?!

Original poster
tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 09:47

pigmygoatsinjumpers · 27/12/2025 09:34

(I have to say, I wouldn't have been so rude in continuing my phone call if someone had the decency to return something I'd lost! That was definitely bang out of order).

OP said:

"I knocked on the door, I ask if Raj lives there. She said yes, I said I found his wallet. She says she's on the phone to him, I see the name on the phone..."

So possibly she was letting Raj know that it had just been handed to her or was already talking to him about the loss of his wallet when she opened the door,

.

Yes I don't know if it was due to the language difficulty but also it was just outside their door.... So maybe she was looking around the house and didn't think to look in the street where he got in his car.

I know I did the right thing it's just that small percent of greed

OP posts:
austriaiks · 27/12/2025 09:57

tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 09:47

Yes I don't know if it was due to the language difficulty but also it was just outside their door.... So maybe she was looking around the house and didn't think to look in the street where he got in his car.

I know I did the right thing it's just that small percent of greed

Show quote history

Let it go OP, let it go. You are obsessing. You did the right thing nd should feel pleased with yourself. Instead you are creating a drama in your head.

SunnyViper · 27/12/2025 09:58

A thief in the making?

Original poster
tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 09:59

Sartre · 27/12/2025 09:12

DH found money hanging out of an ATM last Christmas so he took it into the supermarket and handed it in. The woman couldn’t believe he’d been so honest, she said barely anyone would do that and would have kept it. He was shocked she thought most would be so dishonest. Anyway they gave him a box of chocolates.

I would always do the right thing here. If I found random notes on the pavement with no clue as to the owner, I’d put them in a charity box.

That money would be spent by staff. He should have let it go back in the mChine

OP posts:
Permanentlytiredout47 · 27/12/2025 10:02

tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 00:46

How would it be returned to the owner?

Show quote history

With that amount of money in, it wouldn’t be unusual for the owner to ask the police if it had been handed in, alternatively the police might be able to find the address of the owner if any details were found in the wallet (bank cards maybe?). Just because they’re might not be an address in the wallet also doesn’t make it morally okay to pocket the case btw!

AgnesMcDoo · 27/12/2025 10:02

Of course you hand the wallet back

you don’t steal the cash

and it’s not the movies so no need for a reward.

PinkHairbrushClub · 27/12/2025 10:09

Did it seriously cross your mind to pick up a wallet, take the mine, and then knock on the door just here to hand it back?

Who would consciously steal from another person full stop, but even worse when there was no inconvenience to you.

Wintersgirl · 27/12/2025 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FluDog · 27/12/2025 10:13

When I was late teens I found a wallet near my house. Same situation, cash and cards inside. Only around £15 but I was on an apprentice wage and it was just before Christmas so it would have come in handy, but I also thought the person who lost it might well have been depending on it.

The person lived a few streets away so I went there and knocked on their door. No answer, so I posted it through the letterbox. No thanks, no acknowledgement it was even returned, but I knew I'd done the right thing.

A few people said they would have kept the money if they'd found it. Asking how I knew the owner would be the one to find it on the other side of the door to justify it. But they'd also be the first to cry and moan about dishonesty if the shoe was on the other foot.

Sure, it probably stings a bit you did the right thing and didn't get the reaction you wanted, but there shouldn't need to be an incentive to do the right thing.

vitahelp · 27/12/2025 10:16

Why were you delighted to have found the wallet? Or did I mis-read?

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 27/12/2025 10:16

Joeninety · 27/12/2025 00:24

Suppose it depends on how much was in there.

No, it doesn't. Theft is theft, whatever the amount.

Climbingrosexx · 27/12/2025 10:17

You are really asking if you should have stolen the money? You associate with people who encourage you to steal? I would think a lot less of them if they were my friends. So you handed the wallet back but only because you were outside the house of the person it belonged too so you could hardly hand the wallet back with no cash.

BillieWiper · 27/12/2025 10:17

If I lost a wallet with cash inside I would not expect the cash back. I'd just be happy nobody rinsed my bank cards. Having said that I never really carry more than about £40 in cash and I could afford to lose it.

Dery · 27/12/2025 10:17

I think the best thing here is to stop referring to “keeping the money”. It would be stealing the money from the wallet. Whoever does that is a thief and committing a crime.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 27/12/2025 10:18

tonightceilaimgoingtobe · 27/12/2025 09:59

That money would be spent by staff. He should have let it go back in the mChine

Show quote history

How?

KitsyWitsy · 27/12/2025 10:20

If someone other than a small child brought back a wallet to my house, It would not occur. to me to offer a reward. How embarrassing for both parties!

LightDrizzle · 27/12/2025 10:20

You know some real pond life ☹️

Well done for doing the right thing and returning the wallet intact.

Eyeshadow · 27/12/2025 10:22

It wouldn’t even cross my mind to keep the money.

I also wouldn’t expect any sort of reward or emotion.

What did you want?
For her to jump on you and start kissing and hugging you? To give you her wedding ring and jewellery?

I don’t even know why you’ve posted.
I’m guessing you want a well done for not stealing off someone - so well done I guess.